Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Out ---- and I'm not talking about that time in the crowded elevator...

This post comes with a big-ass warning:

If you are enjoying parenting then don't read this.

If you are going to tell me that teenage girls are hard but it gets easier? Yeah, I've heard that.

If I am going to insult your good parenting by talking negatively about my kids, or one thereof, then you might want to go elsewhere.

If you managed to raise your children to adulthood and like them the whole way through, then you are full o' crap.

If you don't want to listen to me rant and rave about my naturally hormonally challenged, it's-all-about-me 15 year old with tendencies towards drama, "I hate you and my life", "I'm the victim", "this sucks ASS", "I know everything", completely irrational behavior with anger issues and "I should have been born into a rich family" attitude, then I'll see ya' later.

If it is horrible to admit that I have considered letting her go live with her friend's family for the selfish reason of enjoying peace in my household then that makes me a horrible person. Even knowing that those incredibly wonderful mothers that her friends ended up with would return her to my door step in a fucking body bag once she showed them her true colours, I would still consider it.

Is that wrong of me? I think not.

Is it reasonable that within five minutes of being home she has caused such anger and chaos in my house that while chauffeuring her to her outing once again, she has made the rest of us so incredibly miserable that OUR plans were cancelled so that we ended up going home, one to bed, one to her book, one to the computer and the other to the TV while she still got to do HER thing? Did she even notice or care?

Is it completely selfish that I would leave for work early in order to get to a parent's meeting for her cheerleading and be greeted with "Harrumph! You look grumpy! Why are YOU so grumpy??" And comments like that, as Leon learned today, just piss me off.

Is it cheap of me to be sitting there at the meeting learning about the fact that I had to pay a $500 registration plus work off $1000 in credits for her to participate, only to hear from her "I want sweat pants." I actually added sweat pants to her order at her request.

On the way home, I told her that her father and I have to do about 15 bingos to raise the money for her Florida trip with Cheer. She rewarded me with not a thank you, not even a "wow. I hadn't realized...", but with "I'm ready for hoop earrings now."

Is it wrong that once we got home she immediately went and heated up the ONE steak that was left over from supper (since we were at the meeting and missed it) without offering to cut it in half so I could have some? That one hurt.

Today, I tried to just give her a quick lesson at the stove for making macaroni, and I got "the look" and was told that of course she KNEW that I was once again called "miserable". She left in a huff.

Oh, and she announced that she doesn't have a single sweater, and she needs one thank you very much.

For the 10th time in the last 24 hour period I told her "We don't have the money! You have your skeleton hoodie that still fits you, it'll do until you need your winter jacket."

She responded with "It has dog hair on it and I hate my winter jacket. It's a man's jacket!"

I feel I should point out that SHE PICKED THE JACKET!!!!

I felt comfortable and well within my rights at this point to tell her that she looks like a man anyway with the way she is dressed, big baggy pants halfway down her ass, high top running shoes and a TOUQUE pinned to her head, so why not add a men's jacket to the ensemble!!

She walked away sobbing.

I guess I overstepped.

My bad.

I thank God every day that He gave me Cassie, who is a fairly emotionally stable, easy, happy child.

And I thank God every day that He gave me Olivia to remind me how cute my other kids were when they were little.

And I thank God for giving me the patience He has up until this point, and included in my prayer my shopping list for WAY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM and while you're at it, please include endurance and a money tree. Amen.

Okay, I feel better. Thank you.

A Whole Whack of Wordful Wednesday!!

Not a whole lot to say. Just a whole lot to look at! These are the latest to photo shoots done last week.

Mouse Tails Monday

Once upon a time a young girl moved out at 17 to live with the boy she thought was her prince....

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? This was no fairy tail, and he was no prince!

He is, however, going to play a little part in this story regardless.

One day, "not my prince" brought home an aquarium. In that aquarium were five mice.

I had hamsters and quite enjoyed them and thought they were the cutest things ever.

I don't have the same feelings for mice. But how would "not my prince" know that? Why, because he never asked, of course.

I took one look at these five little white mice and thought, these are not pets, they are snake food. (Which I find totally gross and sad of course!)

I said to "not my prince", "You DO know that these things MULTIPLY and should NEVER be housed TOGETHER, right?"

He responded with, "Oh no, it's okay. They are all boys. And I've named them after The Simpsons."

You may recall that the Simpsons family has TWO BOYS and THREE GIRLS in their family.

Well he nailed that, because very soon we had three pregnant little BOYS running around.

I immediately did the thing that I thought was reasonable. I put the pregnant BOYS in hamster cages, because I thought the REAL BOYS would be mean to the babies.

I came home from, I don't know, either school or work one day to discover that all three mothers and all their million babies were GONE!

It would have been really cool if someone, ANYONE, had told me that mice can flatten themselves paper thin and get through the bars of these hamster cages.

"Not my prince" and I lived in a twenty-something floor high rise.

And there were now about 40 mice running around in the walls.

Nice.

"Not my prince" was working out of town, so would set up traps before he left. There was only once when I was sitting on the couch watching TV ALL ALONE when I heard a S*N*A*P underneath me.

That thing stayed there for about another week until "not my prince" came home to deal with it.

And then when he left again he set all the traps again.

I didn't like this much, because these were OUR babies. Innocent little things that should never have been sold to "not my prince" in an aquarium with assurances that they were all the same sex.

So after he left, I flicked all the traps and set snacks out for them.

And then I went down to the landlord and gave our month's notice.

There was no frigging way that I was gonna' live there anymore!!

Now every time I drive past that high-rise, I find myself wondering if they still have a mouse problem!!

Insert evil giggle here......

WATCH THIS!

The 40 second mark SLAYS me!!

Let's Chat, Shall We?

I feel the need to complain.

You don't mind, do you?

Good.

Are you sick of seeing this?

Yeah, me too.

How about this?

They look like stupid, ugly penguins. 

Only penguins aren't ugly.

So that comment made absolutely no sense.

Moving on.

I actually told Asia that she should gather a few friends and do this with their jeans and boxers and see how fast the principal put a stop to it!  Yet boys have been doing this for 16 years.  

I'm sure some of you are thinking, "You would LET your daughter do that? To sacrifice her reputation? Make her the pawn in your little game just so you could prove a point?" 

Why yes. Yes, I would.

I think we need to apply something like this....

And it would also apply to this...because it's just plain wrong.

Now these? Besides being weird, slutty and just plain ugly, they look uncomfortable as hell!  Although the belly button bauble is kind of cute.

This is simply being added because HOLY SHIT!  Somehow I doubt that  this walking down the street would be in any way indecent exposure ticket worthy. Because by the time men AND women shook their heads clear, she'd be long gone. 

However, to be honest, the double standard would totally piss me off.

Because I haven't done this in a while...

It's Meme time!

I'd love to feel all special and everything when I tell you that someone sent this to me specifically because they wanted to get to know me better ..... But the truth is that I just stole it for lack of anything else to do tonight.

That totally doesn't mean it will be a waste of your time though.

But nor will it be deep.

Or enlightening.

And OFF we go!

1.  Have you ever been searched by the cops?

Nope. But I did get questioned in the back of a police car when I was 18. And who called them, you ask? Why MY BROTHER, of course!

2.  Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?

Now where on earth is the fun in THAT?

3.  Would you rather sleep with someone or alone?

With a certain someone actually. But ask me again after I have a king size bed all to myself in VEGAS, BABY!!

4.  Do you think OJ killed his wife?

Abso-friggin-lutely!

5.  Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Jennifer Aniston, without a doubt.

6.  Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?

Duh! They take all of my money and spend it on really cool trips around the world and then retire on a full pension after six months hard time. The poor dears.

7.  Do you know how to play poker?

In theory, yes. But ask me after VEGAS, BABY!

8.  Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Nope.

9.  Who was your first love?

My first puppy love was Robbie Stretch in grade three. It lasted all the way through to grade nine.

10. What talent do you wish you had?

I would love to be able to sing!!! I mean, don't get me wrong .... I do it anyway!! 

11. Do you like sushi?

I have never tried it, but, like sardines, never will!

12. What do you wear to bed?

Usually shorts and a tank top. After I had kids I had horrible fears of there being a fire and everyone seeing me naked, and not getting to my kids in time because I had to stop for my housecoat!

13. Do you truly hate anyone?

Nah. It takes too much energy to hate people. 

14. Do you know anyone in jail?

Not currently. But I know people who HAVE been in jail.

15. Have you ever been punched in the face?

God no!!! But I took a bat to the nose from Dixie in grade 6.  I think I get bonus points for taking on a weapon!

16. What food do you find disgusting?

Tofu and mushroom FAKE meatballs.  But that is a blog post for another day!

17. Favorite movie?

Oh, my. That is one of the hardest questions.  Right now it is Transformers, but only because I am so anxious to see the second one. I could, and might, do a movie meme another time, there are so many!

Have a great Tuesday!

If You Give THIS Mom A Moment....

It's time for another Thursday Workshop with our beautiful hostess, Kat.

The Prompts:

1.) If You Give A Mom A Moment...
Inspired by Heidi from Sacred And Profane)

2.) What's the message you would craft
(inspired by Heidi from Sacred and Profane after she read this post at Minor Catastrophes)

3.) Your Fall favorites.
(inspired by me)

4.) If your pet could talk, what would you want to know?
(inspired by KK from Kamp KK (but not the KKK))

5.)If you could only focus on three things in life and pursue them fully, leaving everything else, what would they be and why?
(inspired via tweet by Sarah Mae from Like A Warm Cup Of Coffee)

If you give this mom a moment, she would lay silently, pretending to be sound asleep while her wee-est one kneels by her bed to pray.

If you give this mom a moment, she would peek through her eyelashes at that sweet little blonde with her hands held together and eyes squeezed tight.

If you give this mom a moment, she would take the time to cherish the words that her precious little gift spoke to Jesus.

If you give this mom a moment, she would hear "Dear Jesus. Please don't ever let me grow up so that my mom stops reading to me. And thank you for our food. And thank you for our house. And thank you for my family and my dog. And thank you for my closet. And thank you for my toys. And thank you for the sun and the moon. And please I want a cat and a dog. All men."

If you give this mom a moment, she would immediately consider blogging this, because sometimes a beautiful moment is made all the more beautiful when it is shared.

If you give this mom a moment, she would spend it being thankful that as tired as she was, she spent it cuddled up to her girl instead of rushing off to do the dishes and that last load of laundry.

I hope you all have a wonderful moment-filled day!

Wordful Wednesday

This is one of my favorite photos from the wedding a month ago. I left the colour in the flowers and put some extra zing in her eyes! Like she needed it! Ha!  This is a stunning couple!

Now head on over to see the skinny-little-mother-of-five reason I should be trying to lose weight for Vegas in a month!  

Tuesday's Tribute

People who aren't me who still love my kids rock.

They really do.

They must be saints.

Or else they're getting paid.

My new dayhome falls into the latter category. But I also think she falls into the first category.

She is so awesome.  She is soft-spoken. She is nice.  I think she even likes Olivia.

I have truly been fortunate with dayhomes for Olivia. 

We had Shirley for the first few years and I could not have been more comfortable leaving Olivia there. And I pride myself on NOT being "one of those moms" who natters and judges and demands completely irrational things. I like to think that I let her know how much I appreciated her and how wonderful she was at helping us raise Olivia, because I honestly believe that is what the good dayhomes do. 

Now that I am at work full time, Olivia, being in full day school and Leon working shift work, only needs occasional before and after school care. And her new dayhome provider is willing to accommodate us! I am so thankful for that! I am hoping that we will never lose her!  I have decided that there will be a minimum I will pay her every month (and yes, Lemoine, I realize that my money and your money together equal our money, and no matter how I word this, we know that your money pays for everything and my money pays for everything else, which in effect, gets the job done and uses up all of our money anyway...) so that she won't totally hate using a whole spot on us.  I also like to think that I am very generous at Christmas time.... With the babysitters anyway!! For everyone else, I'm a cheap bugger! lol

That said, I want to send huge thank yous out to all the GOOD babysitters out there! You really are treasures and we couldn't do it without you!

WTF??? Do we SERIOUSLY need to be judged on THIS now?

I think as women, we are judged very harshly, both by ourselves and each other. Now some jack ass has decided we need to be taken to task yet again. I say shame on them. Why are tax dollars allowed to be spent on this crap? So, be advised my personal messages are for them, not you. A Glamour poll of nearly 1000 women, analysed by Billy Goldberg, M.D., and Mark Leyner, authors of "Let's Play Doctor," found which habits are unhealthy -- and which are filthy but fine.  Ever wear dirty clothes? A full 85% of women have -- just draw the line at underwear (which 52% of poll-takers have reworn).  Yeah, sometimes life gets in they way of good hygiene.  If you don't like it, then you can kiss the ass of my dirty jeans. Have you ever peed in the shower? Almost 75% of poll-takers have. Since toilet flushing accounts for almost 27% of indoor water use in a home, go for it.  So, finally we are doing something right! Madonna says that peeing on her feet in the shower every morning is what makes her feet stay so beautiful. Hmmm. Maybe I should start peeing on my ass. Would that even be possible? The five-second rule? More than 40% of women eat food that's fallen on the floor. -- Researchers tossed food on grimy flooring and found that it was germy after just a few seconds.  We are a generation of wasteless, and waistless, people. Bite me. (After I'm all clean of course!)   Go barefoot at the gym? 32% of women admitted doing it -- Sorry, going barefoot is not a good thing to do at the gym. Even if you're not worried about slipping on wet feet, you should be wary of the stuff found in sweaty, steamy places that can cause athlete's foot and plantar warts.   Why are these questions being directed at us? Seriously.  Shit happens. Brush your teeth every night? 43% of poll-takers said they don't -- Skip brushing and you're giving the germs in your mouth time to multiply, especially since the production of bacteria-killing saliva decreases when you sleep.  I wonder if the polls asked how much the women who took the study did that day, and how they felt at the end of it when they probably literally FELL into bed from exhaustion. I rarely do not brush my teeth at night, just because I know I eat a lot of sugar, but if I'm so tired (or stinking drunk) that I can't find my way to the toothpaste, well then, so-be-it!   How often do you shower? Almost a third of women said they don't lather up every day -- It depends on how much you sweat. Unhealthy? Personally, I do "lather up" daily, unless camping. But you know what? Who the fuck cares? Seriously, let's not judge each other.   Wash up after using the bathroom? 24% of women don't do it every time -- A little time at the sink will prevent those germs from finding their way into your mouth and causing you nasty gastrointestinal distress. Hand washing is the single most effective way to prevent the transmission of disease of almost any kind.

Just so you know, if I am in my own bathroom, and have not peed on my hands, I will not always make a trip to the sink afterwards. So sue me. In a public bathroom, whether I have peed on myself or not, my hands get washed.  

So there you have it.  What do you think?

Incognito

Some people insist on blogging "incognito".  

For example:

Some won't show their faces at all!

And other's just mishmash their faces so they are unrecognizable.

Some take the Saturday Night Fever route.

More grow facial hair.

And some can pulled off the "stunned little old lady" look.

The hat and sunglasses over the eyes is an old, old trick indeed!

But me?  I wouldn't even DREAM of posting pictures of 

MY family like this!

No sir.

Not me!

Thanks for stopping by from Candid Carrie!

Pieces of Me.

The Prompts:

1.) What does marriage mean to you?

2.) Scaredy Cat!!!

3.) List the pieces of you that have come from those around you?

4.) The first day of...

5.) Transcribe a recent entertaining conversation you recently had with someone.

There are extra special pieces of me
that can only have been given
By extra special people in my life
and from God up in Heaven.

Things like my sense of humour
Most laughed at by yours truly.
There is my funked up eyesight
That was handed out more cruelly.

On the upside there is my height
Which makes my extra forty look like twenty.
And from my kids my bank account
Which, sadly, comes up empty.

Genetics brought me a big bum
And thunder thighs to boot!
Happily I have an hourglass (ha) waist
But under big shirts that point is moot.

Now from my kids, I proudly boast
my patience, strength and knowledge.
They also bring out my inner bitch
And make me feel double my age.

Leon, oh, my Leon.
My frenchman, my poor frog.
I think his feelings get hurt
When I'd rather snuggle my dog.

But from him I've learned humility
And when to say I'm sorry.
And if you believe that ton of crap
Please stay anyway and finish my story.

My big feet come from my mom
Who sadly had to share her shoes.
(And her make up and her hairspray
and her clothes I would abuse!)

My dad showed strength of character
And work ethic up the wazoo.
My mom, having three kids at home
Got honours when she went back to school.

From my brothers I learned to run
Fast and hard and NOW.
And being the baby of the family
I learned I had to be loud.

And so it does continue,
The shaping that makes me me.
It is not perfect. It is not great.
But I'm independent, strong-willed and ME!


Go see Mama Kat for more!

Wordful Wednesday

Big sister and little sister spend some time doing each other's hair and makeup!





And little sister found girling up to be very tiring work indeed!

Mouse Tails Monday

This may freak you out a little, but this theme could go on for more than just a few weeks. 

For someone as squeamish as I am in regard to x-legged creatures, I have had more than my fair share of dealings with them. I say x-legged because they range from no legs at all, to eight legs, and all the even numbered options in between.

For the next little while, we are going to stick with the four-legged variety.

Mice.

In one of our past houses, the previous owners had an illegal gas line for their BBQ, so they took it out when they left, and did not fill the hole.  It was under the deck, so we were completely clueless as to the havoc it was about to cause.

One day while cleaning out underneath the kitchen sink, I found poop.

Mouse poop.

All together now, "What the EFF??"

So as soon as Leon came home traps were set and I was a little bit nervous. I have had mice before, albeit in my old high rise apartment building, and they were my mice. That is a post for another Monday, though, and I knew the S*N*A*P of the trap. And I knew that it didn't always kill them.

One night very soon after, while sitting watching TV by myself, I heard it. 

And the ruckus that followed was CRAZY! 

Slam! Slam! Slam! Crash!

So I very quickly went and woke up poor Leon who had to be up in a short few hours.

Priorities, people.

There was a hole cut out of the wall to make more of an open concept kitchen/diningroom/livingroom. So there I stood on the couch, watching through that opening as Leon went in.

He was armed with nothing but an empty margarine container and his underwear. 

Crouched in front of the sink, he gingerly opened up the cupboard door, margarine container at the ready.

WHAM! WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!

Gott'em!

The little bugger was caught in the trap, but was running for his life, trap strapped securely to his leg. 

Don't feel sorry for him.

Feel sorry for the one who had to launder those tighty-whities that her husband was wearing! 

For the life of me, I don't remember how we disposed of that mouse. There were so many other bodies on it's tail (pardon the pun) that the first one has completely faded from my memory.

While I'm not proud that we killed so many of God's icky creatures, it had to be done. Many, many times over.

Tune in next week for more Mouse Tails Monday mayhem!

Friday Foto Fiesta

Back to school pictures.  The girls held up the number of fingers for the grade they were entering! Leon's idea. Kudos!

The First Time I....

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I had to miss the FIRST day of school drop off. I did stay home long enough to take pictures of my kids (which will be up tomorrow) and hug and kiss my wee one and wish the others a great first day.

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I can honestly say was my last opportunity to take my youngest to her first day of grade one. And that sucks.

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I can say I have given birth to a high school student. And that is really quite an odd feeling.

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I have had to hold down a full time job. While I enjoy the job and the team I work with, I'm tired. And cranky. And having trouble letting go of the mom guilt.

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I have to hand over control and the day-to-day running of the house to Leon. I have to cut him some slack and realize that my priorities will not be his priorities. His clean will not be my clean. His plan may not, and likely WILL not be my plan for him.

This is the first time in all of my 13 years of taking kids to school that I have suffered such terrible insomnia that wasn't the result of the new wee babe in my arms. Because now, for the first time in all of my life, I have three kids that are all in full time school. And every opportunity to sleep through the night. And I'm at work without my therapy cleaning day. Without my vegging day. Without my volunteer at a field trip day.

And this is the first time in all of my parenting years that I am trying my very best, but still seem to be coming up short.

And that sucks too.

But on the up side, like I said, I was able to take pictures and I will post them tomorrow. There has to be SOME sunshine on this blog, or you crazy folks won't ever come back!

Words We Long To Hear

We went shopping for some back to school clothes, toiletries and a small amount of groceries last night.

It came to almost $500.

When the hell did THAT happen??

You used to be able to go to Walmart, fill a cart full of booty, baubles and bling and hardly bat an eye.

Now you need to re-mortgage your house.

I am thankful that the girls were with us. We were doing the self check out option, so it was more of a group effort than just having the cashier do it.

They were watching as things were getting scanned in and they were watching as the amount owing went up. Up. UP!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a nudge from one to the other.

I turned and asked what that was for.

Cassie, my sensitive one, responds "Nothing, Mom".

Then she looked at the screen.

So I asked her if it was about the money.

And they both just nodded their heads solemnly.

And then they said thank you.

Let me repeat that, both for your benefit and mine.

They said thank you!

I tell you, if I didn't hate shopping so much, I would be certain to do it more often, just for those words!

But, alas, I do hate shopping. With a passion.

It makes me very irritable.

Some, like me, would say downright bitchy.

And we would be right.