My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

Please be advised that you are entering my blog.
My blog.
The opinions herein are mine.
I am free to rant and vent to my heart's content.
If you find yourself mentioned here, then you've made quite an impression on me.
Feel free to read on if you would like to know if that impression is good, bad or ugly.
If you choose not to know, I invite you to move your mouse over to the little red X in the top corner of your screen and click.
Regardless of the option you choose, I hope you have a fabulous day!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Look What Came In The Mail...

I am just so excited! I won an apron over at Mama's Losin It? Remember that time she called me a loser??? And then I was a winner? Beat that! Well, it came in the mail and it is mahvelous! It's red! And so glam! Thank you Kat and Leslie for this awesome apron!

Kat and I also decided that once I got it, I would take a picture and post it for you guys. Wearing nothing BUT the apron. And, well, I will NEVER turn down a dare.


So, if you REALLY want to see me .... wearing nothing but an apron ......  

Scroll down .....

Only those with a very strong stomach should continue to scroll down .....



Are you for real??? You didn't actually expect me to do it, did you?? lol

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Friday Foto Fiesta! It's All About Me. (Isnt' it Always?)

Yup. It's me.  With a new haircut and colour.  I'm a spur of the moment kind of girl. And this is the result! For those who don't know, I have been blonde for the last couple of years. Quite happily blonde.  But, alas, my roots were calling. And shouting. And screaming. And crying.
Or was that all the poor souls who had to look at me on a daily basis, perhaps?
Regardless, I'm happy with it, even though my kids tell me I look funny.

Link up with Carrie above and go see some more fotos!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The A-Z of being me.

Well, it appears to be Thursday again. And you know what that means! 

Kat's writing assignments!

The Prompts:

1.) For your birthday a sibling has decided to have the first six months of your blog printed and bound. Write a forward for the book.

2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."

3.) Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place.

4.) What would the truth have done? Write about a time when honesty was NOT the best policy.

5.) What made your childhood bearable? Write about it.

I've decided to write a poem about a messed up thing I did. Rhonda style.

Almost all alone one night while
Bride and groom were dancing,
Curiosity got the best of me and 
Darned near ended in alcohol poisoning.

Ever tried vodka straight up?
Frig, I had not a clue!
Giggles upon giggles came bubbling out
Heaves and vomit too.

I, apparently, was drunk, you see.
Just me, and a wee babe I was caring for.
Karma's a bitch and I was terrified when
Little Danielle came a'babysitting at MY door.

My alcohol cupboards were cleaned out,
Nothing there to tempt her.
Only chips and pop and baby formula
Perhaps a movie all about nature.

Quaking and frightened I left her alone
Resisted running home early to catch
Sambuca shots a flowing.
Thankfully it went well under her watch.

Unto me Karma was kind and smiling,
Victory was mine.
What did I do to deserve such favor?
Xus paid happily, feeling fine!

You'll be happy to know the wee babe in my charge
Zarape wrapped snuggly around her,
Slept through the whole darned debacle
And me? It was a hard lesson learned.

The child I was babysitting that night was the daughter of the bride and groom. They came home to puke everywhere and an empty 60 oz bottle of vodka.  Not my finest moment. However, I did, inadvertently, make my brothers seem THAT much better for the next very long while.

And I truly was terrified the first time I needed a babysitter for my precious children! I thought experimenting like that was totally normal and Karma was going to make sure I came home to the same thing.  Perhaps Karma will show her ugly face in my own children to make me the parent that has to endure such terrible teenagers!! 

Sorry Mom!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Cassie finally had a birthday party!

Cassie finally had her birthday party two weeks after her birthday.  

She got to have three friends over for pizza and out to a movie and a sleep over.

We played a game where they are blind folded, had to run across the room, dig through some bags of clothes and accessories, and then put them on and run back.  

They had a blast!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Very Best In Online Shopping!

Now, I may just be a little slow. Maybe you've discovered this already. 

I have tried to do some shopping online, but I just get lost. I don't have a clue how to find what I'm looking for with only a single (or double) click. My friends, you have just GOT to check out! They actually do all your homework for you.  The site is divvied up and makes shopping online incredibly easy and the site itself is so user friendly that even my techno-slow husband would be able to do it! (Hint hint...)  And if your winters are anything like ours here, shopping online is the way to go. It can be done in your warm bathrobe and fuzzy slippers with a coffee at one elbow and a box of chocolates at the other. (Did I mention you can buy chocolate there too?)

Are you looking for shoes? You find the style you want (all pictured and priced) and you simply click "See all stores" and voila! It is a simple one click to get back to the directory to search out the next item on your wish list.  You can shop by item category, recipient, holiday, seasonal, and even environmentally friendly!

My favorite part on this site is the area for ideas themselves! You simply select any occasion, from regular holidays, birthdays, etc, to their "Apology Gifts" option.  I love this.  They give you some marriage saving, I screwed up, gift giving tips. They even categorize your mistake from little bitty to absolutely massive!  If you go to their Christmas ideas screen, they have actually taken the online shopping to a new level with ways to make your Christmas gift giving easier, both practically and financially. That alone tells me that it is a site you should add to your favorites!

What's For Lunch?? And The Winner!

Okay, so I'm finally going to own up to the fact that I'm watching what I'm eating.   But only those who read my blog will know!! lol  See the perks of hanging with me?? (I say that specifically to the two followers who left at some point today!!)  You get in on my secrets!

I know I posted not long ago that I was okay with myself as I am now. And I basically am. However, acceptance and happiness, and shopping off the rack, are entirely different things.

And the reason I've been keeping it a secret? I HATE it when people know that you are trying to lose weight. They watch every move you make and just wait for you to fail. And the worst part is when people start sticking their noses in your lunch to see what your eating. All. The. Time. Sheesh! I don't do that to them!!

I'm down 17 pounds. My goal was to be down 20 pounds by the end of February. And I just might do it, if I have a really good week.  It would have been a sure thing, but last week was atrocious, and I found myself up a pound and a half. I'm not beating myself up over it, nor am I giving up, like I would normally do.  

Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

So here's what is for lunch today:

We have whole wheat mini pita pockets with honey garlic chicken, cucumbers, grapes and a bottle of water.  For followers of weight watchers, that is a six point lunch.  Not too bad. 

Now, on to the winner of the camera strap:

I was going to post some funky video, like Kat has been. But, I'm impatient and can't wait for my kids to show me how to use the webcam.  So, you're just in for a lamo, incognito draw. I'm sure you all trust me, right??

Here we go:

With my five year old as my witness (and the name puller), the winner of the camera strap cover is Trials and Tribulations!!  Congratulations!  I'll connect you with Matt and Bradie, who will need the measurements of your camera strap and your address.  Thanks everyone for playing, and huge thank you's to Matt and Bradie for the prize!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Monday Funnies

Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

“Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.”

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. “I've been diagnosed with AIDS.” The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, “Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??”

“Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.”

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs in Order.


This confirms that I'd rather be a bad driver than an ignorant one. Thankfully, I am neither.... lol

The camera strap cover will be drawn AFTER I make myself presentable enough for a video presentation. That, and my 14 year old has to show me how to use our web cam...

Have a fabulous Monday!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's A Giveaway!!

It's time for that give away that I promised you!!

Matt  & Bradie from Quiltcetera (and parents of EIGHT!) have made a camera strap cover just for you!! (Okay, and one for me too!)  

You can check out their Quiltcetera site here or go and see their etsy site here.

They have all sorts of good stuff! Go check out the etsy site and come back and tell me what you loved best!  For every comment you will get one entry for the camera strap cover, and for everyone who is a follower or starts to follow my blog, you will get FIVE extra entries! (They are shipping wherever the winner happens to be, my dear Aussie and Paraguay friends!)

This will run through the weekend and the winner will be announced on Monday!

Good luck!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Thursday's Homework Assignment

It's time for Mama Kat's assignment! Lord help me, I'm so not ready! 

The Prompts:

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why.
2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.
3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech.
4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act.
5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

1.) Probably "Don't Call Me Baby" by I don't know who, just because I'm kind of whiny and nasally like she is. And I, too, have a fat ass, so people could easily confuse the two of us.
2.) I have far too much respect for you guys to show you a picture. However, I can tell you that I didn't wash my hair today because I didn't have to go to work and only planned a quick trip to the gym. So why bother, right?
3.) NBA.... NBA.... Okay, that's football, right?  lol I'M KIDDING!!! I totally know it's hockey.
4.) My one pet peeve. Just one?  The toilet paper roll MUST roll out from the top. And since Leon's learned this about me, he keeps changing them. And the punishment, as he found out, is abstinence. Oh, wait, that was before...
5.) Oh, I could write a book on the things my brothers have done to me throughout my childhood years. However, I am stumped on anything that I may have done to them. Seriously. There was the time I tried to ride my bike over a soccer ball, like a speed bump, (and it hurt - a lot.) and totally let them get into trouble for throwing it into my path.... That was about it.  I was an angel. 

Go and see Mama Kat for more!! 

Oh, and I've signed up to do some sort of blogvertising on here.  I'm hoping to be able to do something once a week to promote a company or product.  Remember, you saw it here first! Here is the link if you're interested in doing it yourself.  

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If Yesterday's Quiz Taught Me Anything, It's This.

I learned a great many things from your answers to my quiz yesterday.  

Actually, I only learned one thing. 

This is very clear to me, I need to share more.  I thought I was a chronic over-sharer, but apparently not.  Either that or you guys are just not paying attention and need to start reading my blog with a coffee and a box of chocolates and consider it the best-spent 10 minutes of your day. Naturally, the latter is the one I would recommend. Over-sharing hurts my pride and Leon's sensibilities.

  1. I am the youngest of three and a half kids.  This is correct. My mom had a boy when she was 16 and gave him up for adoption.  She found him around 25 years later and has kept in touch with him and we consider him one of the family.
  2. I once thought I could ride my bike up a square curb (this hurt, don't do it), had a serious bingo addiction (I would go up to three times a day, really), and got loaded babysitting (I'm taking the fifth on this one).
  3. I was engaged once before, and the final straw was when he cheated. The second time. (I'm not real swift.) And yes, the other answers were correct also, however they didn't finish me off. I caught him with drugs, he did steal from my brother and he did kill his dad. The dad thing was after the cheating, so I was already through with him, otherwise, yup, that woulda done it.
  4. My mom went out of town and my dad took me and my brothers to see Silent Scream. I was around 8, my brothers would have been 9 and 10.  That movie scared me so bad I threw up after every drive in movie I went to until into my late teens.  The movie that left such an impression I felt led to play it with my barbies was, however, Flesh Gordon. We were wondering what took my Dad so long to come back from the concession, but once we got the gist of the movie, figured that he was hanging back on purpose.  lol  Brenda never invited me over again. Shocking.
  5. My favorite sport is, of course, soccer. People, I GAVE you this one. It's on my side bar. I comment on soccer fairly regularly. I LOVE soccer. You guys just come over to look at the pictures, is that it?
  6. While I totally love that one of you thought I could get myself pregnant and the rest thought I could drink water standing on my head, I am totally disappointed that nobody saw me as the pole dancing type.  That leaves purring. Yes, I can purr. I mentioned this in my 25 things about myself just last week. I'm really starting to wonder what it is you guys do when you come here...
  7. I once had to move out of an apartment really quickly because my dumb-ass ex-fiance thought that you could house five mice together in one big aquarium type cage. And then I was dumb-ass enough to not know that mice could make themselves paper thin to get through the bars of a hamster cage.  There were three mothers and a million babies. And they disappeared while I was at school. It was an 18 floor high-rise that probably to this day has a mouse problem.  Teehee.
  8. I'm not near as good at this as Jill is.  True, people, true.  Did you read her quiz? It rocked!! But thank you all for that amazing vote of confidence.  I'm a little insulted though, that my own husband immediately went true on that one without even batting an eye. Jill, is there something I need to know about you and Leon/George?
  9. My dream job is, well, I haven't got a clue.  I would love the photography one naturally. And the Australian lie on the beach and blog for $250,000 would be awe-inspiring also. But really, I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life. How sad is that??
  10. My goal by summer is, in fact, to weigh less than my dog. That damned well better happen before summer, but I'll take what I can get. I know that one was saying that it was the wrong answer, but it was correct and you did get your 10 points for it.  Most of you did get this one right. One of you said that I wanted to be okay with my daughter's lesbian friend, and let's just settle this right now and say, this is abso-f*cking-lutely not the right answer. Although that is not the only reason I don't want my kid around her (she was already free and easy in grade 7!!!), I do admit to being a homophobic byotch. Yeah, you heard me right. 
I hope you all feel enlightened now and not so uncomfortable that you will avoid eye contact at all costs if you do happen to meet me one day.  You do still want to do coffee one day, right? 


Monday, February 16, 2009

My Turn. Or Would That Be Your Turn?

I stole this from Jill, and I have no idea how to make this work either.  You'll have to scroll down to get to the quiz!

It's All About Me .... And What Makes Me (so f*cked up) Tick
1) I am the youngest of three and a half kids.

Powered By:

Happy Family Day!

I just wanted to wish all of my Canadian friends and family a happy Family day! Most of us have the day off work and will enjoy the day skiing or skating or shopping .... whatever.  Those were our plans too, until Asia got really sick.  Now we'll be staying close to home today. She's still sleeping, and into hour 13.  Her friend's household has mono and she just spent the night there last weekend, soooooo, putting two and two together....

I also am wishing my American friends a very happy President's Day!  I don't know if this is a work-free day for you, or just a day to thank your lucky stars that Bush is gone, but regardless, enjoy your day also.

And for my friends from the rest of the world, Happy Monday!!

I'll be back to blogging as usual tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

She Said, He Said.

She Said....

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after.

She went shopping, dancing, lunching, drank martinis whenever she wanted, always had a clean house, only cooked if she felt like it, had many boyfriends and sex whenever she pleased, never got fat, traveled more, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, watched chick flicks whenever she wanted, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her arse, rarely had a reason to cry or yell, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, farted whenever she wanted, and had high self-esteem.

The End

He said....

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.

The End

I'm going to apologize to my gender and tell you all that HIS fairytale made me laugh out loud!!! 
HER'S just made me jealous.  lol

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Wordful Wednesday

Happy Wordful Wednesday! 
My eldest daughter came home FLYING! She was in such a rare good mood that I had to laugh at her. (It's gone now, but, whatever, right??) She was talking and laughing about what an AWESOME day it was! Then when we got home, I asked her if it was really a good day, or perhaps I should wait.

Her reaction of course, was "what are you going to do to wreck it?"

I turned and handed her a package that had come for her in the mail. It was from a male friend that moved away to England in 2007 (

My delightful girl screamed her fool head off.

And then she started to cry.

And this is what was in it.... Just in time for Valentine's Day.

She also got a beautiful card and he wrote just the sweetest thing inside. And he sent her some pictures. In one he has no shirt on. She's over the moon, naturally. I mean, really, WHAT is sexier than a 14 year old practically pre-pubescent boy with no shirt on?


He is actually a very sweet boy who obviously adores my daughter. 
And, really, besides loads of money, what else could a mama want for her girl?

Monday, February 09, 2009

It's Not As Bad As I Thought...

Hey everyone. Betty tagged me for this "What's in your purse?" post. I warned her....
I would love to do something fun like Kat did, with her video, but we all know that while Kat can afford the 10 pounds the camera puts on .... I cannot.

Before you get to this, you might want to remember number 18 from yesterday's post. I'm just sayin'.

Meet Joe.  Joe Boxer.  I told Leon I wanted a big-ass bag for Christmas, and boy, did he come through for me!

I so love the inside of this bag!! And I so rarely see it....

Everyone, meet all my shit.
All my shit, meet everyone.

Now, to be more specific:
We have in the back row my make up bag, wallet and very full Weight Watcher's bible with about a gazillion week's worth of booklets in it.
Next-ish row, there is an oversized book (just to put it all in perspective for you), my cell phone (which is rarely answered), a few random coins, lip gloss that never quite made it back into my make up bag, and the schedule for last Saturday's cheer competition.
Also in there, empty gum wrappers, blockbuster card, three stray earrings each with no partner to be found, a business card for I can't figure out what (or why), deodorant, a coupon, pointsbooster, icky stained receipts, gum, tea, my work badge, my work keys and extra set of vehicle/house keys.


I carry around one of my prizes from Angie at Seven Clown Circus.
And lots of gum.

Unfortunately, not too much cash...
and WAY too much garbage!

You've learned way too much about me in these past two days.
I apologize.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

25 Things About Me - As Seen On Facebook

I don't spend a whole lot of time on facebook, and don't like participating in "forwards" because I feel like I'm pushing things on people. Here, however, you come and read because you want to. But, by all means, I'm totally okay with you clicking away if this isn't up your alley.

  1. My husband's name is Leon, but is George on my blog when I'm being nasty or telling a story that would embarrass him.
  2. We've been married for almost 13 years, and together for darned near 17. Wow.
  3. I work in health care and am hoping that saves me in this time of economic upheaval!
  4. I have three daughters.
  5. I have a goal to weigh less than my dog before summer hits.
  6. I hate the neighbourhood we live in.
  7. I can't jump, skip rope, laugh, cough or sneeze without fear anymore.  See #4.
  8. I want to travel the world, but money and bathroom issues hold me back.
  9. I LOVE '80s music!
  10. I also secretly enjoy some of my teenage daughter's music. Some of it still REALLY sucks though!
  11. I HATE skinny jeans. We wore tight jeans way back when ... why did they not look as bad?
  12. Junior high girls scare me.
  13. I have decided that Blogstalker is a guy. But still occasionally wonder if I'm right.
  14. I finally told Leon that once a month I want to either divorce him or kill him. You understand.
  15. I have learned not to blame the dryer for my lost socks. See #4.
  16. I think that the real reason there are not more female firefighters is because firemen act like children. Women just couldn't handle that level of stupid on a daily basis. See #1.
  17. When I'm PMS-ing, I average 3-4 chocolate bars a day. This helps ease the pressure from #14.
  18. I try to be organized, but sadly, I fail miserably.
  19. I long to be a blogger with a gazillion followers and time to visit others regularly. But I just. can't. do. it.   Sigh.
  20. I went blonde, had laser eye surgery, and got a tattoo of a flowered gecko all in one week back in 2006.
  21. I did this to draw people's eyes AWAY from my ever expanding ass.
  22. I don't think it worked.
  23. I have never had a girl's weekend away. I long for it like you wouldn't believe. See #8.
  24. I sometimes wish I had a sister.
  25. I just spent $350 on portraits from a photo session.  Yes, I know I am a photographer, but sometimes it's nice to get something extra special done. And we haven't had family pictures since before Olivia was born. My Mom and Leon both think I should take my photography more seriously and make a full time gig out of it. But I lack self confidence. Oh, and money. That too.
I hope I didn't just succeed in boring you to tears!!!  Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Oh, and check out Tattooed Minivan Mom for more memes!!  (Her blog is adult only content, and it's frigging hilarious!!!)

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Friday Foto Fiesta!

This is a must read!

Happy Friday everyone!!! I'm playing along today with
You should play too!!

Meet Matt and their new addition.
Isn't he gorgeous?
The baby, ladies. The baby!
(Oh, and remember when I told you about my teddy bear named Matthew?
Yeah, well.....)
Moving on.

Matt and his wife are the ones donating the awesome camera strap cover to giveaway on my blog!
But they've been a little busy.
You understand!

Awww, SO SWEET, you're thinking to yourself.
Two little boys to make mommy and daddy so proud!
Proud? Yes.

Meet six of their now eight children.
(Done one at a time, I must point out!)
This family is amazing.
These kids are amazing!
They quilt.
They bake.
They do chores.
They get top marks in school.
You don't even know when these kids are in the room.
ONE of mine is louder than all of theirs combined.
Some people were just made for parenting.

Oh, and I just wanted to confirm with you ladies....
You scrolled back up to see how fine the mom of eight looks, didn't you?

Have a great weekend!
Mine's crazy, so I won't be back until Monday.
Play safe.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Oh, this is your luckiest of lucky days! It is time for Thursday's homework assignment from Kat over at Mama's Losin' It, and let me tell you, I'm layin' down ALL my chips for this one.

The Prompts:

1.) Tell us about a lie you told that you later regretted.
2.) Choose a task you'd like someone to complete and write a poem asking them to do it.
3.) Describe a talent you have.
4.) Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.

Am I doing one? Nope.

Two? Not a chance.

Three? Ack! You insult me!

All four? Well, since you're asking so nicely!

Here we go!

1. A lie I regretted. First, let me give you some advice. NEVER tell a lie when you are in a split 3/4 class, and your brother is in the SAME class! Our teacher, Mr. Russell, was buying our row milkshakes from McDonald's because we got all of our spelling right. So he went along and asked everyone what kind they wanted. So I answered "I'll have strawberry. I'm allergic to chocolate!" Lane piped right up and said "NO you're not!!!" Shit.

The above advice also applies in piano lessons, when, at the recital you don't want to perform so you lie and say you forgot your music book. Don't do that when BOTH of your brothers are in the same recital. 'Cause that would be really dumb.

2. We'll come back to this....

3. My talent? I can purrrr. Jealous, aren't you? Well, if not, you're men DEFINITELY are. They're strange and predictable creatures that way.

4. What is on my mind?
  1.  How the HELL am I going to get everything done this week??? I'm only one person.
  2.  But, then again, I don't LOOK like only one person. 
  3.  My Lordy, I love to watch Asia cheer!
  4.  I'm PMS-ing, and I need chocolate. 
  5.  By tomorrow, I'm either going to want to divorce or kill Leon. 
  6.  Poor Leon.
  7.  I hope our family pictures turned out okay!
  8.  I'm totally bummed that I can't go to Australia!!! The team joined the 40+, so I'm too young.
  9.  I can't wait until Leon writes his year exam so that number 2 can get done! (No, not #2, likt that! See assignment #2!) 
  10.  Poor Leon!

2.   My poem....  

 Leon, oh Leon. Could you grab the mop
And duct tape the paint roller to the top?
We've got a wall, that's been waiting for you
And perhaps while we're at it, we'll get moulding too!

Oh, can you see it? It'll look so cool!
And if we do it just right, it'll hide the Mastiff drool!
Then from there, we'll work on the floor!
Rip out the lino from cupboard to door!

Something dark, that'll hide dirty footprints
And tough enough to handle scratches and dints.
Let's bust out the wall, and add a breakfast nook!
Oh, can you imagine how bright and open it'll look?

Then down the hallway, with beige or yellow?
Oh, you're gonna be a busy little fellow!
On to the girl's rooms with windows and paint,
You'll work like a dog, with nary a complaint!

Then our room, hmmm. Could you add a walk in closet?
And we can redo our bathroom, new toilet? Funky faucet?
With all this done, spring will almost be arriving!
Then we'll head outside, oh the plans I've been contriving!
Plants will be growing and flowers suitably dying.
I'll forget to water them, and in the sun they'll be frying.
You'll look at them and at me you'll frown.
I'll water them too much, and then they'll drown.

Then we'll sit out in the warm summer day
With a beer in my hand, the to-do list put away.
The kids will run and chase and play
And that's when we'll decide whether to move ... or stay.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

wordful/Wordless Wednesday

Asia's cheer competition!!! 

Go and see Angie at Seven Clown Circus for more!

A Lighter Day Today

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?' At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...'You agonna try again.'

This is so beautiful;

A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that fucking party, you're lucky you don't bark!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

I Don't Get It.

No, this post is not about my sex life. Or, more accurately, Leon's.

A quick warning for all of my Christian friends:

You do NOT want to read this post today. 

I may swear.

And I may be downright offensive.

Because I'm feeling a little bit nasty today.

I was away from blogging for a couple of days to tend to my life. The life that I've been overwhelmed with lately. Everything hits at once. I know I'm not alone in this. It is the season for tournaments and competitions and championships and all sorts of crazy, let's see how much the parent's can take before they snap completely, schedules.

That isn't the reason I will complain and offend today, though.

It's this.

Meet Tuesday. 
Tuesday full of grace. 
Tuesday is two years old.  
Tuesday is battling cancer.

I've only been reading about Tuesday for the past few months or so.  But let me tell you, this sweet little girl touched my soul.

I read while they were anticipating her full remission.

I cried when they found a new tumor.

I don't pray, but I was definitely thinking of them all while she went through chemo. Again.

I was shocked when there was nothing more they could do. Her mother wrote that it was time to take her home

That was January 28/29.

I completely lost it when I returned to blogland to find that she had died on January 30.

I cried for about 20 minutes. Gut-wrenching sobs for this little girl. For her family.

And then I got mad.  I got pissed right off.

The way someone with not a whole lot of faith does when a child suffers.

I hope that there is a Heaven. I really do.  I hope it looks like a great big McDonald's Playland.

See. That's my version of faith. It's hope. 

Hope that there something out there a whole site better that this shithole. 

It's hope that Tuesday is no longer suffering.

It's hope that her mother gets to hold her again, happy and painless.

Let's be real for a minute though, shall we?

I'm not going to be stroking any heavenly egos and glorifying God and lifting up thanks that she is now in the loving arms of Jesus.

That little girl SHOULD be in the loving arms of her MOTHER.

God will get her in due time, but she was needed here. Now.

If He's all that great, why on earth do these little people suffer? Don't give me any free will bullshit, or Adam and Eve crap. I don't buy it.

I think people say what they think will justify the moment.

Nothing justifies this.

Nothing justifies a God sitting up on His little cloud watching while a child is tied to a bathtub faucet for 10 years.

Nothing justifies looking on while there is sexual abuse of any kind being done to a child. 

Nothing justifies a little person knowing cancer and pain as the norm in their life. 

If that's the kind of love God doles out to his "children", I don't want it.

Thanks anyway.

For anyone who lives in the area, here are the plans for the celebration of wee Tuesday's life.
Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 am
Colorado Horse Park
7522 South Pinery Drive
Parker, CO 80134