My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Welcome to another Thursday Writer's Workshop! Kat is our teacher, and class is never too full! Head on over to Mama's Losin' It and add your name to Mr. Linky's list! Pronto!

The prompt I chose today was:

Recall a time when you did something to get noticed.

Just one?

Let me set the stage for you:

The year was 1982.

The characters were the Shewchuk family, and me.

The set was a ski hill.  Somewhere.  C'mon, I was 10, cut me some slack!

Two things happened that weekend.  But I'll save the other one for another day.

First off, I am not a great skier.  I can hold my own going down a hill. Snow plow, of course. Knees bent, arms out, feet so far apart I'm practically doing the splits, tongue sticking out in concentration. Let me tell you, I am quite a site.

Keep that description in mind while you read on...

Jodi and I went to the top of the mountain. On the way up the few different chair lifts, we decided to pose as pro Australian skiers. Complete with those really cool accents.

We glide gracefully off the chair lift. I don't think anyone noticed the chair actually hit me on the ass on my way down that little slope. Nobody saw me wobble, just a bit.

There are two options here.

We take the easy route and go down the well worn path around the moguls.

Or we go straight down, flipping and flopping like little fish in between mogul mounds, feet together in perfect parallel. 

If you were a professional Australian skier, what would you do?  Well, naturally. Duh!

We stood at the top for just a moment to chat, and to make sure everyone noticed us.

And then we were off.  

Okay, well Jodi was. She flipped and flopped over and around those moguls like the pro she was pretending to be.

I only watched her for the first couple of graceful movements. The next time I saw her was when I untangled myself from the pretzel I had become. She was standing at the bottom with her weight on one leg, sideways, leaning on her pole. 

Watching me.

Waiting for me.

I crawled my way over to where my ski had landed. I cleaned the snow out of the bindings. I stood to put my boot in. 

And then I fell again.  

And again.

I. Could. Not. Get. The. Darned. Thing. On!!

So, since I'm not only a funny-looking skier, I'm also a fool, I sent my ski flying down the hill to Jodi. 

In my mind, it glides directly to her, where she is able to effortlessly stab it in the binding with her ski pole to bring it to a stop. 

In my mind, it was a beautiful moment.

It didn't quite work that way. 

It took off to the right. Waaaayyyy right. (Or wrong, depending how you look at it.)

I held my head high, stood up with one ski in hand (why I didn't just carry BOTH down the hill, I will never know) and my poles in the other, and prepared to walk down the hill.

Enter stage left:  A man that has NEVER in his life been a kid, nor done anything wrong. Ever. He proceeded to give this amazing professional skier, with no more delightful accent, heck. What I did was incredibly unsafe, not to mention stupid.

Hmmm.  Well, sir. I believe you just did mention it, now didn't you?

Lucky for me, and his woulda' been whooped ass, I was a terribly shy little kid. I mumbled sorry and continued down the hill.

If my aim was to be noticed, then I did it in spades.

As for Jodi? I don't think a single person noticed her.

Rhonda: 1 

Jodi: zip


Mamahut said...

That sounds a lot like allll of my skiing trips. I lost count of how many times I got to ride the sled thingy with the hawt guy's pulling it...

.:Bree:. said...

oh, skiing + me = you! lol I never went skiing for that reason. Snowboarding once. I'm sure my boyfriend at the time enjoyed watching me fall.


the whole way down.


But for some reason, I loved it!

Thanks for sharing your story. I got a great laugh!

Michelle said...

LOL! That was too funny! I could have written about being removed from the mountain in a basket!!!

Weeksie50 said...

lol- that is to funny..
I have never been skiing..
while I would love to go and stay at a ski resort, I think I would just rather be a spectator..

Do you still ski?

DysFUNctional Mom said...

ROFL! You poor uncoordinated thing. I've never skiied, but that's probably what I'd look like if I tried. I'm a total klutz!

careysue said...

Thank you for starting my day off with a your expense of course!!!

Great story! I love memories like that.

Ronda's Rants said...

I don't know how to snow ski or water ski for that matter! Both my sisters are good...Like climbing all over peoples shoulders good...I have a very humbling story I could tell but even at 50...I am not ready to talk about it! I admire your bravery!

Katy Lin :) said...

lol! i can picture this exactly - reminds me of the time i went skiing with my much older, much cooler, much more experienced cousins :) great descriptions!

jill jill bo bill said...

That is why I am a lodge dweller. I hate skiing. And IF i made it on the ski lift to the top without ridding my skis of the snow and they actually didn't fall off, I cried all the way down. I once went with a worse skiier than me and laughed so hard I peed my cute bunny ski suit and froze the rest of the day.

wy-not said...

Ooooh hahaha. Why didn't you call me? I'd have scanned a picture of cute little Rhonda and her snow-plow ski style. So cute. I didn't know you ever went skiing with the Shewchuks. Geeez. Where was your mother, anyway? You'd have been better off being raised in a cave by bears.

wy-not said...

I'm also laughing out loud at jill jill bo bill. That is hilarious. I also recall crying all the way down a big old mountain, cursing Rhonda's father all the way because he promised me that it was an "easy" route.

Brandy said...

I know I shouldnt laugh but I cant help it it was a little funny.

I know your prolly thinking can you ski and well the answer is no but Im sure if I did even a little I would have done that too I have crazy friends who would have thought it would be fun and said how hard can it be come on shake it off you'll be fine, and off I would have went I know I know if your friends jumped off a bridge well yeah probably cause Im sure I would have talked a few into coming along with us.

Jenni said...

THAT is why I don't ski! But thanks for the entertaining story! For another story of humiliation go read mine! Apparently I don't need a hill and a pair of skiis to get that kind of attention!

AVT Coach said...

I was so laughing. I loved it you decided to use accents!

lifegoesbyfast said...

I've never tried to ski, but I imagine it would be like that! Good story.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Precisely why I have never gone skiing. :)

Mama's Losin' It said...

ps Please tell me my kids are not going to turn into crazy irrational mean teenagers. Please.