My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

Please be advised that you are entering my blog.
My blog.
The opinions herein are mine.
I am free to rant and vent to my heart's content.
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Regardless of the option you choose, I hope you have a fabulous day!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

In The Words Of My Daughter - FML

Trip to Seattle - check

Cheerleading and soccer - check

A million bingos - check

Trip to Florida - check

A miserable daughter that nothing will ever be good enough for - check

Fully supportive of plans to strike out on her own and on her own dime - check

Feminine Hygiene - Day 2 GUYS...WATCH THIS!

This commercial ROCKS!!!

So, just why are they so scared of these things? Are you telling me that as little boys they didn't take the paper off the back of maxipads and stick them to the mirrors, wall, and each other?

....Such ninnies!! lol

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Common Secret That No One Wants To Talk About (Guys, go away)

Huh? Hell, I'll talk about it!!!

Urinary incontinence.

There! I said it!

I don't think it's anything to be ashamed about. We cannot push out children and expect to NOT be affected in some way.

Stress incontinence affects nearly all women who have had children. Some worse than others, of course, but for the most part, we moms can no longer jump on trampolines, skip rope, cough, sneeze, laugh or run.

For example, one time at a party I was standing chatting with someone and discovered something that DID embarrass me, though. And I don't embarrass easily these days!

I had bronchitis and coughed pretty constantly. After about 10 minutes or so, I realized that every time I had to cough, I would cross my legs. I wouldn't just squeeze my thighs together. No. No. No. That wouldn't have been near as horrifying. I would actually cross my right leg over my left and THEN squeeze.


How could the whole room NOT have noticed that? From that moment, I decided to go and sit down and pee on my friend's couch instead. (Lynne, I'm KIDDING!)

I have had several laughs with my very good friend about these situations. She is actually looking into surgery for the problem, to which I say, good. You go first and let me know how totally awful it is. Then I'll consider it.

I've tried kegels and weight loss and dehydration. Truth is, my body "down under" is just plain old tired.

I am not ashamed to tell you that I actually protect myself from these horrible situations now. I would much rather support the feminine hygeine companies than leave a freakin' wet spot.

Now I play soccer, kick box, zumba, run, cough, sneeze belly laugh and skip rope to my heart's content.

I'm not letting something as silly as my bladder stop me from living life to the fullest. And I'm definitely not afraid to talk about it.

For I am WOMAN. Hear me ROAR. (With legs tightly crossed, of course!)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Grand Champion Cheer Team

Our Victoria co-ed cheer team has been in Florida since Thursday. They competed this weekend (in a category by themselves unfortunately) and got .... drumroll please.....

First place!! lol

They did get the highest marks of the competition, so are truly grand champions!!

Unfortunately the weather isn't cooperating and they have been getting rained on. I'm hoping that Disney World weather will be fabulous and they will enjoy their last couple of days there.

Of note: Asia phoned today (OMG I so do NOT want to get her hotel room phone bill!) and Liv answered and started crying saying that she missed her "A". (For those who don't know, that is what she has called Asia since she was just wee.) By the time I got the phone I had two weeping little girls! Sadly, I give "A" five minutes once she is home before telling Liv to shut up and making sure she knows how totally annoying she is. Sigh....

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Six Word Saturday







Friday, April 16, 2010

Virginity, I hereby reclaim you!

Yes, you heard me.

Not that giving it away the first time was such a spectacular moment, you understand.

But because I CAN!

Young girls these days have found a way to take back that horrible drunken moment wherein they gave away that precious commodity to some random little dork that they just met.

They just reclaim it. Verbally.

"Virginity! I reclaim you!"

And then they can give it away again.

I know. I’ve said it before.

Teenage girls are dumb.

Just. Plain. Dumb.

We no longer have to, or can, get on a boy’s case for being a horny little piglet. They are little pigs because girls let them be so.

So if at some point you wish to reclaim your virginity, or it becomes so amazingly popular, or science deems this actually doable after years of research, remember:

You heard it here first.