My Children Are My Teachers

These things I have learned from my kids:

1. Livvy's squeaky little voice is probably enough to make other people's ears bleed, but to me it fills my heart and and rocks my world!
2. No matter how hard I try to parent my kids and guide them, all they are learning from me is what they do not want to become.
3. It hurts to hear my five year old yell out "I hate you!", but it is even harder to hear her say "You don't even love me."
4. I'm too strict. I'm not fair. And I suck.
5. I always love one of my kids more than the other two. Which one that is depends on who is accusing me of it at any given moment.
6. Partnership in parenting is just as important as partnership in a marriage.
7. Having the same size feet as your daughters is not good. There go my soccer shoes.
8. Clean is great, but tidy works too.
9. Being a stay home mom is a thankless job, but it is the most important one in the whole world. I know that for certain now that I'm no longer there.
10. Their friends are stranger than mine.

What have you learned from your kids?

Random Dozen - Stolen from my friend Betty!!

1. It's early morning, about 2:00AM, and you're driving home. You come to a red light and sit there. There is no one in sight for miles around. Do you wait it out or run the light?

First I would look for a red light camera, the walk/hand light, etc ... Then I'd run that sucker!

2. If you had the chance to re-do the last 24 hours, would you change anything?

I would have mooned her back. Don't ask.

3. When you reply to someone's comment on your blog, do you reply in your comments or go to her blog and comment? (Or email her)

I'm such a horrible blogger these days. Sigh... Normally I would email, but if they have the "no reply" on, then I would comment on their blog.

4. Your favorite Disney movie is:

Oh, most definitely Mulan!!!

5. Do you recycle?

Only when my garbage can is full. We just don't have room to have blue bags and blue boxes and regular garbage bags and bottle bags going. It's insane!

6. Games of strategy or games of chance?

I totally suck at both, but prefer games of chance. I'm really not very bright and hate for people to discover that! lol

7. Do you have any recurring dreams?

I'm thin, and fit and beautiful and have tons of friends and a busy social calendar full of all things fun. And then I wake up.

8. What did you learn from your first real job?

I worked at Wendy's from 14 and stayed for a couple of years. Amin, the manager, was an ass.

9. Do you buy or borrow most books?

I beg, borrow and buy. I just love to read. In fact, if I was smart, and I was a better blogger, I could do a "What I've Read" post, but alas, I forget what I've read five minutes after I put it down.

10. What fashion trend of the past did you say you'd never wear again but did?

There are many things that I can tell you I will never wear again, such as balloon pants. Quick zips were fun, but the body that did them justice is long gone. '80s hair was totally awesome in an "I'm such a loser" way. I can tell you some things that I wish people would STOP wearing, like skinnies and plumber pants!

11. When do you start Christmas shopping?

Before Livvy came along on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas), that was my day of choice, but now it is her day, so I start sometime in October.

12. Have you ever been so happy that you literally jumped up and down for a few seconds? If so, what was the occasion?

I worked a bingo the other night, and someone I had been selling cards to all night won "the big one". I literally ran, jumping and twirling across the hall to get to her before anyone else, and calling out "Pick me! Pick me!!" Have I mentioned before that I'm a loser? Well, I am.

Thanks Betty for letting me steal your post!

That's It For Another Year....

Short and Sweet.

I had two kid's soccer games today, plus worked a bingo, then picked up kids from a movie.

I'm fatigued. lol

This is what our Halloween looked like....

Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Shoulder Checking, You Are Learning Here, My Friends!

Today I experienced a few different situations in which people COULD HAVE shoulder checked and, for that brief moment, COULD HAVE shown some thought for someone other than themselves. This is, however, a very selfish time we live in. Everyone is looking after number 1. and they think that is okay.

Well, it's not.

So, here we go:

• When participating in the rat race that is riding the train in rush hour, it would be incredibly considerate to glance behind you before you sling your purse over your should in the very packed train and try to take me out! Or you could have glanced back afterward, while uttering the standard quick, automatic, "sorry". I would have accepted that. I got neither.

• When hurrying from that train over to the parking lot, it would be really cool if you were to do a quick shoulder check before you cut over to make that quick turn, or to get into the right-hand rush of bodies. That quick look would have allowed you to see me already occupying that space.

• When you reach the doors of the above mentioned train station, perhaps you would be considerate enough to look back to see if someone is exiting directly behind you so you could hold the door. It is a gesture which takes approximately 1/4 of a second, but I understand that you are too busy for that. Next time, just turn and look, and you will see the ghost of a smile on that person's lips and a "thank you" ready on their tongue, just for you. My rule of thumb is, if there is someone less than five paces behind me, I stand for those two seconds and hold the door. It is amazing how the smile you receive from that person can lift your spirits.

• When you are walking down the sidewalk, passing by the train station, where traffic is backed up with cars needing to get out, take a quick peek behind you at the cars coming down the street. Their is a good chance, as it is murphy's law after all, that their only break in traffic for the last five minutes, will be at the precise moment that you are sauntering past. The drivers in these moments really appreciate your kindness when you notice this, and either hurry past, or stop and wave them on. I have been known to do this, and again, it is uplifting to do something unselfish for someone else. And really, that's a pretty small thing.

• Lastly, when you are looking to change lanes in traffic, pay attention to how quickly the car is coming in the lane you want to get into. If they are traveling faster than you, just let them past before you get into that lane. That is hugely annoying to someone who, while probably driving faster than the legal limit, is held back by someone who just simply isn't paying attention.

And that, my friends, is your lesson in shoulder checking. Not so hard, eh?

(I added that last bit for my American friends, who found, to their disappointment, that I didn't sound Canadian. lol)

I Made Little Lazer Beam Shooting Noises In My Head

This morning, like a good girl, I set the alarm so I could go to the gym before we start our busy day of sports, sports, sports and birthday parties.

I did yoga.

Quit laughing.

I bended and I pretzelled and I swore.

When we had to go up high on our knees, then lean back with one hand to rest it on your heel then reach up, up , up to the sky, chin up, chest open, I damned near died.

And when she said to visualize your energy right from your toes, going through your body and shooting out your fingertips to the ceiling, I actually did it. And then I made little lazer beam shooting sounds in my head.

When we had to sit with one foot crossed over the other leg, the opposite arm across your leg, another arm behind you and looking back, she was saying "Now feel the relaxation in your twisted back". The only thing i felt was P*A*I*N! Others are closing their eyes and enjoying this mother effin agony.

The water music bubbled and burbled, the birds were singing and there was the sound of a harp in the distance.

I just desperately wanted to haul out my ipod and get some Def Leppard screaming in my brain!

Perhaps yoga isn't for me.

But I'll give it another few weeks because I am NO quitter.

My Story In Pictures - SITScation Grand Finale. This is it. I promise.

Friday Night

These dudes take people all through the canal shops and right outside the hotel.

Very cool indeed.

The desserts that barely got touched. Alcohol and cheesecake have been known to not stay in my gut at the same time. I chose the alcohol. The next day though, Tiffany practically threatened our lives if we didn't polish off the hugely expensive desserts!! So I did.

Heather. She is as tiny as her voice. If you've watched their scorpion hunt videos you'll know what I'm talking about.

Saturday

Looking down at the pools from my room.

Looking down on the Tao Beach Club where Kim Kardashian's birthday party was.

The view from my room. HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously! I had to chuckle. I was so rarely in there it really didn't matter.

After Friday night, there was LOTS of this to be seen.

Sugar Jones spoke of Blogging For Good. Your inner bitch should only be an occassional visitor to your blog. SPREAD THE HAPPY THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS, PEOPLE!

AMA rep and AMA PR gal. We were each gifted a $5 Starbucks card!! Woot Woot!

Laurie Turk from Tip Junkie, and she spoke of all around general blogging tips, and ways to get your small business going and helping other small businesses.

Tiffany, wearing her apple pie.

A little person.

Dessert!

Jen spoke of not being scared to VLOG. Didn't work. Still scared over here! The web cam DOES put on another 10 pounds, doesn't it?

It was at this point in the afternoon where this Canadian girl snuck out for some sunshine.

I made friends with some awesome people in the elevator on my way there and Maryanne actually came walking around to find me 10 minutes later by one of the pools to let me know they had a third seat and did I want to come and join them! Now is that awesome, or what!!!

Maryanne, if you read this, please send me your email address again. I put it in a very "safe place" and now I can't find it!!!

Back inside for the panel/View segment. Renee from Cutie Bootie Cakes was still up so I caught the tail end of hers. She spoke of going to the next level. A power blogger, if you will.

The View

Unfortunately they were out of time before they even started, so it wasn't quite what they had hoped for, but it was still good.

Kat and Lula.

Saturday Night

M&M World!!

Leslie with MadaMe M&M

Me and M-Elvis

Trish with MadaMe M&M. Unfortunately my flash bailed on me for her picture. Maybe she can send me a better one?? Hint Hint. lol

Just because.

The front of a shirt that we found walking down the strip. I LOVED IT!!!!

So that's it on the conference. You won't hear about it again.... Until the next one.

Once Upon A Time A Really Drunk Chick Walked Into A Hotel Room In Vegas...

The first night of the conference last weekend was a dance/ice breaker sort of thing. I missed the intros earlier because of my flight time/shuttle fiasco, so I went in cold, not knowing anyone.

And like I said before, in those situations I keep a drink in one hand and my camera in the other. Trish said she thought that I was the official photographer! lol

Notachance.

Eventually I went and sat at a table and I was joined by first two wonderful bloggers, and then two other wonderful bloggers.

The first ones were Kim and Katie from L.A. And for the life of me I cannot get my poken (electronic business card sort of things we all got) to work, or to rephrase that, I cannot figure out HOW it works, so I can't link up to them, which is too bad.

The second pair was Trish and Leslie from North Carolina. I went for dinner with them on Saturday night and went on the roller coaster with Trish's cousin Katie (different Katie from above) and wandered the strip with them. They. Are. Awesome. And can you believe I didn't get a single picture with them? Sigh...

I did have a good many drinks that first night. In my defense they were small glasses. But I did have many. Because they were free. Finally I decided it was a pain to keep going up to the bar every five minutes, so the last time I went up I got two.

Wouldn't you know that my timing totally RULED because they changed over to a cash bar MINUTES after I filled both my paws! I should have bought a lottery ticket. Or played a slot. THAT is how rare a stroke of good luck like that is for me.

Anyway, once it changed over to a cash bar, the crowd thinned out pretty quickly. So I took my drink and sloshed my way up to the casino. I soon went up to my room, but it didn't take long to discover that I was pretty damn drunk and would not, could not, stay in my room.

So what does any normal drunk chick do when she is in Vegas alone?

Why she wanders the strip of course.

I found myself going in beautiful hotels by the front door, and somehow going out the back.

Not safe. Or smart. But it was what it was and that night I was INVINCIBLE!

I ended up in Walgreens where I bought Liv's stuffed dog.

I found myself giggling up moving sidewalks.

I was fortunate enough to see THREE pirate shows outside some hotel while the normal sober person only got to watch one. Sucks to be them.

I did finally stumble my way back to my room around 1:00. It took me about five minutes to figure out how to open my curtains to see the view from my upgraded room. (Those pictures will follow tomorrow. You will definitely want to come back tomorrow, because that is when I will be showing the majority of my Vegas pictures, including the "view from above" and pics of the speakers from Saturday.)

It turns out there was a remote control for the drapes. I know. Whodathunkit?

There wasn't much to see in the middle of the night, except the glow from the pools below.

I had been bumped "up" to the 20th floor.

I could look down at the Tao Beach Club, where Kim Kardashian (or whatever) was celebrating her birthday party.

And I could hear it. Oh Lordy, could I hear it.

But really, I was pretty stinking drunk. I mean, I didn't dance around my room or anything.

That would be just embarrassing to admit.

So I won't.

But I might have.

Briefly.

While giggling.

My bad.

Of note, I was almost on time for the conference first thing the next morning.

Wax On. Wax Off. Wax Scaring The Freaking Shit Out Of Us!!

On Saturday night after my new friends had gone to spend their casino slot credits, I carried on and did some more wandering.

I ended up taking some pictures for people, surprise surprise, and found myself at Madame Somethingorother's Wax Museum and Haunted House!!

Oh. My. God. Was it ever a hoot.

When it comes to talking to random strangers in line ups and elevators, I ROCK! I was grouped with four people to go through the haunted house. It is almost pitch black and all you are going through with is a glow stick.

They even suggest you empty your bladder BEFORE you go in. Now what does that tell you?

So the five of us walked into this dark, dark room, in a single file line. Before I knew what was going on, we were in more of a group huddle/hug situation.

Suddenly, being on the far left, I looked beside me and wouldn't you know it, some of these wax figures are REAL PEOPLE!! This little dude had his scary made up face, like, an inch from mine.

And he kept coming at me.

Well, I screamed like a little girl and threw myself backwards, my sunglasses flew off my head, thankfully into the hands of the lady behind me, and I darned near took out my team!

From there on, I had this young girl's fingers DIGGING into my shoulders to the point where I'm not really sure if the bruises on my shoulders are from the roller coaster or HER! But she was a screamer, and there is nothing like a MEGASCREAMER when you are in a haunted house!

We had one guy in our group, but to be honest, he was more of a chicken than we were! So I took the bull by the horns and led the group through, trying to be pro-active by taking bets on which of these figures was real and would jump at us or sneak up behind us. I figured, hey, I'm in Vegas and not winning anything on the slot machines, so I've got to try to win somewhere!

They didn't bite.

They did, however, entertain the hell out of me! That young gal screaming, and the guy trying to be all brave.

There was one point where I was heading to the exit with my entourage and he decided to look around the corner, where just seconds before I saw someone moving.

He stuck his face right in there and suddenly is running backwards squealing!!

Made. My. Night.

When we finally got to the exit (which was supposed to take us around 30 minutes but took us 10, probably due to the all-out sprint through some of the rooms while we were being chased!) the young girl literally launched herself out the door ahead of us and landed on her ass in the gift shop!

If you are going to Vegas in the next few weeks, I highly recommend this! It turns into the haunted house only after dark and is extra special/scary for Halloween!

Who Am I?

One of the comments made at the conference was that your blog should be who you are. I get that. And it is.

The next comment was about how it was disappointing to meet that person and find out that they are not who you expected them to be from how they have portrayed themselves on their blog.

Let me tell you that only a few got to meet "ME". It was very intimidating to be there alone. Many people had a sidekick, or even a group that they knew and stuck with. I think it was great of Tiffany and Heather to pull this off. I'm sure it was not easy! And I promise you, this is my only Debbie Downer post about the whole weekend. The rest will likely bit a little bit tongue in cheek or down right comical.

Carrying on...

Those few that I got to be "ME" with were the ones who actually welcomed me. They let me hang out with them. Walk the strip with them. Dine with them and shop with them. While I didn't mind so much wandering around by myself, some of the time, I am so thankful for those two fellow bloggers, whom I now consider friends.

I felt very out of my element. Even isolated sometimes. So what do you do if you are feeling like that? Well, if you are me, you make sure you have a drink in one hand and a camera in the other.

At the conference itself, I was silent.

S*I*L*E*N*T

(Oh, except for when I stood up at the very end to ask Heather to climb back up onto the table, because I missed it the first time. That was literally ALL I had to say. Weird.)

So if anyone comes by, which I doubt many will, because I really didn't "put myself out there", rest assured that I AM who I am on my blog.

I AM someone who had the kahonas to pack up, leave her family, and head to Vegas ALONE. Trust me, alone is okay; but LONELY sucks!

I AM someone who is funny and outgoing, but is a bit of a wall flower when I feel invisible.

I AM someone who can go out and chat with anyone, when I feel like I will be accepted.

And I didn't feel that way for the most part at the conference. It was very much over my head in regard to the technical blog mumbo-jumbo and overall drive to be a power blogger.

I just wanted to go and meet a few people in real life and make some new friends.

It is what you make of it, though, and I did have a wonderful time, met a few very friendly people, and ventured out of my comfort zone for an awesome adventure.

And now I'm home, refreshed and ready to roll.

SITScation

So I literally am JUST home from SITScation in Vegas. There was a two hour delay for my flight: time I would have quite happily used to sit by the pool and chat with my new friends! When we finally landed, I was chosen by the humourless customs Byotch to get my stuff searched. Meanwhile, Leon's on nights and the girls are home waiting for me.

Nice.

I look forward to telling you all about my weekend, from burning my legs with NAIR the morning I left, to the event itself, my brief escape for some sun, wandering around with a few wonderful ladies on Saturday night, sleeping in and laying by the pool on Sunday to finally getting home.

It's all an adventure.

But I'll leave you with this:

When you are a blogger, let it be known that what happens in Vegas, does not stay in Vegas. It makes its way into cyber-space for everyone's entertainment.



So, just to leave you with something so this poor soul can go to bed, here are a couple things I heard people say this weekend:

• I guess I just have to poop faster!
• I just, like, wanted to touch her bum!
• Maybe I should go to the bathroom now so I don't shit myself on the roller coaster! (That one was yours truly my friends, and I DID go on the roller coaster!)