My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Common Secret That No One Wants To Talk About (Guys, go away)

Huh? Hell, I'll talk about it!!!

Urinary incontinence.

There! I said it!

I don't think it's anything to be ashamed about. We cannot push out children and expect to NOT be affected in some way.

Stress incontinence affects nearly all women who have had children. Some worse than others, of course, but for the most part, we moms can no longer jump on trampolines, skip rope, cough, sneeze, laugh or run.

For example, one time at a party I was standing chatting with someone and discovered something that DID embarrass me, though. And I don't embarrass easily these days!

I had bronchitis and coughed pretty constantly. After about 10 minutes or so, I realized that every time I had to cough, I would cross my legs. I wouldn't just squeeze my thighs together. No. No. No. That wouldn't have been near as horrifying. I would actually cross my right leg over my left and THEN squeeze.

Shit.

How could the whole room NOT have noticed that? From that moment, I decided to go and sit down and pee on my friend's couch instead. (Lynne, I'm KIDDING!)

I have had several laughs with my very good friend about these situations. She is actually looking into surgery for the problem, to which I say, good. You go first and let me know how totally awful it is. Then I'll consider it.

I've tried kegels and weight loss and dehydration. Truth is, my body "down under" is just plain old tired.

I am not ashamed to tell you that I actually protect myself from these horrible situations now. I would much rather support the feminine hygeine companies than leave a freakin' wet spot.

Now I play soccer, kick box, zumba, run, cough, sneeze belly laugh and skip rope to my heart's content.

I'm not letting something as silly as my bladder stop me from living life to the fullest. And I'm definitely not afraid to talk about it.

For I am WOMAN. Hear me ROAR. (With legs tightly crossed, of course!)

5 comments:

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Have you seen the Whoopi Goldberg youtube videos about this subject?

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=whoopi+goldberg+poise&aq=5

Poise pads are part of my daily wardrobe.

Getting old ain't for sissies, ya know.

Betty said...

I don´t have this problem (yet), but I love how you confront it! You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I actually went down and checked my couches (just joking I am in Fort McMurray!) You know me so well!
Lynne

wy-not said...

I prayed that child would be a girl, even knowing the burdens girls carry. I could have wished for that child to be a boy, so that her life would be easy and free from all the physical crap of girl-ness. But I prayed for a girl, and I got my girl, and my girl is you. Sorry about that :-)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mama

Lilly said...

Great post and its a common issue. Coughing is bad, I have the same problem. Let us know how your friend goes. And I love reading your mother's comments.