My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Sunday, September 13, 2009

WTF??? Do we SERIOUSLY need to be judged on THIS now?

I think as women, we are judged very harshly, both by ourselves and each other. Now some jack ass has decided we need to be taken to task yet again. I say shame on them. Why are tax dollars allowed to be spent on this crap? So, be advised my personal messages are for them, not you.

A Glamour poll of nearly 1000 women, analysed by Billy Goldberg, M.D., and Mark Leyner, authors of "Let's Play Doctor," found which habits are unhealthy -- and which are filthy but fine. 

Ever wear dirty clothes? A full 85% of women have -- just draw the line at underwear (which 52% of poll-takers have reworn). 
Yeah, sometimes life gets in they way of good hygiene.  If you don't like it, then you can kiss the ass of my dirty jeans.

Have you ever peed in the shower? Almost 75% of poll-takers have. Since toilet flushing accounts for almost 27% of indoor water use in a home, go for it. 
So, finally we are doing something right! Madonna says that peeing on her feet in the shower every morning is what makes her feet stay so beautiful. Hmmm. Maybe I should start peeing on my ass. Would that even be possible?

The five-second rule? More than 40% of women eat food that's fallen on the floor. -- Researchers tossed food on grimy flooring and found that it was germy after just a few seconds. 
We are a generation of wasteless, and waistless, people. Bite me. (After I'm all clean of course!)
 
Go barefoot at the gym? 32% of women admitted doing it -- Sorry, going barefoot is not a good thing to do at the gym. Even if you're not worried about slipping on wet feet, you should be wary of the stuff found in sweaty, steamy places that can cause athlete's foot and plantar warts. 
 Why are these questions being directed at us? Seriously.  Shit happens.

Brush your teeth every night? 43% of poll-takers said they don't -- Skip brushing and you're giving the germs in your mouth time to multiply, especially since the production of bacteria-killing saliva decreases when you sleep. 
I wonder if the polls asked how much the women who took the study did that day, and how they felt at the end of it when they probably literally FELL into bed from exhaustion. I rarely do not brush my teeth at night, just because I know I eat a lot of sugar, but if I'm so tired (or stinking drunk) that I can't find my way to the toothpaste, well then, so-be-it!
 
How often do you shower? Almost a third of women said they don't lather up every day -- It depends on how much you sweat. Unhealthy?
Personally, I do "lather up" daily, unless camping. But you know what? Who the fuck cares? Seriously, let's not judge each other.
 
Wash up after using the bathroom? 24% of women don't do it every time -- A little time at the sink will prevent those germs from finding their way into your mouth and causing you nasty gastrointestinal distress. Hand washing is the single most effective way to prevent the transmission of disease of almost any kind.
Just so you know, if I am in my own bathroom, and have not peed on my hands, I will not always make a trip to the sink afterwards. So sue me. In a public bathroom, whether I have peed on myself or not, my hands get washed.  

So there you have it.  What do you think?

8 comments:

Betty said...

Ditto on that last answer.
And why were only woman asked???!

wy-not said...

Well that was an eye-opener. Huh. Who knew we didn't all adhere to perfection? Who could have guessed that we're not all pristine, showered up, washed up, pictures of cleanliness, which is, after all, close to Godliness. Huh. Good to know...but I hope everybody is considering that hand-washing thing 100 per cent of the time - H1N1 scares the bejeepers out of me!!

wy-not said...

One more thing. I think they only asked women because CAN YOU FREAKIN' IMAGINE WHAT MEN'S ANSWERS WOULD BE? Now THAT would be scary.

KK said...

I agree with you. Oh, and I've solved the gym one by not going :)

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Honestly, I think people worry WAY to much about some of this stuff. I think we just have too much time on our hands and expect everything in our lives to be 100% perfect. I think pioneer women would be laughing their asses off at us and our little obsessions!

I have done most of the things on that list, but I wouldn't actually admit to it in front of anyone. Woman can be VERY judgmental and I think that is one of the worst things about us. Which is a shame because on the other hand, women can be very kind and caring of each other under the right circumstances.

Sheila said...

WOW! I'm with you on this! I'm still stuck on the peeing on the feet makes the pretty! Where the heck did Madonna come up with that crap?!

the treat girl said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leave it to MEN to come up with this stuff!!!!!!

Teri said...

Have they ever done a study to see how many germs guys leave behind when they continually fart in their jeans, especially when they are not wearing underwear because they were too lazy to wash them? Just askin'.