I was trying to figure out what to write about that would catch the attention of all (3 or 4) of you.
I considered a child birth story.
I tossed around the idea of a love story, like Heather and Carrie. (Would you call Carrie's latest series a love story? Probably not.)
Maybe, then, some of my most embarrassing moments? (Mom, we're not going to let Dad get ahold of this blog entry, are we??) If someone can truly laugh out loud at themselves, then they are surely well adjusted, right?
Nope. However, I shall share anyway.
There were many stupid moments in my life.
1. The time I actually thought I could run over a soccer ball on my bike. You know, like a speed bump. It. Didn't. Work. I fell. It hurt. On the up-side though, my brothers, who kicked the ball at me in the first place, totally got heck over it. I got to watch. When all else fails, make someone else feel even worse. It is very satisfying.
2. How about when I was so totally over the moon for Murray Sparrow that I copied him when he dove into our pool. He dove into the shallow end. It turns out I can't do that. I went straight down. My nose hurt. My pride hurt. I bled. But I think he put his arm around me to lead me over to the chair. That was sweet.
3. That same visit, he asked Matt to go get him some warm salt water. I followed Matt and made a glass for myself. After all, if that fine looking specimen is going to drink this crap, well then, so shall I! I came down the stairs with my glass and proceeded to drink it. I gagged. My nose wrinkled. I think my eyes watered. But through the waterfall, I could see him looking at me like I had grown a third arm right out the top of my head. It turns out that he had an injury on his finger, and he needed to soak it. I. Felt. Stupid.
4. When I was pregnant with my first, they were trying to induce me early, and had me in the hospital for the delightful gelling process. My parents came in to visit. My Dad wandered off as my mom sat by me. He came walking back in with a huge camp-style flashlight and said "Hey, what's this for?" Silence. You could see it register in my Dad's face when he realized what that was for. "Oh." he said. And he slunk quietly away. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed. Him or me.
5. There was one time at a party when .... ummm. Nope. That one is just going to stay in the tomb where it belongs. Never to be brought up again.
6. There would be the time my Dad walked in on me. I was young. I wasn't alone. If it means anything at all, he was truly my first love and while I would delete that one episode if I could live my life over (but Please God don't do anything so rash!) the rest would remain. I can't even allow myself to try to bring any comedy into this. It was just plain awful.
7. The time I got piss-drunk babysitting at 13 and puked all over the place. I had to use my earnings - plus - to pay for the steam cleaning. I was grounded for a long time after that. This stunt led to the discovery of all my not-exactly-properly-purchased items I had socked away in my room. That made things even worse for me. I know. Shocking.
Now you know a little more about me. Do you feel blessed? I have been long-winded for the last few posts. I promise to keep the next ones short and sweet.
Have a fabulous weekend all!!!
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