My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

A Lighter Day Today





An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?' At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...'You agonna try again.'




This is so beautiful;

A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that fucking party, you're lucky you don't bark!

7 comments:

jill jill bo bill said...

So glad you are better and back to your normal self. I missed you.

Ronda's Rants said...

You are a funny girl...thanks for the book...I started it last night! :) Thanks for the starbucks card...I see a trip there in the very near future! :)

Bree Shaw said...

lol! what a funny post.

wy-not said...

OMG, now that was funny! What a great kick-start to a Tuesday morning. Thanks babe.

Betty said...

I loved the first joke about the Italian. LOL!
Hope this helped you too, to get in a better mood!
Thinking of you!

angie said...

Still laughing.........

Buddha's Place said...

snicker, snicker...still barking bwahhahaha