Yes, I Would Have Drugged My Mother.

The Prompts:

1.) If you had to relive a day in your life what day would it be?

2.) When do you first imagine yourself wishing you were older or bigger? Write about it.
(writingfix.com)

3.) Could a routine become interesting through words? Write about a person (perhaps you) caught up in a daily routine. Establish a rhythm with the story’s words that impersonates the rhythm of the routine.
(writingfix.com)

4.) Describe how your relationship with your spouse is different then the relationship your parents had while you were growing up.

5.) Write about someone who is an underdog.

Oh, this one is so easy!! It would totally be my wedding day.

Would I marry the same guy? Yes.

Would I wear the same dress? Probably.

The same limo? Abso-freaking-lutely!!! (Except I would have been more specific about taking a public route instead of the back roads of the legislature where no one could see us!! It was the totally coolest car on the planet! At least 14 years ago it was!)

I had big fun during the ceremony! Wouldn't change any of that!

I would have spent a few extra minutes on photos. I really had no plan, I just wanted to hurry the hell up so I could get back out to the car! Seriously. (I think that is why I make sure I take that extra time now when I shoot a wedding. I don't want them to have any regrets. Especially ones that I might be responsible for.)

I would have slept the night before.

I would have turned the lights down so people would dance more.

I would have warned the photographer that we were coming skipping in on stick horses to the Bonanza theme song for the reception so he could have been prepared. Gawd, he must have thought me the most empty-headed bride EVER!!

I would NEVER have done the receiving line at the reception. I would not have done one at all.

I would have PARTIED! I made trips up to the room for my bridesmaids (I was no fool giving anyone the keys to our room, lest I wanted the jaccuzi filled with condom water balloons and whipped cream topping all over the bed!) and I would have danced instead of sitting BY MYSELF watching everyone.

I would have visited with people. Holy cow, you'd never believe that I was shy, but in a crowd, I most definitely am. Even a crowd of MY OWN FAMILY! What a loser.

I would have thought before lending Diniz and Lynne our truck to go home in. They still could have taken it, but I would have THOUGHT to take our over night bags out first. We had to go to mom and dad's and get my clothes from the night before and get a sweater of my dad's for Leon for the next morning. Although speeding to my parents house at 1:00 in the morning definitely made for a funny wedding night story.

I would have instructed our DJ to play what the guests wanted to hear and told the bartender to quit watering down the drinks and hiding bottles of booze in his backpack.

Our first dance (a choreographed waltz to Dolly Parton's Rockin Years) kicked butt!!! However, in retrospect, even though we didn't like the person who helped choreograph, we really should have invited her. I feel a bit like a schmuck for dissing her.

I would have thought twice before choosing a "spring forward" time change weekend for our wedding. And Easter weekend to boot. The place was cleared out by 1 a.m.

I would have drugged my mother so she could have stayed longer.

I would have made sure my dad was in the hall so he couldhave seen the first dance. We were in such a hurry from the receiving line taking so long that I didn't even think about the people outside smoking!

I still would have taken off with the groomsmen's pants and boots and stood laughing while they had to run to the limo through the very public photo location in their underwear. Tee hee. LOVED that!

That about wraps that up. While I would relive that DAY, I would not for any money in the world want to have to relive the past 14 years!!! Nope. It's been tough. And once, for most of it anyway, is enough for this gal. I prefer what the future brings.

Mommy Blogger?

Am I the only person who hates the term "Mommy Blogger"?

Beware of the all-powerful Mommy Blogger community.

Mommy Bloggers unite!

Give me a break!

Please, for the love of all the is good in the world, tell me we haven't come to accept and empower a term like that.

We are not all mommies.

And really, we're not all women!

There are some great male bloggers out there. Let us not forget them, lest they will have to tuck it between their legs at the next BlogHer conference.

Am I a mommy? Yes.

Do I post pictures of my kids? Why yes. Yes I do.

Do I sometimes tell stories about my kids and the horrible job I'm doing parenting them? Yup. You got me on that too.

Do I want that to define me? Hell to the no, people!

Do I sometimes talk about my husband? Yes.

Do I talk about friends or what I did on the weekend? Yup.

Do I sometimes talk about my life before kids and husbands? Yes.

Did I have to create a separate blog so I could speak freely about those times? Yup. But that isn't the point here, is it??? Yikes!

Do I talk about work? Never. But that is my personal choice.

Did I attend a blog conference that was attended by only women? Yes.

I have been trying so hard in these past few years to figure out who I am besides a wife and a mother.

I play soccer. I go for drinks with friends. I drive kids around. I work. I read. I sing badly. I am two sizes bigger than I would like to be. I drive a minivan, but don't judge me. I like to play bingo. I like to go to movies. I love chinese food. I drink my coffee from Tim Horton's with 1/2 hot chocolate and a shot of hazlenut. I have the legs of a ninety year old woman. I'm a cheapskate who buys her clothes at Walmart. I like mowing the lawn but will run over the dog poop instead of picking it up, but don't tell my husband. I love music. Almost all genres. I like to go to the lake, but not for very long. I love my husband and my kids.

I am so much more than a "Mommy Blogger".

And I like it that way.

Thank God It's Monday!

I spent the weekend from Friday after work until Sunday night doing cheer stuff.

On Friday I was a judge runner for two hours. That involved running up and down the bleachers, over to the safety table, then downstairs with score sheets approximately 40 times. I discovered that my knee is crap and desperately needed an Advil.

I was back at competition by 8:30 on Saturday morning where I was judge runner again until 2:30.

That's a lot of stairs, people.

Thankfully I brought Advil and took it regularly so my knee didn't bother me a bit!

However, I discovered two more things on this fine day.

I forgot to put on deodorant Saturday morning. I always have some in my van, so after the first session was over, I ran straight out to get it!! It was cool out, so as I was walking outside, I put my arms up, pretending to play with my hair of course, so that I could air out a bit.

Next i discovered that all the people in the stands would probably have preferred it if I had worn my sports bra.

'Nuff said.

Once 3:30 hit, I got to be a spectator until 9:00.

Now today, I slept in, picked up dog crap, went grocery shopping, did a load or two of laundry then chaired a bingo.

Gimme an "H"!

Gimme an "O"!

Okay, what the hell .... Gimme another "O"!

Gimme an "R"!

Gimme an "A"!

Gimme a "Y"!

What does that spell?

Thank

God

It's

Over!

For the first time EVER I am saying that I am happy to see Monday come! Now I get to slow down a little bit.

Yay me!

Who Needs Teeth Anyway?

Okay, so two downer posts in a row is a little much, I know. I apologize.

But then .....

Leon called today to let me know that Livvy fell running up the concrete steps to her friend's front door. She completely missed one step and smashed her mouth.

And I do have to tell you that I did all the standard good mom things, like "Ewww!!" and "Oh, my poor baby!", and "Grossss!" before I asked Leon to grab the camera and snap a few pictures because I needed a blog post for today!

My poor girl!!

Is it just me or does she seem a little stressed here?

Her gums were pretty black and her teeth very loose!!

And I had the pleasure tonight of flossing skin out of her teeth.

My poor girl. She is zonked out now with a little bit of help from tylenol.

She knows, too, that losing all three teeth at once will make her rich.

She is clinging to that, and as we all know, money always helps ease the pain.

Money and popsicles.

Lots and lots of popsicles.

Dear Rhonda:

It's time again for our writing assignment from Mama Kat.

Our prompts this week:

The Prompts:

1.) Write a letter to yourself from someone who has passed on. (ie: parent, grandparent, famous person, friend, pet, etc)
(inspired by Untypically Jia

2.) Create and share a Whrrl story.
(inspired by Whrrl).

3.) Write a Haiku that describes what you love about an ordinary day.
(inspired by Jade from Now that I’m no longer 25…)

4.) What lights your fire? Describe five things you are most passionate about.
(inspired by Musings From Me).

5.) Share some photos and stories as well as what you love about spring.
(inspired by Amanda from Welcome To My Life).

I'm totally tackling numero uno!

Dear Rhonda:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have hurt you all. And I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused Buddy.

But let me explain. Please let me try to describe to you what it was like for me.

It was dark. And it was sad. And it was lonely. When life was good, it was wonderful! But when I was in that dark, sad and lonely pit, it was far worse than anything you could ever imagine. I could see no other way out. And I thought it would be best for everyone if I just went away.

What I didn't realize until I was gone was how much everyone loved me. I never imagined that you would think of me and miss me every single day. I was shocked to discover how broken you would all be.

But I was grateful for the way you all gathered around Buddy and helped him through this. It is true that family comes together in the very best way over a tragedy.

I'm sorry that I had to be that tragedy.

I'm so thankful for the beautiful service. All the flowers. All the thought that went into following my final wishes. For going through the trouble of finding the old minister/politician dude to speak on my behalf, only to find out that he probably didn't have a clue who I was. Nice, huh? Haha.

Rhonda, you need to know that I forgive you for not calling that week. It's okay. If I had stuck around, you would have proven what a great sister-in-law you could be. I know that. I wish you had called too, but I made my choice and it has nothing to do with whether or not my phone rang.

I know that you would give anything under the sun to have had the understanding about depression then that you have now. I know that you would rewind to that week when you thought that it was just a phase. An attention thing. I know that you truly didn't think people actually didthat. People just didn't get that sad. And those who made the choice I did were just selfish.

If nothing else, my choice has taught you compassion and empathy and has given you a level of understanding that you would not have otherwise. Sad people would still cause you to think, "Oh, suck it up. Everyone's life sucks sometimes." You see things in a different light now. And maybe one day you'll strike up a career in an area that will help people in my situation. I know that is what you would love to do. Don't give up on that if that's what you really want to do, but don't do it because deep down, you are just trying to save me!

I'm okay. I'm not sad anymore. The sun is out. I'm on an endless beach, with loud waves and the splash of the ocean in my face. I'll see you all again, whether you believe that or not. Oh, I see Grampa coming back to shore now. He has spent the day fishing and is having a great time. He says hello, by the way!

Please send Buddy my love. All of you in fact. And jars upon jars of green tomato pickles for Gramma.

Hugs and kisses,

Shelley

Layla Grace

November 26, 2007 - March 9, 2010

I have not asked permission to publish this post.

I have not asked permission to use a picture.

But I'm going to.

Because her family wants people to know.

They want people to know Layla Grace in all her beauty

and spirit

and love

and finally, in the disease that took her.

Layla Grace "went to play with the angels" this morning. She had stage IV neuroblastoma. It was very agressive and took her quickly upon its return.

She had loving parents and sisters who adored her.

And many thousands of people around the world prayed, and fell in love with this sweet little girl.

And I don't think I would underestimate if I told you that millions of tears have been cried.

I encourage you to go and get to know this little girl through their blog, Layla Grace.

I highly recommend you have kleenex handy.

And you can donate if you choose.

Bloggy Book Exchange

I signed up with my friend Angie over at 7 Clown Circus to participate in a book exchange. Now, I don't know off hand if my book exchange partner comes here, but I'm going to risk spoiling the surprise by blogging about some of my recent reads. Books that will be on their way to her once I finish the last one.

7th Heaven by James Patterson. I quite liked it. It's a nice easy read. But to be honest, when I went to write this little blurb, I had to go back to the book to see what it was about. I just opened it to a few random pages knowing that a couple of words would transport me right back into the book. Hmmm. Turns out I was wrong. It took a few minutes to remember what it was about. So, a good read, but obviously not very memorable, seeing as I just finished it.

You've Been Warned, another by James Patterson. It is also a pretty quick read. It does keep you guessing through the whole thing. It's a little off at times. I would consider this a pretty good beach read.

Loves Music, Loves To Dance, by Mary Higgins Clark: Another murder mystery. It is also pretty good. I don't quite remember how they figure out the whodunit part, but I probably already figured it out so didn't think I needed to pay attention. I'm really bad about devouring the first 99% of the book and then just skimming the ending, because by then I already know what I'm reading next and am anxious to get started.

The Breakdown Lane by Jacquelyn Mitchard: This one is pretty good also. It is a book that makes you appreciate your own screwed up, untrainable husband. lol Just kidding, honey!! You're not all that screwed up.

Remember Me by Mary Higgins Clark: A truly messed up book. It is good, and no major surprise at the end. Hmmmm.... Perhaps I won't send this one after all.

Play Dirty by Sandra Brown: I quite liked this one. You definitely fall for the big ol' dumb jock in this page turner.

If I don't send Remember Me, then that will leave one more to send. My coveted book. My all time favorite book on the entire planet. It is called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. Of all my books since my Sweet Dreams collection was ransacked by my tween friends, I have never kept a book so close to me before. I would lend it out, but always knew where it was and remembered to ask for it back. I don't know that I can part with it, but may have to try. If not, then I will send her the title and recommend that she find a copy of her own to love and cherish. Is that wrong? lol

The book I am reading right now is Blind Fear by Lynn Abercrombie. It is another go-get-em murder mystery. I am about half way through this book and then will send it. I am enjoying it so far!

So, that's it. If my partner, Jenna, at Life on the Circle T Ranch reads this she will know what I'm sending. And she will probably be disappointed when she discovers no copy of Redeeming Love in her package. Otherwise, if she hasn't stopped by, ssshhhh... She need never know that I'm holding out!!

One final note, if you have lent me any of these books (Mom, Jody) please know that they are moving on to another happy home. Tee hee....

Clues That Your Six Year Old May Be Watching Bad Shows On TV

The book Olivia wrote this week probably falls under the Parenting 101 category of my poll. Some of you had voted to hear about my failures to make you feel better about yourselves. This one is a doozy, I think, and it is what happens when your six year old just happens to sit quietly on the couch, not being noticed, while her teenage sisters pick the TV shows. Feel free to single click on the picture to see it in all it's horrifying truth, but then don't forget to back arrow to see the rest. (A new window will NOT pop up with the picture.)

Let me translate for you:

She titled it: Bad Kids

This page got cut off. It reads: Me and Danielle went to the park and then bad kids came. Then the bad kids almost got caught but then the bad kids caught me.

Danielle didn't get caught and then she got caught. Danielle was sad.

Then they picked us up. My mom saw us. She was sad.

Then they put us in the grave. Rhonda came to see Danielle's grave.

So, believe it or not, my problem is mostly with this ending. They "poot" these girls in a grave??? And I only came to see Danielle's??? WTF??

Is that possibly Freudian for "My Mom isn't home enough?" Does she think I don't care? Does she think I've forgotten her? Does she think that "Rhonda" would just be sad and not totally crushed beyond belief, and immediately beside her in that grave should anything happen to her?

And lastly, I wonder what the heck her teacher thought when she saw this! Bwahahahahaha! I think I should be expecting a children's services employee at my door very soon.

sigh....

Big Plans, My Friends. Big. HUGE!

Oh, I’m so excited to share this!

I am having a pajama day on Sunday!

So if you had plans for me on Sunday, i.e. church, grocery shopping, birthday party….

FORGET IT!!

This gal might not even take a shower that day.

I know! Gross!

But that’s okay.

I have big plans.

Loud music.

Candles burning.

Reading!

Blogging!!

Cleaning house. (maybe...not)

Movies (from pay-per-view so I don’t have to leave my house of course!)

Chinese food, delivered by my DH.


Ahhhhh….. I cannot wait!

;-)

Lost...

I didn't think it could happen

Didn't even see it coming.

For I've never had any interest in

Long jump, discus or running. (Blah)

But I don't know what to do tonight.

I don't know where to be.

I feel so lost without the 24/7

Olympics coverage on my TV.

It must be the Canadian in this gal

That allowed winter sports to take over my life.

Even my husband is wondering

What the hell has happened to his wife!

For on the edge of my seat I sat

And watched the boarding and skiing.

Only getting up for the essentials,

Like working and sleeping and peeing.

But now? Who will I watch qualify?

And go on to win the gold?

Who will wave their country's flag

And sing their anthem so bold?

I'm almost so addicted that I'm curious

What the 2012 summer will bring.

Maybe I'll be converted there too,

And watch to see who's anthem they'll sing?

For now, though, to my surprise...

The Vancouver Olympics cannot be beat!

I don't know if we can do so well again,

But oh, would it ever be sweet!

So I bid you well Olympics.

And will leave these thanks just for you.

You've made these last few weeks of winter

Much more bearable for this Lemoine crew!