We're On Our Way Home...

And hopefully look like this:



As you can tell, I don't expect much. lol

And yes, that is probably some sort of copyrighty thingy, but I don't think you guys will care, will you? I mean, really, it's not very clear, is it?

I'll be back to my regularly scheduled program on Monday! And perhaps will have pictures of my own fat ass to show you, instead of this fine looking specimen.

I'm Currently Out Of The Country!

That would have been really funny to use one of these at work! lol And no, I didn't pre-post my Thursday homework assignment! Go see Kat though, for the Mr. Linky list of those who did!


1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you,
But I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ‘Kate’ instead of Dave.

Let's Hope This Doesn't Happen In Cancun ...

... Or if it does happen, at least let it be to George....

We're still soaking up the sun! I'll catch up on all your blogs when we return. I hope you're all having a great week!

Droll. Real Droll.

I googled some jokes for you fine people. I actually found the top joke in each country. I'll pick out a few. Here we go:

In USA:

A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years. It's the least I could do."
(Jerk)

In Canada:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, under water, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees.
The Russions used a pencil.
(Not real bright, are we?)

In Australia:

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking verymuch worried and all strung out.
She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor??"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes and calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight...."
(Badumbumcha!)


In England:

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first one again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other say, "Go home Dad, you're drunk!"
(Sadly, I'm totally cool with all this, but were they seriously sharing a bar stool? Weird.")



Top joke everywhere:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guys whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead!! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

That's so rude!

Okay, so I'm currently in Playa del Carmen. And yes, I'm pre-posting. lol

I went tonight (Thursday, dontcha know) to get my eyebrows done so they would be all pretty for my trip.

And wouldn't you know it? As I'm lying back on the hard as a rock uncormfortable bed thing, she points to my lip and says "Do you want me to get that, too?"

I really wanted, more than anything, to tell her what a total bitch I thought she was. But, because we all know how nice I am, and how I don't like to draw attention to my own stupidity, I just said "Oh, is it that noticable? Well, then, yes of course. Rip 'em off." Like it's no big deal, right?

And so it begins.

Shit.

Me, An Airplane, And A Very Private Guy Traveling Alone.... Oh, Add 9-11 And My Imagination Into The Mix!

Are you ready for some photo phun? Check out Candid Carrie! She has a whole bunch of whacy participants!


We are leaving today for Cancun/Playa del Carmen. I have been remembering all week our last adult only vacation. It went very well, but it was only weeks after 9-11 and I was terrified that I was never going to see my babies again!

I even stopped at a store in the airport and bought a very mushy card and mailed it from the airport so that the last time they heard about their mama, it wouldn't be on  the news while they showed a smoldering heap of metal in the background.

While we sat there waiting, we looked at every single person. Some traveling solo. Some very suspicious looking characters (that actually ended up being pictured on Wordful Wednesday two days ago!!!) I thought should NEVER be allowed to get on that plane, and if they allowed it, well then, by God, I was getting the hell off!!

I went over it in my mind, how I was going to single-handedly save us all from the terrorists that were most certainly boarding alongside us. I'm a crazy woman with babies at home. Don't mess with me!

We boarded the plane, this poor mama almost in tears, I was so scared! We sat in our seats. We looked around. 

Lo and behold, one of the single guys sat in the AISLE seat in our row. I tried my best to strike up a conversation with him. I HAD to get the dirt on this guy.  And fast!

I asked if he was heading out on business or for a holiday.  

I asked if he was traveling alone.

I even asked why on earth he would go to Mexico by himself.

I know that was rude, but people, I was desperate! And scared. And I didn't want to have to resort to crazy bitch if I didn't have to.

When we got our cards we had to fill out with our information on them, George watched out of the corner of his eye as he filled it out.

His last name was Smith. And he only had a first initial.

And his address was a box number.

Holy Good God Almighty and Sweet Jesus in Heaven above!  Hug my children tight, and don't let them forget that their mama loves them very much. Make sure that they know I was screaming their name until I hit the pavement. Please do that for me, okay?

I was squeezing George's hand SO TIGHT it was turning a ferocious almost dead colour.

Five hours. Seriously. Five hours of this! 

When we landed and we were standing in the aisles waiting to get off the airplane, the guy just cooly looked over at me and said that his wife and friends went ahead, but he had to work so he was meeting everyone there for their vacation.

Huh?

Could he seriously NOT have told me that, like, FIVE hours ago???

He enjoyed himself way too much at the expense of this poor crazy bitch!

Jerk.

Thursday's Homework Assignment

You should join our class today! It's a lot of fun! Go see Mama Kat and add your name to Mr. Linky!

The Prompts:

1.) The last time I laughed really hard...
2.) Forgive and forget...I think.

3.) I remember when...

4.) Write about something that bothered you this week.

5.) Write a poem about a favorite color.

-------------------------

I remember when chocolate bars were 50 cents
and mojos were a penny.
I remember when we were free to roam
and I remember Squiggy and Lenny.

I remember the Love Boat
And dreamed about Fantasy Island.
I remember junior high fiascos
And my brother's air guitar band.

I remember shiny yellow tights
And looking like a fool
As I tried to find some fashion sense
So I could finally be cool.

I remember Kevin kissing me,
Right in front of my boyfriend.
I remember 2:00 a.m.
And all the rules that I would bend.

I remember holding my first baby
And thinking ewww, and ick!
And I remember how scared we were
When at 6 weeks she got so sick.

I remember Vegas,
and cruising to Belize.
Disneyland and Cozumel
And coming home to freeze!

I remember quick zips
And balloon pants all the rage.
I remember looks from parents,
them thinking we were strange.

I remember getting my allowance
And heading straight to the store.
I would go to the German butcher
and buy beef jerkey galore!

I remember when my brother
Lost his sweet, sweet wife.
I remember being angry and shocked
That she would take her own life.

I remember going dancing
All hours of the night
Then going back to Char's house
And playing Nintendo till the sun was bright.

I remember Tanya Hotsack.
Yes, that's her real name.
I remember a guy in an alley,
And he said it was just a game.

I remember banana clips,
and great big '80s hair.
All the neon and leggings
and the Madonna look, with flair.

I remember getting drunk
And my very first hangover.
I remember playing Catch'em and kiss 'em
7-up and Red Rover.

I remember dodge ball
And dancing jazz and tap.
Fighting with my brothers
And sitting on Santa's lap.

I remember Mr. Cowan,
He was my grade six teacher.
And I remember Harold Alsten,
He was my mom's preacher.

I remember writing poems
About heartbreak and dreams
And marriage vows and promises
And how much they both mean.

I Thought It Would Be Appropriate

Welcome to Wordful Wednesday!!!

Don't we just LOVE our fine hostess, Angie?

The last time George and I went away without kids, it was October, 2001. I'm almost sick to my stomach when I look at me then and how tubby I thought I was. Ugh. Girls are dumb. Why don't we appreciate every little thing, instead of wishing for that other 5 pounds or telling ourselves we'll be happy if we could just tone our thighs.

My first time getting some luvin' from a dolphin. Very cool!!

I was learning some sort of dance! I don't know what it was, but the instructor was cute!

We went on a tour and took big trucks up the mountain, from there we hiked and swam. This was the day that a crab scared the hell out of me! Well, whatever it takes to get a laugh out of people I suppose. And they definitely laughed at me.

"George" getting kissed by the 'other woman'!

I was terrified about this one. But then, wouldn't you know it, when went home and bought a bird! 

This is the group we hooked up with while we were there. We went right after 9-11 and the place was pretty empty. It turns out these were mainly Canadians and flew in on the same plane. The couple in the white shirts were from Chicago and were leaving a day before the rest of us.

Another picture of the group. We didn't see a whole lot of them because in our six days there we did seven tours! We were voted the busiest couple!

Next to George, these were my favorite people on the trip.

So off we'll be going again on Friday.

Whatever will we talk about?

Whatever will we do?

How on earth are we going to pay for this?

All will be answered soon, I suppose!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU GUYS!

Aw, I'm just kidding. But I got your attention, didn't I?

Just a few random thoughts for today...

First off, I just thought I'd share with you all that I'm a bit of an idiot. In a good way, I like to think. As some of you know, I leave for Cancun on Friday. I only JUST booked this trip and it hadn't really sunk in yet. Well, it sunk in today. In spades! My whole way home from work today, I just randomly screamed and giggled. It was weird.

Second, does anyone else's hand itch when they pass a fire alarm on the wall in a public place? I seriously have to put my hands in my pockets or hold them together. That's how desperately I want to pull one. I did once in junior high. It was the last week of school, and Sheri and I were determined to pull it. I don't think it was a "Hey, let's see if there are any cute firemen." kind of thing as opposed to "I wonder what would happen if...". Sheri was being very careful, and the pip-squeaks that were below us in school kept walking by. I got impatient and just reached past her and pulled it without thought to who was looking. We're the top of the school. Who's gonna nark? Turns out, a dumb-ass little grade 7 shit did. I spent the last week of school helping the janitor. Nice.

Third, you'll notice that until yesterday, Leon was no longer being mentioned on my blog. He felt he wasn't be portrayed in a very favourable light, and I got into trouble. But, let me tell you, when your life revolves around work (that you can't blog about), kids (well, you can only complain so much), soccer (see my sidebar where I said I suck? Very true) and spouse (he does some VERY bloggable stuff!) there isn't very much else to chat with you all about. So, I now am taking back my promise to myself to never mention him on here again, though from now on, we're going to call him George. I'm sneaky like that.

Because You Asked So Nicely ...

Some of you asked for elaboration on some of Thursday's post. Well, they probably aren't as exciting as you are hoping for, but here goes:

The first time I kissed a boy:

• It was during a game of truth/dare/double dare. I had a total crush on the boy I was dared to go and kiss. Bobby had just said to go down the hall to the last room on the right, so off we went. (I was FREAKING OUT! I mean, really, there is only so much your pillow can tell you about what you are doing right or wrong!!) We got to the end of the hall and looked to the right. Hmmm. It was an office.  Looked to the left. A bedroom. We looked at each other. Shrugged our shoulders. Then he went left and I went right. NO WAY was I going into the bedroom with someone as worldly as he was! So he turned and followed me into the office, laid a smacker on me and then I bailed! If Bobby was surprised to see us back out so quickly (Tammy & Tad were STILL in their room!) he totally didn't hide it! lol  I think he even commented about it.  It's a good thing it was only one kiss, because it would have been really embarrassing to shave off his WHOLE mustache!  Come to think of it, he was 17. It was a pretty pathetic mustache anyway.  Anyway, my friend asked him the next time we saw them at the teeny-bopper dance club how it was with me, he said "Good, but she shaved off half my mustache!" Yup. I. Wanted. To. Die.

The first time I got my heart broken:

• This, actually, is a number of posts that I could do in a series that would take us through the next couple of weeks. However, this young man's mother has access to my blog through a co-worker, and while I don't know whether or not she reads it, I don't care to disrespect her that way. This one you'll have to leave to your imagination. But you'll need a pretty active imagination.

The first time I celebrated a wedding night:

• My bridesmaid and Leon's best man were a husband/wife team. Needless to say, they were both going to end up at our reception with no vehicle to get home in. I offered to let them take ours home and just bring it back the next day for the gift opening that was happening right at the hotel anyway.  She had stated that they would just drive our truck to my parent's, where her car was, take her vehicle home and then bring both back the next day, and I let her know to feel free just to take our vehicle straight home if she wanted to do that. No big deal.
• No big deal, that is, until we went up to our room and discovered that we had both neglected to get our overnight bag out of the truck. We stood there in the doorway of our hotel, looking a little dumbstruck. And then decided to borrow my parent's vehicle and rush to their house, where we were hoping our friends had decided to drop our vehicle and take their own for the rest of the journey home.
• No such luck. We went into mom and dad's house and I grabbed the clothes I had been wearing that morning to the salon, and I grabbed a sweater of my dad's for Leon for the next morning. Our wedding night wasn't quite what Leon had hoped for.
  
• When people showed up at our gift opening, there was Leon is his Tuxedo pants and my Dad's sweater, and I was just in my jeans and button up shirt. When Diniz and Lynne got there we hurried up and changed into our other clothes and finished up the day.

See? Not as exciting as I made it sound.  Some things should just remain unsaid.  lol

Because Carrie Got Me To Thinking....

While I realize Christmas memories weren't the only ones Carrie was talking about, it is those ones that come to mind. That's where memories, and traditions, are made the most.

Another huge Christmas tradition for me is the Christmas lights. Not just any lights. And not with just anyone.

We have amazing Christmas light displays here in Edmonton. 

My Grampa used to take my Gramma to see them.

The electric company opens up one of our major parks for two months. There are amazing light displays there, put on by larger companies and all money in is donated to charity. There are moving squirrels in the trees, Santa's Workshop, and, naturally, a hockey scene. Beautiful poinsettas and there is a Peter Pan display. You can't tell in these photos, but they are HUGE!

The Wrap-O-Matic is one of my favorites. It actually shows toys being loaded in and going through and coming out the other side all wrapped. Most of them do move around like that, on timers of course. It is amazing!

We have this one specific place called "Candycane Lane", which is ten residential city blocks decorated specifically for our enjoyment. People drive those blocks, take sleigh rides, or walk. They push their children in strollers when there isn't much snow, or pull little sleds when there is. There are tour busses and yellow school busses from senior's homes and group homes. Some people sell hot chocolate on the corners. There are food bank boxes for donation and mailboxes to drop off your kid's Dear Santa letters. It is a wonderful way to spend an evening.

Lastly, there is a new sight to see. This guy started decorating his home a few years ago. He has displays in every window of his house, has lights everywhere, Santa comes and news crews come. It is AMAZING!

After my Grampa got sick, we started to take my Gramma out. We go over and pick her up and she is always so excited. She waits with her bags of food donations. She's like a little kid in a candy store. Or, I suppose, like a person who is getting up in age and knows to appreciate every. single. moment.

Sometimes we go for hot chocolate. One time we walked it, but her back really suffered that time. Another time, we stayed out extra long to drive around a really ritzy area and look inside all the houses with their lights on.

We both LOVED it and Leon drove along shaking his head while we exclaimed about this one or that! This apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

Last year, we picked Gramma up to go see the lights, but there was no Grampa at home to be worried about this time. Just an empty chair. It's coming up on one year since he passed away, and I'm hoping and praying that I don't get so caught up in excitement and the 'to-do' list of my vacation, that I forget. 

And when we get back from our Cancun trip, my family will pick up my Gramma and off we will go again. To see the Christmas lights.

Let me tell you, that woman had better live forever, because when it comes this time of year, that is something I look forward to even more than a trip to 7-11. 

Candy Cane Lane and Gramma. 

Gramma and Candy Cane Lane. 

They just go together. 

A Day In Rhonda's Christmas....

Our Christmases are a bit of a whirlwind. My husband's family have their traditions and my family have ours, and I had hoped, once we had kids, to start some of our own.

Let me walk you through our first Christmas as parents. (Mom, you may want to stop reading here...)

It all begins Christmas Eve, which is when my husband's family celebrates. They go to church and then go back to his parent's house and eat, eat, eat.  They are french, so meat pie is a huge deal. After everyone has their fill, and most of the mess is cleared away, Pepere' takes out his guitar and we pass around song books and sing Christmas carols.  After that, Pepere' plays Santa and huddled underneath the tree calling out names. Like I said, they are french, so there are, like, MILLIONS of them. Then the scramble begins. Paper flying, and kids squealing. Cameras flashing and hugs all around. The board games come out for the adults and the kids play with their new toys. Usually it's around midnight before the first people start heading home to do the "Santa" thing at their own houses. It's around 2:00a.m. before this gal is snoring.

The next morning, we hauled Asia out of bed at 5:45 so we could fly through our own gifts. With paper still all over the living room and none of us really sure what we got from each other, we're flying out the door to go to my parent's house, who traditionally celebrate Christmas morning, and then have an early (2:00p.m.) Christmas dinner. We open presents again over there, and enjoy dinner with my brothers and Aunt, cousins, second cousins and my grandparents. Another full house.

From there, we are back at Leon's parent's for their 5:00 Christmas dinner. We stay until midnight again.

And head home to walk into a house that looked like a tornado had blown through. The daunting task of cleaning up our own pithy little Christmas at home begins.

I vowed, right there and then, NEVER to do that again.

We now spend Christmas Eve with Leon's family, because that is the big part of their traditional Christmas gathering.  The board games don't come out anymore, because of the fights they would cause, and while there are still carols before gift opening, someone else plays Santa now, because Leon's Dad just can't do it anymore.

And we spend the afternoon at my parent's, because that is when they celebrate. We do the "Santa Run" a couple of days before Christmas, where, usually my parents run around to everyone's homes to do the gift exchanges so everyone has their own stuff at their own houses for Christmas morning. My Gramma's gravy is a huge part of Christmas dinner for me. After that, we get to go back to our own house to finish our night.

And now we have our own Christmas at home.  Mama makes a nice breakfast of eggs and bacon and french toast and pancakes, while Papa puts toys together and finds batteries. There is usually a nap at some point in the late morning. For the parents!!

Leon is now a firefighter. Last year he had to work all of Christmas Day, so we had to open our gifts the night before. That REALLY sucked.  This year, he works Christmas Eve, so we will open gifts when he gets home Christmas morning, and then he'll go to bed, and I'll make breakfast and try my best to put toys together. This also means that I will be doing the Christmas Eve deal with church, his family, and Santa all. by. myself. 

The main changes that were made to our Christmas did, in fact, enable us to create some of our own traditions. Christmas Eve, instead of going to church with Leon's family, we go to our church, where the drama club puts on a huge play. And because we can be home now Christmas morning, the breakfast is another.  In time, we will create more. But that will do for now.

Go see Candid Carrie for more links to family traditions!  She's having a great contest, you know!  Just post about a family tradition, then link back to her and add your name and post link to Mr. Linky!! (Wow, I said 'link' a lot in that paragraph!!)

Have a great weekend!

I BOOKED IT!!

Next Friday we will be leaving for Cancun/Playa del Carmen for one delightful, fun-filled, relaxing week, with NO CHILDREN! "The Team" as they will be referred to from here on is coming together to look after our kids, our dog and our house!

Take a look:

I was going to take a quick picture of my silly, excited face, but then realized not only do I not have any make-up on, but I haven't even combed my hair!  I have been at this ALL DAY!

But it's done.

Now, does anyone know of a miracle pill that will enable me to lose 50 pounds by next week?

Phriday's Photo Phiesta!

Isn't Carrie just the best?  When you're done here, go check out the growing list of blogs who want your attention!

Let me tell you , I am soooo desperate for a holiday, that I had to go through my pictures from our last holiday two years ago!

We took the older two girls on a cruise and while I learned that I'm not a fan of cruising, I am a fan of some much needed R&R.

There is a seat sale on right now, but unfortunately we can't farm out the kids, so it is a no-go. I'm very sad about that.  But, let me tell you, before this gal has a breakdown, her time for a vacation is coming!!!

Speaking of which, if we were to plan a girl's trip to meet and enjoy each other's company IN PERSON, who would be willing to join in?  I'm thinking a weekend in Vegas, or a Mexico all inclusive.....  Any ideas or interest anyone??

**Update: I just heard back from someone willing to move into my house for the week to house/kid/dog sit!!!! If there is still room on that plane, I think we're going!!!

It's Thursday .... Already?

Thanks Mama Kat for being our faithful, inspiring teacher! She always helps us with our 'getting to the end of the week and I'm running out of sh*t to talk about' slump.

So, without boring you to tears before you even GET to the boring part....


The Prompts:

1.) Write a haiku about what you see out the window. (if you don't know what a haiku is click here.)

2.) Begin with "I thought I saw..."

3.) If I could live in any era of history, what would it be -- list 10 reasons why.

4.) Write a light hearted piece on how to get along with an enemy.

5.) The first time you...


I've struggled, once again, to pick one.

It's not that I can't decide which one because I'm SO full of ideas. Nope. It's that I'm comin' up empty.

Let's see:

2. Begin with: I thought I saw.... a weird lookin' bunch of teenagers outside my bedroom window at 2:00 in the morning!!! Oh, no wait. That really did happen. I was 13 and they were waiting for me to sneak out and join them. THAT'S not very entertaining! (And, note to my kids .... HAHA! I'm just kidding! That totally didn't happen! Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!)

I've decided on 5.

The first time I:

• tried smoking my friends were disappointed in me. My friend's all had a little more respect for me because I wasn't falling for all the "peer pressure" crap. That sucked. This happened also the first time I said a very vulgar thing, like they all used to. They didn't laugh when I did it like they did with each other. They just .... LOOKED at me. Kind of disappointed. That sucked too.
  
• had to put an animal down, I felt like I was dying right alongside him. Right there on that veterinary clinic floor.
• drove a car, I snuck out with my brother, when I didn't yet have my learner's license, to drive to the store. It was, again, 2:00 in the morning, and my parents were asleep. I drove into someone's fence. And then I drove down that alley like a bat out of hell! I was so scared.  (Note to my kids: This DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN! Nudge, nudge, wink, wink to my fellow bloggers!)
• kissed a boy, I had NO idea what I was doing and shaved off half of his mustache with my braces. I discovered that my lips aren't supposed to be quite THAT soft and malleable! (Okay, so some people have expressed surprise that the first boy I kissed "had" -lol- a mustache. To clarify, I was 13 (I think) and he was 17. It was a 'truth dare double dare' kind of thing. He didn't have a clue who I was, but I sure had a crush on him!)
• had a coke slurpee, I knew I'd met my match.
• lost weight, I seriously didn't think it was going to come back.  In spades!
• had to deal with a computer, it was grade 12, and I felt so stupid that I didn't even know how to turn it on that I left class and never went back.   And now there's NO STOPPIN' ME!
• got my heart broken, really broken, was when I found out my fiance -at the time - was stealing from my brother. It was pretty awful. But I redeemed my stupid in-denial self by driving him to the police station myself. 
• was a pall bearer was for my Grampa's funeral last year. It was the most emotional thing I have ever done, and it was truly an honour!
• had a baby, I swore like a drunken sailor! Not during the birth. Nope. In the hour or two that followed. Everyone went to watch my baby get her bath, but I had had an epidural and was still dead-weight, so they left me behind. I was not happy! And neither was that nurse by the time I was through!
• celebrated a wedding night (and yes it was my ONLY time) I spent a good part of the night driving around looking for my clothes!

There were actually many others I would love to share with you, and most of them happened at 2:00 a.m., but my kids seriously do read this, and I've probably caused enough trouble!

Head back to Mama's Losin It for some more fun reads! (Not that I am in any way presuming you had fun with THIS one, you understand.  I'm just trying to set the mood....)

VELVETA-LICIOUS!!!!

I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON!!!!

I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON!!!

I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP BY AND SEE CARRIE AND TELL HER HOW TOTALLY COOL IT IS THAT I WON AND HOW FITTING IT IS AND HOW I SO DESERVED TO WIN AND THAT I THINK SHE'S AWESOME..... OKAY? WOULDJA DO THAT FOR ME?

"SheetLoad's Blog Candy Blow Out"

It's Wordful Wednesday!  Welcome!

I thought you would all appreciate a link to a new cool contest! We love to win stuff, don't we?

Okay, so I'm totally messing up my chance of winning by sharing the link to this cool contest and even cooler prize!!  Can you imagine having all this crafty stuff?  FOR FREE??  This crap's expensive!  How totally cool is that???

Just go and pay them a visit to enter (well it's a little more than just visiting that gets you in, but you hear what I'm sayin'!)

I'm adding one other provision...that you leave me a message just sayin' you're on your way over there, otherwise I'll take out my voodoo dolls and all my other weird stuff and it'll totally jinx any chance you had to win the contest!

You believe me, don't you?

Go on. Click your way over to http://sheetload.blogspot.com/

And make sure you head back to Angie for more Wordful Wednesday!

It Seems It Has Happened

I've discovered today that I have become comfortable in my skin.

Not to say that I don't wish it were different, you understand.

But, if this is what I'm going to look like at this moment in my life,

I can live with it.

(Not only because I don't like the other option, either!)

I have a sedentary job. For the most part, I have sedentary hobbies. I chauffeur my kids around and sit and watch them play sports.

But I also play soccer twice a week and play raquetball as often as I can. I like to go to the gym and jog/walk on the treadmills.

My heart should be in okay shape. It's my ass that suffers. And I'm okay with that now.

Instead of wearing baggy clothes and hiding in them, I'm buying the right clothes that I can be myself in and getting them altered to fit. (I'm a pear, and they just don't understand that your average plus size woman can still have a waistline!) Unfortunately that adds $15 to EACH pair of pants that I buy.

But I'm totally worth it.

I might even buy myself some nice shoes so I don't have to wear my runners all the time.

Because I am totally worth it!

You all may think that I'm silly. But trust me. This was a long time coming!

And One Time, At Band Camp...

I did promise some band camp stories, but truth be told, short of near death for some of the students, nothing major really happened (short of the usual boys sneaking into the girls dorms, panties found in the boys rooms, etc).  There was this one story told by one of the parents though....

She told us of one of the times, recently, when she was pulled over by the police.  She is a very animated person and naturally this story is much better in person than in writing, but I will do my best!

She had just put one of the reflector thingies on her license plate, and two days later noticed a police car behind her. So, she panicked and decided to try to lose the cop. She began to weave in and out of lanes, between cars. Because, of course, THAT wouldn't peak his interest at all, would it??  

She did this the whole way down one of our four lane busy roads, until she thought she lost him.  Then she turned down another road, and suddenly was stopped by a train!

The cop ended up right behind her.

He left her to sit and sweat it out the whole time the train was crossing.

Then they started up again and he let her go another 20 blocks, following her the entire time.

Finally, when she thought she was all clear, and they were just two merry people on their way somewhere, he turned on the lights and pulled her over.

He went to her window and asked her to please get out of the car.

He took her to the rear of the car and pointed at her license plate.  This was where the animation and drama began.

She put her hand on her hip, and in all innocence looked up at him and said, "Well, wow! You can't see my license plate at all!  That probably poses a huge problem for you, doesn't it??"

He assured her that yes, indeed, it did cause a problem. And that it was illegal.

She was shocked (not) to hear that it was,

and said that she was just so sick and tired of photo radar tickets, and that she is a single parent and starving student and just couldn't afford to pay any more of them!

(Yes I'm serious! She really did say this to him!)

He then said to her, "Well, have you ever thought of maybe, slowing down?"

Keep picturing her animation here, my friends! She says to him "Well, have YOU ever thought of raising the speed limits around here? I mean seriously, 50km? That's crazy!" 

When he stopped laughing, he told her that she had two options. She could remove the laminated plate cover right then and there, or else she could pay the $180 fine for having it on there and then he would take it off for her."

She chose to take it off, and he let her keep it.  And then she got back into her vehicle with her laughing children and drove away.

I'M ALL ABOUT SAVING THE TATAS!

I WANNA WIN! I WANNA WIN!

I LOVE PINK, EVEN THOUGH WHEN I WEAR IT I TEND TO LOOK LIKE A BIG BALL OF COTTON CANDY OR PERHAPS A BOTTLE OF PEPTO BISMAL! BUT I STILL LOVE IT!

HEAD ON OVER TO KAT AND ENTER HER PRETTY IN PINK, WEEKEND WINNERS CONTEST!

FOR A SIDE NOTE, I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE FINISHED THE BOOK FOR THIS MONTH'S BLOGGY BOOK CLUB WITH RONDA @ RONDA'S RANTS!  IT WAS A FABULOUS BOOK! VERY WELL WRITTEN AND AN EASY READ! JOIN IN, WON'T YOU? READ THE BOOK AND BLOG ABOUT IT ON NOVEMBER 30!

Some of the Lesson's I've Learned...

Candid Carrie: Velveeta-Licious Giveaway

Some Of The Lessons I've Learned...

....while at band camp with 99 junior high students.

1. Other people's kids are worse than mine.  (It was all your praying that saved their sorry selves!)
2. Apparently I'm a bee-otch. Or that is the opinion of several of them, anyway. (Morons.)
3. It's delightful to get a room all to yourself. (You can fart ALL you want!)
4. Other adults don't go up for seconds at supper time - or breakfast or lunch. One parent even observed that "Isn't it fitting that you first noticed the dessert, while I first noticed the salad?"  (Haha. Skinny people are so witty!)
5. There is a problem either with junior high student's ears....or the connection to their brain. (Ha! The funny thing is that they think we're the stupid ones!)
6. I don't like kids. (God should have had them go from sweet newborn, to toddler, to preschooler, to grown up. But, I guess He's allowed some mistakes.)
7. Other people's kids are worse than mine. (Oh. Oops. Did I mention this one already? I was really only repeating it for my benefit.)

But, rest assured, I am back. Thanks to your prayers and the grace of God I am not on my way to prison, and there are no families about to plan the funeral of their horrid child. I already know that they won't be blessed with my presence at Tour Band in May, because my hubby has spoken up for that one!  (giggle, snirk!) Poor sucker.

Friday Foto Fiesta!

Thanks for stopping by for Fx4 hosted by Candid Carrie!

Today is a short one, because technically I'm not even here!  I am spending Thursday and Friday going insane at Junior High band camp (Yes, American Pie comes to mind, does it not?) with around 100 kids.

I'm sure I'll come home with lots of "And then, in band camp..." stories that will be blog-worthy.

However, for now I have a few pictures to show you and then you can be on your way.

Some of you may have noticed that my mom (aka Why-Not) is a regular commenter. However, you have yet to meet her. 

Mom (left) with her sister Judy. But that would be Auntie Judy to the rest of us, right?

Mom (left) and Auntie Judy again.

My mom's the beauty with her beehive hairdo. Sort of resembles my 1964 shot on Wednesday's post!

Mom's going to have to fill in the blanks with the years!

Renewing their vows for their 25th in 1994.

Mom with her best friend Rebecca in 2008.

Me and mom on my wedding day in 1996.

So, that's my mom!

Now feel free to comment all you like about her.  She reads them all!

Thanks Carrie for all your hard work yet again!!!

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Wow! Did Kat ever give us some tough homework this week!  I'm totally copping out and taking an easy one because I'm heading out to chaperone a junior high overnight field trip and I haven't even BEGUN to pack yet!

I'm taking on the 10 pet peeves prompt!

1. Bad drivers. There is nothing worse in the world than a bad driver. I don't care if they are clueless, frightened, cutting me off, going too slow, confused. GET OFF THE ROAD!
2. Number one is followed very closely by the produce section of Superstore. Which technically is the same, because they're DRIVING a CART! No, people, you do not just leave your cart diagonally across the aisle because it suddenly dawned on you what you wanted to get. And no, it's not okay to cut me off and make a bee-line for the very spot I happen to be standing. Don't be an idiot.
3. Teenagers. That word in itself is an explanation. Nothing more is necessary.
4. Great timing for this one. Self-important people. I could never join the military, because as far as I'm concerned you are NOT more important than me. I don't care how many times you yell it in my ear. This category is also good for politicians (see what I mean about timing?).  They suck.
5. Not getting paid as much as a guy for working just as hard. That really ticks me off. My plumbing shouldn't have anything to do with the rate I am paid.
6. People who make more money than even our stupid politicians for just standing on the corner holding a sign. Or better yet, the people who just take the easy way out and live off my hard-earned tax dollars. There is a job on every corner and stores have even cut back on hours because there is no staff! I am good about helping feed the ones who really need it, though, don't get me wrong. I'm a softy for the real, honest-to-goodness down-on-their-luck people!
7. Rock/pop music videos.  I HATE what they teach our daughters! Some of them are seriously GROSS!
8. Gas prices. This stuff is processed here for crying out loud, why are we paying so much more than everyone else???
9. Greedy people. Oh, do I ever hate this! 
10. Excuses. Just tell it like it is. It's more believable that way. 10 excuses piled on top of each other is just bull, and everyone knows it.

Well, I hope I don't come back handcuffed in the back of a police car for killing some teenagers! Wish me luck! (Or should I say THEM?)

Thanks for stopping by, now head on over to Mama's Losin It for more!

Well, everyone else is doing it....

Wordful Wednesday!

Go and see Angie for WAY more! I think last week she hit 100 participants!!!

So here goes.  I finally found the Yearbook thingy that everyone is doing.

Are you ready?

I just want to warn you that you may not want to be partaking of any carbonated beverages for the next few minutes.  If you so choose to do so, I cannot be held responsible for the ferocious burn you will experience as you shoot it out of your nose and onto your computer.

Come to think of it, I am also not responsible for any damages to your computer from said beverage.

I don't remember what year this one is from, but don't I look horrendous??? I mean, really!  What. The. Heck. Were. They. Thinking!

And, hey!  Is that a BEARD?

1994 - This is so my year! I LOVED 80's hair ... even in the '90s!!

1978 - John Travolta, you coulda had THIS!

1966 - Don't tell my mom, but I actually kind of like this one.

Shhhh!

1964 - I totally shoulda bin a '60's chick!

This was actually kind of fun!! Check it out at www.yearbookyourself.com