My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Oh, this is your luckiest of lucky days! It is time for Thursday's homework assignment from Kat over at Mama's Losin' It, and let me tell you, I'm layin' down ALL my chips for this one.

The Prompts:

1.) Tell us about a lie you told that you later regretted.
2.) Choose a task you'd like someone to complete and write a poem asking them to do it.
3.) Describe a talent you have.
4.) Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.

Am I doing one? Nope.

Two? Not a chance.

Three? Ack! You insult me!

All four? Well, since you're asking so nicely!

Here we go!

1. A lie I regretted. First, let me give you some advice. NEVER tell a lie when you are in a split 3/4 class, and your brother is in the SAME class! Our teacher, Mr. Russell, was buying our row milkshakes from McDonald's because we got all of our spelling right. So he went along and asked everyone what kind they wanted. So I answered "I'll have strawberry. I'm allergic to chocolate!" Lane piped right up and said "NO you're not!!!" Shit.

The above advice also applies in piano lessons, when, at the recital you don't want to perform so you lie and say you forgot your music book. Don't do that when BOTH of your brothers are in the same recital. 'Cause that would be really dumb.

2. We'll come back to this....

3. My talent? I can purrrr. Jealous, aren't you? Well, if not, you're men DEFINITELY are. They're strange and predictable creatures that way.

4. What is on my mind?
  1.  How the HELL am I going to get everything done this week??? I'm only one person.
  2.  But, then again, I don't LOOK like only one person. 
  3.  My Lordy, I love to watch Asia cheer!
  4.  I'm PMS-ing, and I need chocolate. 
  5.  By tomorrow, I'm either going to want to divorce or kill Leon. 
  6.  Poor Leon.
  7.  I hope our family pictures turned out okay!
  8.  I'm totally bummed that I can't go to Australia!!! The team joined the 40+, so I'm too young.
  9.  I can't wait until Leon writes his year exam so that number 2 can get done! (No, not #2, likt that! See assignment #2!) 
  10.  Poor Leon!

2.   My poem....  

 Leon, oh Leon. Could you grab the mop
And duct tape the paint roller to the top?
We've got a wall, that's been waiting for you
And perhaps while we're at it, we'll get moulding too!

Oh, can you see it? It'll look so cool!
And if we do it just right, it'll hide the Mastiff drool!
Then from there, we'll work on the floor!
Rip out the lino from cupboard to door!

Something dark, that'll hide dirty footprints
And tough enough to handle scratches and dints.
Let's bust out the wall, and add a breakfast nook!
Oh, can you imagine how bright and open it'll look?

Then down the hallway, with beige or yellow?
Oh, you're gonna be a busy little fellow!
On to the girl's rooms with windows and paint,
You'll work like a dog, with nary a complaint!

Then our room, hmmm. Could you add a walk in closet?
And we can redo our bathroom, new toilet? Funky faucet?
With all this done, spring will almost be arriving!
Then we'll head outside, oh the plans I've been contriving!
Plants will be growing and flowers suitably dying.
I'll forget to water them, and in the sun they'll be frying.
You'll look at them and at me you'll frown.
I'll water them too much, and then they'll drown.

Then we'll sit out in the warm summer day
With a beer in my hand, the to-do list put away.
The kids will run and chase and play
And that's when we'll decide whether to move ... or stay.


avtcoach said...

Love that poem, you should add poet to your talent list. I always admire the posts on Kat's carnival and haven't participated yet...I'm envious as it seems to come easy for you! Well Done!

Ronda's Rants said...

I am so impressed...purring and a poem!!

Buddha's Place said...

Nice one! Poor Leon...snort snort. When he's done send him this way!

wy-not said...

Oooh. Hahahah. Gotta love that poetic licence. When 'dent' doesn't rhyme, just make up a new word. You slay me my darling. But that's a great poem, and a great list, and geez I have a great daughter. And I loved your 'lies'! You were always creative. Poor Leon!

Rhonda said...

Okay, my journalist mother whom I thought knew everything:

dint |dint|
1 an impression or hollow in a surface : the soft dints at the top of a coconut.
2 archaic a blow or stroke, typically one made with a weapon in fighting.
• force of attack; impact : I perceive you feel the dint of pity.
verb [ trans. ]
mark (a surface) with impressions or hollows : [as adj. ] ( dinted) the metal was dull and dinted.
by dint of by means of : he had gotten to where he was today by dint of sheer hard work.
ORIGIN Old English dynt [stroke with a weapon,] reinforced in Middle English by the related Old Norse word dyntr; of unknown ultimate origin. Compare with dent .


Bree Shaw said...

great poem! and i am sure the men are jealous of "poor leon" b/c you can purr and their wives can't!

wy-not said...

Well, you learn something new every day, smartass! I thought the word was dent. Thank you for the edumacation. You thought I knew everything? Wow, I sure had you fooled. :-)

Betty said...

I agree with avtcoach. You should add being a poet to your talents!
Poor Leon....or was it George?! :)

Anonymous said...

I liked that! Not only was it very, very good but I like all of your remodeling ideas!

Jenners said...

Visiting from MamaKat's Writers Workshop...

First off....poor Leon. Poor poor Leon.

Poem is the BEST! May I borrow it and give it to my husband? Just need to change a few words ... like Leon. And perhaps some of the colors.