My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Out ---- and I'm not talking about that time in the crowded elevator...

This post comes with a big-ass warning:

If you are enjoying parenting then don't read this.

If you are going to tell me that teenage girls are hard but it gets easier? Yeah, I've heard that.

If I am going to insult your good parenting by talking negatively about my kids, or one thereof, then you might want to go elsewhere.

If you managed to raise your children to adulthood and like them the whole way through, then you are full o' crap.

If you don't want to listen to me rant and rave about my naturally hormonally challenged, it's-all-about-me 15 year old with tendencies towards drama, "I hate you and my life", "I'm the victim", "this sucks ASS", "I know everything", completely irrational behavior with anger issues and "I should have been born into a rich family" attitude, then I'll see ya' later.

If it is horrible to admit that I have considered letting her go live with her friend's family for the selfish reason of enjoying peace in my household then that makes me a horrible person. Even knowing that those incredibly wonderful mothers that her friends ended up with would return her to my door step in a fucking body bag once she showed them her true colours, I would still consider it.

Is that wrong of me? I think not.

Is it reasonable that within five minutes of being home she has caused such anger and chaos in my house that while chauffeuring her to her outing once again, she has made the rest of us so incredibly miserable that OUR plans were cancelled so that we ended up going home, one to bed, one to her book, one to the computer and the other to the TV while she still got to do HER thing? Did she even notice or care?

Is it completely selfish that I would leave for work early in order to get to a parent's meeting for her cheerleading and be greeted with "Harrumph! You look grumpy! Why are YOU so grumpy??" And comments like that, as Leon learned today, just piss me off.

Is it cheap of me to be sitting there at the meeting learning about the fact that I had to pay a $500 registration plus work off $1000 in credits for her to participate, only to hear from her "I want sweat pants." I actually added sweat pants to her order at her request.

On the way home, I told her that her father and I have to do about 15 bingos to raise the money for her Florida trip with Cheer. She rewarded me with not a thank you, not even a "wow. I hadn't realized...", but with "I'm ready for hoop earrings now."

Is it wrong that once we got home she immediately went and heated up the ONE steak that was left over from supper (since we were at the meeting and missed it) without offering to cut it in half so I could have some? That one hurt.

Today, I tried to just give her a quick lesson at the stove for making macaroni, and I got "the look" and was told that of course she KNEW that I was once again called "miserable". She left in a huff.
Oh, and she announced that she doesn't have a single sweater, and she needs one thank you very much.

For the 10th time in the last 24 hour period I told her "We don't have the money! You have your skeleton hoodie that still fits you, it'll do until you need your winter jacket."

She responded with "It has dog hair on it and I hate my winter jacket. It's a man's jacket!"

I feel I should point out that SHE PICKED THE JACKET!!!!

I felt comfortable and well within my rights at this point to tell her that she looks like a man anyway with the way she is dressed, big baggy pants halfway down her ass, high top running shoes and a TOUQUE pinned to her head, so why not add a men's jacket to the ensemble!!

She walked away sobbing.

I guess I overstepped.

My bad.

I thank God every day that He gave me Cassie, who is a fairly emotionally stable, easy, happy child.

And I thank God every day that He gave me Olivia to remind me how cute my other kids were when they were little.

And I thank God for giving me the patience He has up until this point, and included in my prayer my shopping list for WAY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM and while you're at it, please include endurance and a money tree. Amen.

Okay, I feel better. Thank you.


Stacey said...

Too funny and TOO scary. I've got two six year olds with severe autism and it doesn't scare me as much as a teenage daughter does!

Anonymous said...

I've got a 17 year old daughter. I hear ya, sister. I've been there. She's almost sweet again. (But not all the time)

Trish said...

oh girl you crack me up! An no thinking those thoughts do not make you a bad mother!

I have a 13 yr old son and we are starting to struggle with a few that stare I get when I ask him to do something a the "ugh" comment all the drives me NUTS!

Hope things get better for ya!

Anonymous said...

I just want to reassure you that you and your family are sooooo normal. I have a 14 year old daughter and am dealing with the SAME things! I am trying to hang in there just like you, but sometimes a "come to momma" moment (This is more powerful than a "come to Jesus" moment)is needed just to remind her that I AM the boss and if I say "NO" I mean "NO" and what I say is how. it. will. be. period...!!! Whew! I will keep thinking about you and praying that you don't send your precious off to boot camp any time soon and that she will someday SOON realize how to respect, love, and see how hard you work for the things you can provide for her. One day at a time, momma. One day at a time. P.S. I have your letter you wrote to Asia several months ago hanging on my fridge at home (I LOVED it!) and once in a while I have to call my Shelby, Asia, to get her to realize what she is doing! Too, funny! Love ya, Kristina

Betty W said...

I´m sorry you have to go through this! But I do know how you feel and it´s ok to vent! I won´t say it will get better soon, that´s no help to you now. Teenagers are just so selfish and it´s soooo hard to get past those years.

Kim said...

Teenagers have to know it all, and think we know nothing, or they will NEVER LEAVE.

I'm having my own difficulties with my 14 year old autistic, bipolar kid (including arrest and detention). He announced last night that he doesn't care if he goes back to detention, it wasn't so bad...

Apparently, it's better than home. Huh.

Claremont First Ward said...

My new mantra is:

don't grow up. Please don't grow up. Let me sleep through the teenage years. Please. :)

Hugs! :)

Controlling My Chaos said...

At least you got to make her cry. Score one for the parent! Teenagers are hideous, there's no way around it. I've decided that when my girls become teenagers and morph into sullen, apathetic, ungrateful leeches, I'm going to writing a book titled "How to Torture Your Teenager and Love Every Minute of It." I'll give you a copy for free, realizing that it will be too late for you, but at least maybe then you can relive your experience and feel thankful that you survived.