No, this post is not about my sex life. Or, more accurately, Leon's.
A quick warning for all of my Christian friends:
You do NOT want to read this post today.
I may swear.
And I may be downright offensive.
Because I'm feeling a little bit nasty today.
I was away from blogging for a couple of days to tend to my life. The life that I've been overwhelmed with lately. Everything hits at once. I know I'm not alone in this. It is the season for tournaments and competitions and championships and all sorts of crazy, let's see how much the parent's can take before they snap completely, schedules.
That isn't the reason I will complain and offend today, though.
Tuesday full of grace.
Tuesday is two years old.
Tuesday is battling cancer.
I've only been reading about Tuesday for the past few months or so. But let me tell you, this sweet little girl touched my soul.
I read while they were anticipating her full remission.
I cried when they found a new tumor.
I don't pray, but I was definitely thinking of them all while she went through chemo. Again.
I was shocked when there was nothing more they could do. Her mother wrote that it was time to take her home.
That was January 28/29.
I completely lost it when I returned to blogland to find that she had died on January 30.
I cried for about 20 minutes. Gut-wrenching sobs for this little girl. For her family.
And then I got mad. I got pissed right off.
The way someone with not a whole lot of faith does when a child suffers.
I hope that there is a Heaven. I really do. I hope it looks like a great big McDonald's Playland.
See. That's my version of faith. It's hope.
Hope that there something out there a whole site better that this shithole.
It's hope that Tuesday is no longer suffering.
It's hope that her mother gets to hold her again, happy and painless.
Let's be real for a minute though, shall we?
I'm not going to be stroking any heavenly egos and glorifying God and lifting up thanks that she is now in the loving arms of Jesus.
That little girl SHOULD be in the loving arms of her MOTHER.
God will get her in due time, but she was needed here. Now.
If He's all that great, why on earth do these little people suffer? Don't give me any free will bullshit, or Adam and Eve crap. I don't buy it.
I think people say what they think will justify the moment.
Nothing justifies this.
Nothing justifies a God sitting up on His little cloud watching while a child is tied to a bathtub faucet for 10 years.
Nothing justifies looking on while there is sexual abuse of any kind being done to a child.
Nothing justifies a little person knowing cancer and pain as the norm in their life.
If that's the kind of love God doles out to his "children", I don't want it.
For anyone who lives in the area, here are the plans for the celebration of wee Tuesday's life.
Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 am
Colorado Horse Park
7522 South Pinery Drive
Parker, CO 80134