Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, 'F..k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!'
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, 'I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, please pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'
Live your life in such a way that
when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
Satan shudders & says...
"Oh SHIT! She's awake!!!