My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

Please be advised that you are entering my blog.
My blog.
The opinions herein are mine.
I am free to rant and vent to my heart's content.
If you find yourself mentioned here, then you've made quite an impression on me.
Feel free to read on if you would like to know if that impression is good, bad or ugly.
If you choose not to know, I invite you to move your mouse over to the little red X in the top corner of your screen and click.
Regardless of the option you choose, I hope you have a fabulous day!

Friday, October 31, 2008

And the years go by.....

I am so ashamed. I have searched albums. I have searched boxes. I have searched discs.

I can't find anything very recent. And the only picture I have left of Liv's first Halloween is upstairs. In a frame. You'll just have to trust me when I tell you what a cute little bumble bee she was. And Cassie was a beautiful princess. And Asia was a scary vampire.

So what follows are what I could find of dress-ups gone right, and wrong.

Happy Halloween everyone. Stay safe and stay warm!

Asia's first almost Halloween, in 1994.  This was actually late summer, but this is so much cuter that the little clown hat and bib I threw on over her sleeper!
Here is the only one I have of Liv last year. My poor third child.

Asia in 1999.
Asia & Cassie, in 1997, back when Asia loved her sister, and there was not yet a Livvy to love.
This is my middle daughter Cassie in 2006.  She is also the little Elmo pictured above!

Asia in, I think, 2001.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday's Homework Assignment

It's time for our homework again. Mama's Losin' It has given us some options. Because she's just that nice. And pretty. Go and see for yourself....

The Prompts:

1.) Write from the point of view of a glass at the edge of the table.
2.) Describe a typical day during your Jr. High years.
3.) Why do you write?
4.) When I'm around too much negativity I...
5.) You've been hired as a writer for "Late Show with David Letterman." Your first assignment is to come up with a witty, nonpolitical Top Ten list for him to read on air.

I considered number two, but it would be pretty short.

A typical day in my Junior High Hell would be as follows:
Talk on the phone all night with my friends the night before.
Go to school the next morning wondering who would still be my friend.
The end.
Yup. Short, sad, true story. 

So I considered number 1.

Write from the point of view of a glass on the table:
Then I thought of how I would look through the convex glass, and how the glass would throw itself off the table and shatter into a million pieces, just to end its misery.
And that would be oh so sad.
The end.

Number 3, Why do I write? Already did that one...

Number 4. With all due respect, you guys have survived much negativity already on my blog lately, and I feel your pain and refuse to go there.

By process of elimination, I think I'll write about number 5. I may only GET 5, but I'll do my best.  Here goes:

David Letterman's Top 10 List ....... of why you should all read Mama Kat DAILY! (Complete WITH LINKS!!)

And the number one reason you should all read Mama Kat daily is .......

Stop over and see her.... Okay, okay, head BACK on over there and check out the next one on the list. I'm not completely "losin it", I know that's where you came from... lol

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Old Stompin Grounds....

I was doing some family photos at our old subdivision in the fall, and used these hunks to test my camera settings. Usually I delete my test shots, but I just can't stand the thought of these photos ending up in the cyber trash. I recommend clicking on the first one to get the full effect of his expression!! Don't forget, though, to arrow back, or you'll end up closing the window, and then cursing a blue streak, like I do.....
Funny .... This is how my family looks at me. Daily.

They keep animals of some kind in the common grounds to keep taxes low because it will be considered farm land. When we were there it was horses, but the renter left with his horses, and so they brought these in. Aren't they cute, Mamahut??? lol

Be sure to go check out more Wordful Wednesdays at 7 Clown Circus! That's where all the cool bloggers are today ..... lol

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The ABC's that make me ME.

I got this idea from Jill, who got it from someone else, who got it from someone else.

I'm going to try my best to make it things that make me my happy contented self (gag, choke, giggle), but some of my inner negatives may slip in. But, like I titled it, it is just me, being me. 

  • A.  Asia. My beautiful eldest daughter. I think it's pretty cool of me that I've let her live this long, all things considered....
  • B.  Basking on the Beach in a Bikini - Back when I was Billions of pounds lighter. Well, I guess the "me" in that statement is more, being Bummed about not having the Body for the Beach in a Bikini.
  • C.  Candles.  I love candles. Vanilla is my favorite. And it gives Leon a headache. I still use vanilla candles, only now not so innocently, and actually enjoy them more, because then I know it will be Leon with a headache that night....
  • D.  Dogs. I love my dogs. Porky, the rotty, who is now in heaven (November 1. 2002) and Ringo, the 190 pound English Mastiff who thinks he is a lap dog. He leaves hair on everything and slobber on my walls, and my pants, and in Livvy's hair, because she is just the perfect height.
  • E.  Eh? Need I say more?
  • F.  Friends and Family.  They're a little weird, but overall Fun to be with. lol
  • G.  Grampa. It is almost a year since he passed away. But I'm still in denial.
  • H.  Happy. I'm usually a pretty happy person. It's come and gone over the years, but I'm slowing down and actually have started to find the Happy in me again. It's pretty cool.
  • I.  Ice.  I would chew on ice 24/7 if I could. I don't go to the hospital to welcome brand new babies into the world because I adore their snuggles and smells. I don't go out and find the perfect gift for said baby because I totally love to do it. I don't bring my kids because they are desperate to see the wee babe. Nope. I go for the ice chips. Knowing the new addition and bringing a gift gets my sorry self in the door, and the kids are sent for ice IMMEDIATELY, and it looks like I'm just having one because they're getting one anyway.... Does this make me a bad person? I don't care, really, I'm just curious....
  • J.  Jamaica. Oh. My. Stars. Now, I don't know this for sure, but I think that Jamaica would make me very happy! Oh, yes. Very happy indeed! Perhaps Leon should take me there....
  • K.  Kool-aid. The red kind. The kind that some parents won't let their kids have because it makes them wild. Mine are wild anyway, so what the heck, and it's nice to have an excuse other than "bad parenting" every now and then.
  • L.  Laughing. I laughed a lot this evening. I hit myself in the face with the raquetball today. Not once, but twice. The side of the head and the kisser. I laughed until I darned near peed my pants. Then we laughed through dinner. Laughed at Asia's horrified expression as I made a sex comment to her Dad right in front of her.  Me and Cassie laughed while I screwed up reading with her. We laughed when Leon made an ass out of me tonight. Laughing is good, people. It's bringing Happy back.
  • M.  Middle child. Cassie. My happy child. My loving child. The one who gets lost in between the drama queen and the monkey fart.
  • N.  Numb.  This is what I have felt for the past couple of years. Sad and pathetic, isn't it?
  • O.  Open. Yup. I'm an open book. Too bad Leon can't read.... lol  (Oh, I'm so going to be in trouble for that one!)
  • P.  Pee. Yes. You read that right. I can't jump on trampolines anymore. I can't cough or sneeze without being fully prepared in "the stance".  I'm no longer ashamed, for I know I'm not alone.... 
  • Q.  Quiet. I hate quiet. Nothing makes me wiggy like silence. I laughed through our wedding rehearsal. I get itchy during romantic dinners. I. Just. Can't. Do. It.
  • R.  Reading.  I love to read. Blogging has taken over much of that time, but I still love it!
  • S.  Singing and Soccer. I will belt it out all day long if I could!  I'm a transcriptionist, with the little headphones in, and I still have music playing!  These days I'm singing (if you can call it that) Mama Mia CONSTANTLY!! And I love playing soccer, watching soccer, whatever I can. People think it's terrible to have soccer six days a week between three people, but, for now anyway, I couldn't be happier about it!
  • T.  TV. Nothing quite beats CSI or Cold Case or Criminal Minds!  I will even watch them over blogging!!! Yup. You read that right!
  • U. Unsure. I'm not a very confident person. I second guess myself all the time and would sooner hide than go and talk to someone that I haven't seen in a while. They probably wouldn't remember me. Or they'll just walk away talking about how much weight I've gained. Or that my personality is a dull as drying paint. That would suck, so I choose avoidance where I can.
  • V.  Vasectomy. I think that someone in my house should have this fine procedure done. There are five of us. Four of us are girls. So, by process of elimination.....
  • W. Weight. My weight picks at me. It bugs me. It depresses me. Yet, apart from being active where I can, I don't seem to have the gumption to do anything about it. Note to self, and to Leon, love me anyway. For me to be skinny I'd have to live on celery and tuna, and I'd be miserable. I might as well be miserable and enjoy what I eat! 
  • X.  Xylophone.  When I was in elementary, I kicked butt at those percussion style instruments!  And I loved to play them!
  • Y. Young'un.  My youngest daughter. Oh, so sweet and happy all the time ... except when she's not. She's my nutball monkey fart.
  • Z.  Zilch. I got nuthing for Z.
Well, trust me, that was way harder that it looked!!! Wow!  Give it a go sometime! 

I Find Myself Wondering .....

... what to say on a day when there is just nothing. 

I think I have a couple of awards out there that I haven't "officially" accepted.

I've been tagged for a couple of meme's, but, darn! I just cleaned out my purse and didn't have my camera handy. I don't think mine would be as interesting as Jill's anyway!

I could talk about work and share funny stories like Amy, but seriously, I've got NUTHIN' there!

I could start something crazy like Carrie and end up being all that and a box of Harry and David's!

Perhaps start a travel blog like Ronda? Hmmm, I'd probably have to be well travelled, or at least somewhat knowledgeable to do something like that....

Maybe I should do a whole lot of homework and tell you about the place I live, like Betty did? And, boy, did she wow us!! What a fabulous job she did!

Lastly, should I be testy and start a debate? Make you think? FORCE you to comment? Like Blogstalker does? (Ha, just kidding!)

So, what do you think? On a day I've just got nothing, do you need me to wrack my poor little brain to come up with something to entertain you? Will I lose you if I show neglect for a couple of days? Will you even notice if I don't post one day? Do you follow so many that you can't keep up anyway?

I'd love your insight.... 

And I'll let you know that for tomorrow, I will be doing something for every letter of the alphabet. All 24 of them. Right Jill? lol

A Fabulous Vacuum Giveaway by the SITS gals!!

Isn't this great??? They're giving away a vacuum. (To me!) You should head on over there anyway and enter (even though I'm going to win it). 

But it can't hurt to give it a try! You never know. Maybe they have two vacuum cleaners and they'll give YOU one too!

Ronda's Bloggy Book Club - The Shack!

If you have not yet read The Shack, you may not want to read today's post!

We are talking today about "The Shack". If you want to join in, head on over to Ronda's Rants and leave a comment leading her to your post! It should be a fabulous book club day today!!

I have been so anxious to talk about this book! And now the day has come and I could not be LESS prepared! Oi!

I loved the book. Loved it.

However, I didn't always love it.

The beginning was a heart breaker. Absolute heart breaker. It is every parent's nightmare, and was very hard to read.

I had a problem with him getting a note from God. A real honest to goodness note, in his hand. That was weird for this literal person who struggles already with "faith".

And then when God showed up as a big ol' Jamaican woman who loves to cook, well, then it seriously lost me for a little while.

I did get back into it in bits and pieces through the next little bit. Like every time he got really angry over his daughter, and "Where were you then??" I got that part. In spades. I wanted to know the very same thing!

But when he went into the cave and met Sophia (sorry, I read the book a little while ago and don't remember names) that really shook me. It put things into a whole other perspective. I am thankful for that view on the situation, and if I keep nothing else in my little brain when it comes to that story, I do want that to stay in my subconscious somewhere, to be brought out whenever I need it!

I loved that he got to see her again, if only briefly. And that the other kids got to also. Those pages were left pretty soaked with tears!!!

And I loved that he got to bring her wee little self home.

Thanks Ronda, for letting me share my opinion on this book. I am definitely passing it on to at least a couple of people who have asked to read it. And I look forward to hearing their opinions!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fabulous Fenomenal Foto Fiesta Friday

Thanks for joining me today on this delightful Fiesta Friday Fotos and I think Fabulous is one of the words, and Fenomenal, and sometimes Freaky. You should probably head over to Carrie's to clarify that.

I have a few pictures today, but it is just a short read. 

I would like to introduce you to my Asia and our friend's Christopher. These two have been friends for a long time. In fact, Asia is four months Christopher's senior and was his first hospital visitor after he was born.  I can't even begin to tell you what these two, and their friendship, do to my heart.

Asia's first birthday party.  Two little best friends covered in cake.
At my 23rd birthday. They were 2 here.

Fast forward a million years. They are still best friends.
They even shop together! And laugh when they try on silly hats and when Christopher tries on "skinnies"!
And they are pretty much crazy together.
And so comfortable together. The moms are hoping they don't end up trying to have a "relationship" (at least not yet, while they're young) and lose the friendship along the way. That would truly suck.
Having fun at camp together.
He is such a good, nice, respectful young man. Some girl is going to be very lucky one day.
Dressing up for the "Hairspray Party" at church.

I wish I could find more of the 'in between' pictures, but it's late, and I'm knackered! I can tell you, though, that they have seen almost every milestone through together...

And that means something.

Thanks for coming to my place. Now off you go to Carrie's for more!

Dear Stupid Self-Important Jerk Off

My post, it seems, was hijacked by drunken sailors! Seriously, I have never heard so much vulgar language before. You may want to reconsider coming over to play today...

Dear Stupid Self-Important Jerk Off:

Thank you for your letter in regard to the ambulance bill I never should have received for ambulance services I never wanted and refused four times.

I realize that the EMS has an obligation and a job to perform. I also know that I have a right to refuse medical care. Which I did. Four times. I repeat, again, four times.

Perhaps I haven't made that clear enough for you.

If someone comes to your door on the recommendation of a neighbour, Mr. Self-Important Jerk Off, to do your lawn care, but you refuse and say you don't have the money this year, your lawn is looking fine, and you aren't interested, yet they go ahead and perform the service anyway, would you expect to be harassed over paying this bill?

I think not, you stupid fuck.

This is a frigging joke and you know it!

Consider this your very own personal Fuck You, and I sincerely hope that every aspect of your life from here on is miserable and that in every situation you find yourself you never receive any help or support from anybody. Nothing would make me happier.

This asinine decision of yours leads me to wonder whose lips are snugly wrapped around your nether region? What other reason could there possibly be for such stupidity?

I'm very happy that you consider this matter closed, Mr. Self Important Jerk Off, because so do I.

As a side note for my fabulous readers who stuck around today, some of which, I think, are lawyers, take a look at the following picture.

This is how I fully intend on sending the cheque, IF I decide to pay it. Does anyone know if I could get into trouble (is hate mail illegal?) for sending it and / or the letter above? Because it would make me feel Oh. So. Good. to send it.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

High School Musical - Starring Rhonda & Leon

Kudos to my awesome friend Tammy, who sent this to me!  It takes a minute to load, but it is worth it!  I think you'll know which two people don't belong like the others....

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Thanks Tam!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Wordful Wednesday

Two Things that set my girl apart....

... from others her age...

First off, she is probably the only little person in kindergarten who doesn't know how to write her ABC's and 123's, but can sing every Hannah Montana song and knows all three of the Jonah's Brothers. And she thinks they're hot!

Second thing was reinforced on the way home from the gym today. 

"Mom, what are we having for supper?" Liv asked.

"Chicken, and probably potatoes and maybe some creamed corn?" I responded.

"How about some of that green stuff?" she asked.

"What, peas?"

"No! That yummy green stuff!"

"Green beans?" I tried again.

"No Mommy!  That green stuff that we love!" She is getting frustrated at this point.

But now it all makes sense to me.

"You mean, spinach??"


You betcha, folks.  My little one loves spinach. And I'm not talking about your average spinach salad with mandarin pieces and strawberries and sweet dressing. No sir'eee.

My little darling loves COOKED spinach! Like Popeye! 

(Wow. Did I spell Popeye right? 'Cause spelled that way, it's more the thing that nightmares are made of... not childhood strong men!)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Being Leon

I told you about my second date with Leon not long ago. It was definitely a memorable and frightening night!

Leon, as you may have guessed, is a flight-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy with a whole lot of "hmmm, I didn't think of that" mixed in. Makes for an interesting combination many times.

It also gives me many opportunities to shake my head and laugh at him. Which is a bonus because I love to laugh. And what's even better, is that I love to laugh at him!

There was the time he went to put Christmas lights on our 2-story house on the coldest and most slippery day of the year. Without a safety harness of any kind. Right from the top of the house, he slipped and did his best running-man-cat-trying-to-claw-its-way-out-of-the-tub impression. Although his reenactment later that day was a hoot, I would have given anything to see it in person!

Poor old guy.
Leon, I mean.

Another in particular is coming to mind. 

We went quadding with our friends. There were four of us. There was one quad. So off we went for the day, with a cooler of snacks, our winter gear, and our one quad.

We had a great day. We had a fire, and took turns going for rides. Finally at the end of the day, Leon noticed his gas gauge.

It was registering below empty and settled firmly on "fumes".

We were a long way from the truck.

Through farmer's fields.

Over the frozen river.

A long, long way.

In the cold.

We knew we had one shot to get us all home. And I wish to God that we had a camera that day.

You know the intro to the Beverly Hillbillies? Well, fast forward, if you wish, to 25 seconds in. Now, I could have sworn Granny was sitting on top of the rocking chair, but You Tube doesn't lie, so I must be wrong. But, shhhhh, don't tell anyone I said that!

That was us.

I was on the handlebars with the cooler on my lap. Lynne, I think was sitting on Leon. Diniz was sprawled across the back with the rest of our stuff piled on him.

And we drove very, very carefully, and somewhat painfully, back to the truck.

But we made it.

And then we sold the darned thing.

Happy Monday!

I know I usually post some funnies on Monday mornings. However, this morning I want to keep it real. I've got a funny of my own for today.

First off, though, I want to thank you guys for putting up with my downer on Saturday! And thank you so much to everyone who commented and offered their support and love and prayers! I really feel like I've made some friends here! I am totally overwhelmed by the community of blogging. People who don't blog truly don't know what they are missing! 

Now, on with the show.

I told you last week about my antics on the ski hill.  I also told you there were two stories on that weekend. What follows, is the second.

Jody and I were heading up the chair lift. (What is it with the combination of chair lifts and young imaginations??? Sheesh!)  The darned chair lift would stop at the same place every frigging time up!!! So, we joked that we should just jump and save ourselves some time! It was very close to the top, and was probably about 10 feet down only, into a snow bank.  Haha, we laughed.

Then the next time up, it stopped again.  And we sat. And we sat. And we sat.  And finally I said, lets do it! Jody promised that if I went first then she would follow. Okay.

Down I went. My ski came off, but I quickly put it back on and looked up to encourage Jody. She wouldn't jump! She chickened out! 

There I was about 50 feet away from the top of that hill, with the attendant looking at me angrily! There was NO WAY I was going to walk all the way up there and face him!

So I proceeded to V-walk my way out of the mess that I was in.

The only problem was that we hadn't noticed on our multiple times up that chair lift that the run was closed. I was stuck on a run that had almost no snow. Now what?

I cried and crawled and half skied wherever I could.  Walked down parts. Finally I joined up with a real run with snow, a black diamond of all things, and managed to get my sorry self down the hill, much the same way I did the snowless route.  Crying and crawling. And at some point, I probably peed my snowsuit out of fear!  

And then I went back up again in hopes of avoiding Jody.  I was SO MAD! Furious in fact! I skied by myself all day, but joined the family in the chalet for supper and would barely look at her.

Apparently she got in heck from the attendant when she got to the top. She told him that we were swinging it and I just fell out! He knew she was lying and said that if we did anything like that again, that we would be kicked off the mountain!!!

I was incredibly happy that she got in trouble.  She was a very good girl and rarely did anything wrong.  For her it was probably comparable to my ordeal! I was thrilled that she got in heck! lol  It was only fair after all!

Have a great Monday!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The End Of My Rope...

I've had a bit of a rough year.  Rough by my standards.  I have made blog friends who have truly had some troubling times, and I don't even pretend to think that I've got it so bad. No one in my family is battling cancer, or infertility, unemployment or bankruptcy. 

Today is just me taking a moment to complain and to worry. To have about 17 different emotions all wrapped up in one great big self.

Leon was doing his thing for a few years, trying to get into the Fire Department. In February we said good-bye to money and hello to Happy Leon. It was a great trade off, or one that I know deep down will eventually be great. But financially? Yup. It sucks.

In April I was hit by a car while riding my bike home from work. I stood on the corner and waited for the light, made eye contact, and proceeded across the street in the crosswalk. I noticed the guy I was certain I had made eye contact with still a'comin, and turned to look at him.  He was turning right and looking out his window at the oncoming traffic for an opening to go. It was at that point I knew that if he saw a break in traffic, then I would be hit. I had just gotten started, uphill, in a hard gear, so there was no way I could move fast enough. And suddenly I was flying through the air, and landed about 10 feet away in the lane of oncoming traffic, right in front of the bus he was trying to beat. 

Several witnesses stopped to offer to call an ambulance. The driver offered to call one. I declined. I wasn't hurt, short of my ass and hand, and seriously just wanted to go home, but my bike was toasted. Another witness came up and said "An ambulance is on its way."  I asked him to please cancel it, I was fine, besides I had no insurance and couldn't pay for it.  He refused to cancel it. The ambulance attendants came up to me, and I put up my hands and said "It's okay, I'm fine. I'm okay!" They, of course, saw the opportunity to totally screw someone over, and said that they would still just like to check me over if I didn't mind. I did mind. But at this point, I was just wanting to go home so badly and was not thinking clearly and followed them.

The police told the guy that hit me that it would be really nice of him to pay for the repairs for my bike, as he had agreed, but that he didn't have to.  Car insurance would be on his side because I got on my bike to ride across the street. Isn't that nice? 

And wouldn't you know that I got a bill for $250, over and above the $150 my bike cost me (the guy that hit me didn't pay it), because they checked my blood pressure? I was floored. I wrote them and said that I refused their services four times and had no intention of paying this bill.  They took advantage of the situation, and could clearly see that I was fine.

So they sent the matter to collections.  I sent them a letter and explained very politely what happened.  I asked if they were provided with services that they had refused four times, but the company went ahead and provided the service anyway, would they expect to have to pay?  I think not.

So now this "matter" is on its way to court. I have had visions of the court room battle and the judge siding with the city, because really, the "justice" system is just as corrupt as politics and the judge is clearly bending over for someone and will make me pay.

I then, in my little dream, ask the judge if freedom of speech applies in his court room. When he says yes, then I say "Good, because I think you are a stupid asshole with your lips wrapped snugly around someone's ......"

Then I write the City of Edmonton (AKA see what I said to the judge above) a cheque made out to "The Stupid Effin (insert proper word there) City of Edmonton" with the amount being "$250 more than their worth". 

And then I proceed to blog about the stupid asses that make up our stupid ass government until I get arrested.

Doesn't that sound like fun?  

But then I factored in that I may lose some of you. So I won't blog about them daily. Not for long, anyway.

Then there is the fact that I hate my job. Yup. Huge factor.

There is the fact that I have worked multiple jobs for three years now and have hit a major burn out. And don't have a single red penny to my name.  This could be why my hair is now the colour of a shiny new penny.  At least now I feel like I'm worth SOMETHING! And now I'm down to one job. It's going to be a long hard winter at our house this year.

Last, is the ordeal of raising an angry, physically aggressive, mean and irrational teenage daughter. I know what you are all thinking. They are all like that. I'm sure some are. But this one is different.  I remember being a teenager. I remember being mean and irrational and angry and self-pitying sometimes.  Mine is like that ALWAYS! I'm at my end. And today, I totally lost it. If I could have caught her, she would have been a dead, angry, irrational, mean teenager. I was THAT angry. I even threatened, and would seriously consider, foster care. I don't know how much more of her this family can handle.  She told me that she has planned to kill herself four times. I responded, totally emotionlessly with, "Yeah, what teenage girl HASN'T???" She tells me that she has even cut her wrists and pushes her wrist into my face. My family has experienced suicide before, so really, shouldn't I feel SOMETHING at this point? 

I think I need a little padded room. And crazy person drugs. Lots of them. 

Okay. I'm done.  For those of you who hung around, thank you for "listening". But I'm glad today's tirade happened on a Saturday, when I think many of you take time off blogging. 

I'll try not to do this often.

I do hope your weekend is going well, and that if you are raising teenagers yourselves, that you are doing a better job than I am.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Foto Fiesta with Candid Carrie!!!!!!

Do you want to play along with Carrie?  Go and pay her a visit. She's, like, way cool. She'll add you. I just know she will!

I was planning on finding the little ski bunny picture my mom commented about yesterday and then telling the other embarrassing skiing story, but it's late, and I just finished watching the Sex and the City movie, so I'm really feeling like I should spend a little time with my hubby.... 

Wow. Did I just totally say that? Oh God. My parents read this....

Carrying on.....

Pictured above is my hubby. For you newbies, he's the one in the front, wearing the biggest grin of them all. Naturally. He'd just married moi!

While I spent the morning at the salon and pacing around my parent's house on NO sleep, he was shopping for gonch for his boys.

Doesn't seem fair, does it?

They kept this detail hidden from us gals until the formals. The family had left. The horrible pictures were taken (see the fish bowl thing going on? Well, ALL of our pictures are like that!) and we were ready to go back to our UBER cool limo, when the boys wanted one last picture.

Suddenly they stripped off their pants and posed for this one.

And we girls grabbed their pants and ran back to the limo. Then the guys had to run through the facility we used for pictures in their matching boxers.

We totally freaked out the driver. He assured me that of all things he had seen, that one was a first. 

It was a beautiful moment!


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Welcome to another Thursday Writer's Workshop! Kat is our teacher, and class is never too full! Head on over to Mama's Losin' It and add your name to Mr. Linky's list! Pronto!

The prompt I chose today was:

Recall a time when you did something to get noticed.

Just one?

Let me set the stage for you:

The year was 1982.

The characters were the Shewchuk family, and me.

The set was a ski hill.  Somewhere.  C'mon, I was 10, cut me some slack!

Two things happened that weekend.  But I'll save the other one for another day.

First off, I am not a great skier.  I can hold my own going down a hill. Snow plow, of course. Knees bent, arms out, feet so far apart I'm practically doing the splits, tongue sticking out in concentration. Let me tell you, I am quite a site.

Keep that description in mind while you read on...

Jodi and I went to the top of the mountain. On the way up the few different chair lifts, we decided to pose as pro Australian skiers. Complete with those really cool accents.

We glide gracefully off the chair lift. I don't think anyone noticed the chair actually hit me on the ass on my way down that little slope. Nobody saw me wobble, just a bit.

There are two options here.

We take the easy route and go down the well worn path around the moguls.

Or we go straight down, flipping and flopping like little fish in between mogul mounds, feet together in perfect parallel. 

If you were a professional Australian skier, what would you do?  Well, naturally. Duh!

We stood at the top for just a moment to chat, and to make sure everyone noticed us.

And then we were off.  

Okay, well Jodi was. She flipped and flopped over and around those moguls like the pro she was pretending to be.

I only watched her for the first couple of graceful movements. The next time I saw her was when I untangled myself from the pretzel I had become. She was standing at the bottom with her weight on one leg, sideways, leaning on her pole. 

Watching me.

Waiting for me.

I crawled my way over to where my ski had landed. I cleaned the snow out of the bindings. I stood to put my boot in. 

And then I fell again.  

And again.

I. Could. Not. Get. The. Darned. Thing. On!!

So, since I'm not only a funny-looking skier, I'm also a fool, I sent my ski flying down the hill to Jodi. 

In my mind, it glides directly to her, where she is able to effortlessly stab it in the binding with her ski pole to bring it to a stop. 

In my mind, it was a beautiful moment.

It didn't quite work that way. 

It took off to the right. Waaaayyyy right. (Or wrong, depending how you look at it.)

I held my head high, stood up with one ski in hand (why I didn't just carry BOTH down the hill, I will never know) and my poles in the other, and prepared to walk down the hill.

Enter stage left:  A man that has NEVER in his life been a kid, nor done anything wrong. Ever. He proceeded to give this amazing professional skier, with no more delightful accent, heck. What I did was incredibly unsafe, not to mention stupid.

Hmmm.  Well, sir. I believe you just did mention it, now didn't you?

Lucky for me, and his woulda' been whooped ass, I was a terribly shy little kid. I mumbled sorry and continued down the hill.

If my aim was to be noticed, then I did it in spades.

As for Jodi? I don't think a single person noticed her.

Rhonda: 1 

Jodi: zip

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Wordful Wednesday hosted by Angie

Of all things I love to photograph, I think attitude is my favorite! Take a look...

My delightful four year old with her sister's fourteen year old attitude!
My hubby gets photo credit for this one!

Kids being kids!

A soccer pal posing for my husband.... I suppose I should amend this!  I recommended a boob shot for my husband, and I took the picture with him in mind!  No, really! lol  But, then, he's a fireman, and girls will do just about anything for a fireman!  lol

She had had just about enough of me!  lol

I see a lot of her mother in the last one!!  lol

Because I'm just too tired to be original....

This one requires no words! Just mega-laughter and rolling eyes! Poor little bunny.

This is an absolute JAW-DROPPER! This guy is a loser! Although I do agree with his view on the whole "purchasing sex" thing, there is the fact that women now work during the day and still take on everything that stay-home moms do also. That's two, count em two, jobs. And one of those (mom) being 24/7. While he thinks that men should just continue on being men. That leaves, ummm, no time for wifely responsibilities! Gawd! Jerk. And I really must point out, that my hubby has been so much more helpful around the house! He is scraping toilets and doing laundry and cleaning floors. And all this without being "rewarded"! And, in turn, I take out garbage and have been seen (and laughed at) up on our roof shingling. I have shoveled snow and mowed lawns. Admittedly not as much as he has, but outdoor crap doesn't need to get done daily like house/parenting crap.
Seriously guy, get over yourself! Imagine when HE'S got a man cold?

Now this I find absolutely pathetic!!! Here is this poor woman who probably shattered a couple of vertebrae and what is her shining moment? Her panties. Get a grip!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Four Boyfriends

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, will I be a alone.'

Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? 'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold .

She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:

Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.

Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

I'm off enjoying my Thanksgiving weekend. I'll be back tomorrow for some normalcy!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Am Woman - Watch Me Vote!

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.
Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenceless, but they were jailed
nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking
for the vote.
(Lucy Burns)

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'

They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)

They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating,choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists

imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.
(Alice Paul)

When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited.

She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because-why, exactly?

We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

"Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.'

It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too.

When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry.. She was--with herself.

'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote,she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD. I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order."

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote right, left or independent party – remember to vote.

Taken from an email I received this morning.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Just A Random Thought

  1. Many of our geniuses suffered from mental illnesses.  Was this the case with the person who thought to eat whatever was inside the thing that came out of the chicken's ass?
Just curious.

Side note:
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!
Happy Birthday Tammy!!


Thursday, October 09, 2008


Happy Friday everyone!  Wahoooooo!

This photo is definitely worth a click to get the full effect of their expressions!  I love this one. It was taken by one of those computer photo dealies at the top of the Drop of Doom or some such thing at our local West Edmonton Mall.  I don't know if it is known throughout America or if it is more popular just here in Canada. Regardless, it is a whole lot more fun than it used to be. I remember when I was a kid, my parents would say we were going to that mall, and we would complain bitterly! It had nothing. but. clothes. Ick. I know, I'm an embarrassment to the female race, but I truly hate to shop. HATE IT! Now, the kids faces light up when we say we are going there. Which isn't often, but .....

Wow. Sorry. I was really rambling. No worries. I'm done.

Now get this.  I have a whole weekend ahead of me. With no work to do. Which is a good thing. Because there just wouldn't be any time.  

We are off to party with friends on Saturday night, Thanksgiving dinner at Mom's Sunday and Leon's family on Monday. And I'm not taking my camera.  Tee hee!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!  

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Wordful Wednesday - Amber Alert

My intent today was to post a picture of a 7 year old little girl.
After I blurred out her face.
Does that make sense to you?
Probably not.
I was unable to make her unrecognizable, so I decided to introduce to you this little girl's father. It is also a powerful photo.

We had an Amber Alert on the weekend. You may be asking "Why, then, dear Rhonda, are you not posting a photo of the little girl?"

Well, this story has a heart-wrenching beginning, disgusting middle, and happy ending.

This suspect (for the remainder of this story we'll just be calling him "Real Sick F*#k", okay?) went to the neighbourhood playground and called a little girl over to his jeep. He told the little girl that he had kittens for sale, and would she like to see them? Her brothers saw her climb into the jeep and ran over to try to stop her, but they were too late. They got there in time to bang on the windows. A neighbour got part of the license plate. The children ran home to tell their mother.

And every parent's nightmare begins.

"Real Sick F*#k" had this little 7 year old girl for almost four hours. In this time, he drugged her and raped her. Then he left her at a hotel an hour out of town with some money and a note requesting that she get home safely.

Does paying the little girl, somehow in his warped little brain, make this okay? I'm disgusted by the whole thing, but that one detail has me a little stumped. And you know what? Even drugged, this little girl probably smiled and said thank you when he gave it to her. They are so, so innocent.

And I'm actually thankful that he drugged her first. Hopefully that made the ordeal a little easier on her. As easy as it can be, anyway.

So, we do have a happy ending. Anastasia safely made it home. And that is the reason I am not posting her photo. I realize it is still on line. But because she is a minor and they have announced that she was sexually abused, her name and photo will no longer be published.

"Daniel Todd Gratton (aka Real Sick F*#k), 44, was arrested without incident Monday morning at an Edmonton residence. He was also charged with sexual interference and administering a noxious substance."

He was also on parole for past crimes against children. He raped one 70 times in a 6 month period. Then he moved into a condominium complex, surrounded himself with kids, and no one knew he was there. What on earth was a pedophile doing living so near children? This part, anyway, is a definite system failure.

And yes, I know he could have done it anyway, any time, any place. But, really, this is like me going into a 7-11 daily and not buy a slurpee. Helllooooo? Not friggin' likely.

Only a few days earlier, a 14 year old was killed in broad daylight just steps from her home. That family would, obviously, give anything for this happy ending. They are still looking for her killer.

What on earth is this world coming to??

We are all keeping our children a little closer these days.
I've left a note in comments that is worth thinking about (I believe it is comment number 20), and also would like to add that Real Sick F*#k is also now charged with raping (molest is not a strong enough word, I don't care what anyone says) another little girl on Friday, just two days before, with the promise of ice cream as a lure.

for more
Wordful Wednesdays!!

I am so, so sorry.

Okay, so it has actually happened.  

I have run dry.

I cannot think of a single thing to tell you.  

There is no funny story picking at my brain just a dyin' to be told.

You've heard my embarrassing stories.

I've introduced you to my family.

You remember when I tried to kill my brother.

You visited during destination Camp Candid Carrie.

I got tagged, but no one stayed to play. This one may be new to you.

Looking back, I notice how much my writing style has changed. Zero comments the first time this picture was posted.  It was since posted on a Candid Carrie Friday, and it got 21!!   Wow! 

I'm so happy to know you all!

It's Wordful Wednesday tomorrow.  Are you ready?

Monday, October 06, 2008

Monday Madness!!! No, really! It was crazy! So this is all you get from me today. Pictures will come soon.

Hahahaha. Somebody deserves to get hurt for writing these. :-) But I do love the LSD one...

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, 'F..k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!'

A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, 'I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, please pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'

Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'

Woman's Creed

Live your life in such a way that

when your feet hit the floor in the morning,

Satan shudders & says...

"Oh SHIT! She's awake!!!

After 5 years of heated debate, the Commission of Human
Rights approved the new International Symbol of Marriage.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Foto Fiesta with Candid Carrie!!!!!!

So, here we are again welcoming another delightful Friday.  I hope yours is as beautiful as ours promises to be!  Now on with the show:

I have been informed that I have gotten a little too serious lately. Too sad. Maybe too melodramatic.  I have to tell you, though, that while yesterday definitely had some negatives, I had a hoot writing it and actually thought it was quite funny.  The internet is not ALL good, so then neither was my poem.

So today I am bringing you some of the fun that I truly like to write about.

My life.  And Leon's misfortune.

What we have here are medications that you should not combine within a 30 minute window. Another good rule to follow is to only allow one person to do the medicating!  Let me explain.

Leon was very sick with a head/chest cold not long after we had our Olivia.  Let's all remember this whole 'just had a baby' thing as we read through this okay? I'm not all bad. Not really.

So, I'm doing the usual broken sleep/feeding baby, and managing quite well. Adrenaline takes us through what needs to be done. For baby. Not for anyone else. 

Leon was coughing all night, so when I got up with Liv in the middle of the night, I made him some Neocitran and grabbed some Tylenol cold tabs on my way back to bed. (Actually, let's take this opportunity to point out that the bedrooms were upstairs and I had to make a special trip downstairs to get this for him.)

I nudged Leon and told him to take some medicine.  He told me that he just took something. I didn't hear him get up, so for all I know, he could be talking about before he went to bed. I'm not TRYING to kill him. Seriously! He had no life insurance at the time. He was of much better use to me alive.

So I convinced him that it's okay. Take the drugs and boot this thing out of his system, right? Hmmmm.  And, being all proud of the wonderful wife that I am, I then fell fast asleep.

I was awakened by a thump. I slide my hand over, and Leon is no longer in bed. So I haul myself up YET AGAIN, to now check on my husband, who is fast asleep on the floor. 

This is where the internal struggle began.

Do I just leave him there? He truly looked so peaceful. Sort of like when he passed out when we were having Cassie, only then, I truly thought he was dead. He's such a spotlight stealer.

I digress.

I proceeded to nudge him with my toe. He will tell you that I kicked him, but he was unconscious, so really, what does he know?  I NUDGED him again, and said "Hey, you loser, get back into bed!"

Leon groaned.

I nudged him again and told him to get his butt back into bed.

So he hauled himself up onto his knees and laid his head on the bed. Still groaning. Now he's saying, "Something's wrong. I feel funny. Something's wrong."

I went back to bed. But, to my credit, I did ask him if he wanted me to take him to the hospital.


Then, "I feel funny. Something's wrong."

"Well, wake me up if you want me to take you. Snore."

I know. You're all judging me right now. But, seriously, what man isn't a wuss when he's sick? I think we, as women, are generally out of sympathy by around the second head cold of any relationship. We learn fast. That is where my thought process was taking me. Oh, for the love of all that is holy, suck it up. 

Little did I know at the time, that poor Leon, who has had two alcoholic beverages IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE, and no drugs to speak of at all, was high. And a little drunk on Neocitran and cough syrup.  He was probably having trouble functioning at that point, but I was fast asleep, so I can't tell you for sure.

We discovered in the morning that he had, in fact, gotten out of bed while I was with Olivia, and took some medicine. So he was triple dosed. 

When he fell out of bed, he had actually sat up, and then fell out of bed head-first (which paves the way for MANY comments, and I welcome every one of them) which explained why his head was at the foot of the bed, on the floor. 

And me without my video camera.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Before the internet ......

Before the internet was thunk
I'd grab my kids and dance.
I'd stop to change a diaper that stunk
Quiet the rowdies with just a glance.

Before the internet was the rage
I'd take walks with other moms.
I'd read a book, page by page,
And look quite good in thongs.

Before the internet was hot
I'd sleep at night with hubby.
I'd take the time to clean up snot
and hands and faces that were grubby.

Before the internet was mine
I'd talk and laugh with friends.
I was lookin' good and feelin' fine
And was quite proud of my rear end.

Before the internet was my life
I'd go spinning and lifting weights.
I was a playful mom and awesome wife
And it was good. No.  It was great!

But alas I love the internet
And love to blog so dearly.
Wash the floor? Why? Just get it wet
And dusting is done yearly.

I used to have to leave my home,
To do banking, pay the bills.
Now from my desk, the stores I roam
Develop pictures, legalize wills.

Why play with kids, they're doing fine.
Where are they now? Who knows.
All is quiet, I hear no whine,
But their lack of parenting shows.

But that's okay, blog friends will say,
For we all have each other.
We give support in our own way,
Laugh and cry with one another.

Since the internet was born,
I've developed special friendships.
Although from some I feel the scorn
I really do believe this.

And yes I know that Mama Kat
Could really be a man.
But, see, I'm totally okay with that,
I'm definitely still a fan.

So that's my life before and aft
The computer was my centre.
And blogging is my art, my craft,
The margarita in my blender.

So come on over, meet the crew
We'll have a drink, on me.
Kat's kids will make the stew,
And we'll make blogging history.