My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

Please be advised that you are entering my blog.
My blog.
The opinions herein are mine.
I am free to rant and vent to my heart's content.
If you find yourself mentioned here, then you've made quite an impression on me.
Feel free to read on if you would like to know if that impression is good, bad or ugly.
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Regardless of the option you choose, I hope you have a fabulous day!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Humiliation is good for the soul. No, really.

I was trying to figure out what to write about that would catch the attention of all (3 or 4) of you.

I considered a child birth story.

I tossed around the idea of a love story, like Heather and Carrie. (Would you call Carrie's latest series a love story? Probably not.)

Maybe, then, some of my most embarrassing moments? (Mom, we're not going to let Dad get ahold of this blog entry, are we??) If someone can truly laugh out loud at themselves, then they are surely well adjusted, right?

Nope. However, I shall share anyway.

There were many stupid moments in my life.

1.  The time I actually thought I could run over a soccer ball on my bike. You know, like a speed bump. It. Didn't. Work. I fell. It hurt. On the up-side though, my brothers, who kicked the ball at me in the first place, totally got heck over it. I got to watch. When all else fails, make someone else feel even worse. It is very satisfying.

2.  How about when I was so totally over the moon for Murray Sparrow that I copied him when he dove into our pool. He dove into the shallow end. It turns out I can't do that. I went straight down. My nose hurt. My pride hurt. I bled. But I think he put his arm around me to lead me over to the chair. That was sweet.

3.  That same visit, he asked Matt to go get him some warm salt water. I followed Matt and made a glass for myself. After all, if that fine looking specimen is going to drink this crap, well then, so shall I! I came down the stairs with my glass and proceeded to drink it. I gagged. My nose wrinkled. I think my eyes watered. But through the waterfall, I could see him looking at me like I had grown a third arm right out the top of my head. It turns out that he had an injury on his finger, and he needed to soak it. I. Felt. Stupid.

4.  When I was pregnant with my first, they were trying to induce me early, and had me in the hospital for the delightful gelling process. My parents came in to visit. My Dad wandered off as my mom sat by me. He came walking back in with a huge camp-style flashlight and said "Hey, what's this for?" Silence. You could see it register in my Dad's face when he realized what that was for. "Oh." he said. And he slunk quietly away. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed. Him or me.

5.  There was one time at a party when .... ummm. Nope. That one is just going to stay in the tomb where it belongs. Never to be brought up again.

6.  There would be the time my Dad walked in on me. I was young. I wasn't alone. If it means anything at all, he was truly my first love and while I would delete that one episode if I could live my life over (but Please God don't do anything so rash!) the rest would remain. I can't even allow myself to try to bring any comedy into this. It was just plain awful.

7.  The time I got piss-drunk babysitting at 13 and puked all over the place. I had to use my earnings - plus - to pay for the steam cleaning. I was grounded for a long time after that. This stunt led to the discovery of all my not-exactly-properly-purchased items I had socked away in my room. That made things even worse for me. I know. Shocking.

Now you know a little more about me. Do you feel blessed? I have been long-winded for the last few posts. I promise to keep the next ones short and sweet.

Have a fabulous weekend all!!!


KatBouska said...

This was great. Oh your poor Dad. Your. Poor. Dad.

ps I think I answered my question the same time you did. Interesting how similar our answers were!

O' CanaDad said...

Too funny! I think I remember a couple of those events. Your poor Dad! Isn't that the time he permanently removed your door from it's hinges?

Funny timing, I was just telling Bradie about the doorless room last week. I remember it being the first time I ever got a peek into Rhonda's room. It was exciting to say the least.

No worries Leon, I swear I only counted one notch on her headboard.

wy-not said...

ARGH! Today, we laugh. That day, I cried. Screamed. Yelled. Felt my heart break. In one day, that sweet little girl of mine turned into a piss-tank shop-lifter. WAAAAAH! Oh I remember it well. But hey, we survived it, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Only thing is, the one who almost died over it was your long-suffering DAD! Remember, he went out to the neighbours for supper while I was at home shrieking and throwing everything out of your room? Oh yeah. He almost lost something very precious that day! Me. LOL

Claremont First Ward said...

I'm so glad you linked to this because I think it just might be one of my favorites. Reading about others follys and be able to laugh without shame. :)

I just have a few words. You're poor dad. I can't even imagine.

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh, your stories are hilarious! It's my first time stopping by from SITS, have a great day! :)

Madison {Life Happens During Naptime} said...

Stoppin' by from SITS. I'm followin' your blog now =)

Angie said...

Wow. Oh, your dad!!! Seriously, did he take your door off? That's probably what I (as a parent) would do.

I know you said it's going to stay buried forever, but I sure would like to hear more about that one time at a party...

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