My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Writer's Workshop - Back In Time

I just couldn't get into any of this week's ideas for the workshop, so I went to the very handy "Writer's Workshop" tab and went through Kat's list for some other ideas.

The one I chose was my worst dental experience ever.

I was in college and mainly went for a dental check up before I graduated so that I could still claim it under my parents. (And, of course, being a student, they felt obligated to pay it. Well, that and they knew that I just wouldn't/couldn't. And besides that, my parents just plain old rock.)

I had no tooth pain.

I had no dental issues.

Other than the fact that it had been a while, likely due to my fear of those damned needles they insist don't hurt at all. Uh, hullooh! I grew up with Buddy, my tolerance level is pretty damned high. (But, Buddy, I mean that in the nicest possible way...)

Moving on.

I think this dentist, why don't we just call him Dr. David Mah, seeing as that is a pretty lame-o common name and all, was short on cash, because he insisted I had a tooth that was in desperate need of a root canal.

What the hell?

So, gullible me thought what the hell, my parents are paying for it anyway, and I went along with this whole "root canal" scheme. It got me out of class for a couple of hours, right?

Well, part one went okay. This part one is where they gouge out a nice big hole in your tooth, all the way down to your pelvis, and stuff it full of bleached cotton and leave you like that for a week or so. (It was probably, like, a day or two, but I'm really feeling I need to work the sympathy angle a bit...)

I went back for part two. Which was where they actually fill it in with something and then fill it in some more.

Now normally, they would give you a "this doesn't hurt a bit" "yeah, fuck you asshole" needle and let you sit for 30 minutes while they go to the poor sucker in the next chair so that they can earn enough cash to buy their son a new car.

I did the sit and watch TV route. He came back and discovered, oh, not yet frozen. Let's give you ANOTHER needle that doesn't hurt a bit and let you sit some more. Days of Our Lives was on, so whatev.

He comes back and starts working on my gaping hole. Every time he hits a nerve, I jump.

So he looks at me and asks if I can feel that.

Why yes. Yes, I can.

So he puts another needle down INTO the hole in my tooth. And another. And another.

By now the rest of me is so damned numb I've lost all bladder control and am feeling a bit like a stroke victim. But my tooth? Oh, it was in it for the long haul.

So, after about 10 needles, I kid you not, he looked at me. Just looked at me.

And he said, "I'm sorry. I'll work as fast as I can."

I gripped that remote control so hard, I'm amazed I didn't bust the damned thing in two. His assistant just looked at me, all involuntarily jumping and tears streaming down my face, and says, "Are you okay?".

Huh?

Really?

What do you say to something like that?

Finally my ordeal was over. I handle needles a lot better now. My totally awesome dentist (who is NOT Dr. David Mah, which of course is just some random name I pulled out of my ass) had to give me a needle right in the front of my gum, above my front teeth. He sticks in the needle and it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! So I yelled at him.

I'm older and wiser now, you see.

I called out a great big "Ow! What the hell did I ever do to you?"

To which he laughed.

And I responded, "I can't believe I'm frigging paying you for this!"

So, there you have my worst dental experience. I have advised my new, wonderful dentist that if ever I need any major dental work again, he can push me out the 2nd story window OR in front of a bus (not both, because that would be just cruel), or knock me out. He can take his pick. But Leon does NOT get a say in that.

Have a fabulous day! And don't forget to link up!

5 comments:

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Oh yeah, I feel your pain. I had a similar dreadful experience so haven't been back since, even though I know I have at least one chipped tooth. As long as I am not in pain, I am NOT going to any dentist. They always want you to keep coming back too.

Visiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

Pumpkin Delight said...

Ugh! The dentist is the worse. I love your "paying" response. So true, right!

Stopped by from mama's losin' it

Betty said...

That must have been awful! Can´t imagine how much it hurt. Luckily I have not problem with the anesthetic "taking" on me. Otherwise I´d probably have a mouth full of rotting teeth... :)

Amethyst Moon said...

Ugh! Hate dentists! So sorry anyone ever has to go. And your right: We pay them! WTH?!

wy-not said...

Aw. Did you say your parents rock? Aw. Even though your mama gorbled your finger in a car door? Aw. That dentist experience encapsulates why my teeth are in bad shape. Dentists, spiders, heights - I fear them all.