My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Monday, January 05, 2009

It Turns Out That I'm All Talk And No Action.

And no, I'm not talking about my holiday with my husband.

When something happens that I don't particularly like, I talk. I talk big. And bad. And there are usually lots of unpleasant words. Some are preceded by "I'm gonna...".

But rarely does anything come of my bad-ass attitude.

There was that one road rage episode. And another time when my brother pissed me off at the bar and made me leave early.

And I usually regret hitting "send" before I've taken an hour or a day to calm down and think rationally.

We are women. We are emotional. Freaking out is just what we do. Right Lilly? lol

Lilly's post reminded me of something I thought I would share, and perhaps get some opinions on.

My daughter, Asia, who is 14, and has, well, a not-so-14 year old body, was at the gym by herself about a month ago. The key word here is 14! And while I admit she was wearing her sweats that said "Call me" across her cute little bottom, she is still 14.

She had a couple of "older" guys checking her out. Thankfully they scared the hell out of her when they asked for her phone number, and she told them no and walked away. The continued to check her out the entire time she was there. Guys will be guys, and technically looking at a cute little thing isn't a crime unless it's on a restricted web site or she is tied up in your basement. That would be bad.

On her way out of the gym, another "older" guy with a young child along asked for her phone number. Asia was thinking he was probably early 20's. (My girlfriend was close by and confirmed that he was definitely WAY too old and a little creepy!) She told him she didn't have one. (I'm going to have to work on her lines a little bit I think...)

He was pushing pretty hard for a way to contact her. She told him that we were new to the city and didn't have a phone yet.

AND she told him that she was only 14, and in grade nine.

So now he's asking what she thinks of living here, small talk crap. He even asked how long she has been living in Edmonton, and she replied with "I don't know!" (Okay, now THAT part is pretty funny!)

He then asked if she had a cell phone, to which she replied no.

So, knowing that she is only 14, HE gives her HIS phone number and asks her to call.

My girlfriend was thinking I should phone the police, because clearly this guy needs the shit scared out of him before he approaches some other kid who is not as timid/terrified. I do have his phone number, but have yet to do anything with it. Technically, the sick individual has not done anything wrong. However, he is still a sicko who would have happily taken on with a 14 year old and made it very difficult for her to walk away. I'm incredibly happy that my friend was there!

But short of throwing the sweat pants away, being with her where we can, and doing a whole whack of talking to her, there is probably nothing else we can do.



Lilly's Life said...

You are so related to me in a previous life. Well when my daughter was 14 it was hell on earth. In some ways they are at their most gorgeous and are not truly aware of it. They are also very vulnerable because they are more mature than boys their age and will attract attention from older guys.

Your daughter sounds sensible though and I am so glad she didnt give him her phone number.

Its a tough one. He needs to be scared somehow from approaching underage girls. What if he goes back to the gym looking for her again? Perhaps Leon could ring him. Or you could and warn him that next time you will go to the police. I think it would be illegal.

He was insistent so his intentions were just not to talk to her on the phone. Oh God it brings it all back, the stories I could tell you. You have just got to hope at the end of the day that your daughter makes wise decisions and she fully understands what these guys are trying to do. I guess putting her in a hesian cloth is out, right?

How about capsicum spray or karate lessons - for you I mean.

OK have to tell you this before I go. I do recall chasing a boy around the block trying to catch him once - I had come home and a group of kids were in the house drinking. I got very fit in those days Rhonda!! Lots of chasing boys in the other direction away from our house...

Ronda's Rants said...

I'll take that phone number please...I would like to call him a few things right now!! I think you should turn it over to the police...he will have a file already started probably! Not the first time and certainly not the last he has behaved this way!
When my daughter was 14 she was preforming in a parade as a cheerleader and a guy was saying horrible things to her...I was walking beside her with a water bottle sprinzing her with water becasue it was really hot! I heard what he said to her and I chased him through the crowd spraying him in the face and yelling he was a pervert to anyone who would listen. My Hubby was scared for me but I was mad...I looked him in the face and said she is 14 and you are a pervert! I left him with a cop who was questioning him!!
Give the number to a police officer and let them take it from there!
I had enough trouble with the boys her own age let alone men my age!

Teri said...

This really creeps me out. While girls are generally more mature than boys their own age, they can be a little less than smart when they think they are being flattered by a really cool older guy. My own 15 year old daughter scares the hell out of me. I would call the police and give them that guy's number.

wy-not said...

Rhonda, your blogging friends are so right. Either Leon should call and scare the bee-jezuz out of this perv, or you should just hand the number over to a cop. I would do this with some haste, because this perv has likely already approached other young girls. I thank God that for all of Asia's mature looks, she is still a timid and freaked-out little 14-year-old girl. Thank God.

dlh said...

short of throwing out the pants? Throw out the pants and don't replace them with any with writing across the rear. Also give her a hurricane whistle to wear and tell her to blow it if anyone bothers her, they are extremely loud and scare the beejus out of people. Also have her practice hateful dismissing looks, and teach her not to engage these people in any conversations. If they continue to harass her, teach her to return to the gym desk and make a complaint. But most important of all if someone is making her uncomfortable do not ever walk outside untill they have left. Tell her she might be embarressed but the staff is on the lookout for this kind of behavior and appreciate the information. They do not want their customers uncomfortable. You have to teach her to talk up and refuse to be victim, it's called empowerment. And give the number to the police, your job as a mother is to protect your child any way you can.