My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Dearest Rhonda:

Considering the number of times I have muttered "Note to self" under my breath, I am truly surprised that it has taken 25 years, and a prompt from my Blogese 101 teacher, Mama Kat (yes that is her name) to finally get this done. Yes, just so you know, you are me, at 35, and yes, we still get homework assignments.  Only now they're fun, and optional, which is the kicker.

I'm going to give you the bad news up front. In 25 years, you will still hate your name. Oh, sure. Others can pull it off. It even suits them. But Rhonda Jo is just not flattering.  Oh, and when your mother, oh wait ... OUR mother gets upset over this, we'll just need to remind her of how she has always so LOVED her name. Not.

Okay. That's done. Now let's get to it.

You are starting grade five, if I remember correctly. I'm not going to try to tell you the future, what with the whole time-space continuum and all (WHAT, have you not seen Back To The Future yet?), but I will tell you that this year you start to do something really weird.  You call the boys "You Jerk!" with this horrific high-pitched lilt on the first word.  Natalie Weinke will tell you to keep saying it, cause it's just soooo funny.  Don't believe her.  She wants you to do it because it sounds stupid and people look at you weird.  Girls are BEEEE-OTCHY that way.  Get used to it.  And for the love of God, Please. Stop. Saying. It.  Or, better yet, don't even start.

Next, grade 8 sucks.  Big time. Junior High girls are BEEE-OTCHY!  Get used to it. Oh, and Sonya didn't actually do anything to deserve your wrath.  You were just going with the flow, which makes you one of them. Cut it out. You're nicer than that.

And when you go to Cara's house party in grade nine, DO NOT let Sean convince you that he just wants to work things out and try to be friends. While we know you wouldn't do what they all said you did, alone in that dark bedroom (you idiot, what did you THINK people would say?), he will still delight in spreading rumours that everyone will be thrilled to believe and keep circulating. Even your girlfriends will talk.  They're BEEE-OTCHY that way. Get used to it.

Oh, and when the boys chase you up and down the halls with a lighter aimed at your ass, don't worry.  The zipper on your Quick Zips will NOT actually fall apart in front of THEIR very eyes. I can't believe I fell for that! I certainly hope you won't!

Also, your endless need to be nice, and not draw undue attention to yourself for fear of humiliating yourself or others around you is just silly.  When you fear for your life, which sometimes you honestly did, SCREAM YOUR FOOL HEAD OFF!!! Quit worrying about the feelings of the people accosting you. Sheesh!

It would be really cool, too, if you could get your academic arse in gear and get through high school in three years like everyone else.  There are three grades there. 10, 11, and 12. Not 10, 10.5, 11 and 12. Let's actually DO something with our life. Nursing might have been cool. Interior design? You could be a REAL photographer. With, like, actual knowledge. None of this trial and error crap. (Let's seriously hope that future clients don't get ahold of this letter. hehehe)

Last, Rhonda, you will get your heart broken.  A few times. That's okay too.  It's part of learning and loving and living. And laughing. You do a lot of laughing. You lose that somewhere along the way. Just putting that out there so that when you feel the smile slipping more often, and the laugh getting more forced, you will hopefully remember my warning. Hold onto the "happy" (no, that's NOT a drink, but it totally COULD be) and keep it near and dear. It really sucks to lose it. And eventually you even quit looking for it.

Oh, and slurpees and chocolate are poison. Fatal. Seriously! Don't touch them! 
Sincerely YOU,
Rhonda

Thanks goes to Kat at Mama's Losin' It for making me take a step back and remember "those times". It truly makes me appreciate where I am now!!  lol

This is the best photo of me and Eskimo from my Junior High days. Unfortunately it got a little wrecked, but I still love it.


Grade 7 Pool Party - 1985



The Family in about 1990

22 comments:

Ronda's Rants said...

Loved your post! I have always disliked my name too! It hurts my Mom's feelings because I was named after her brother who was killed in a car accident at 19. His name was Ronald...that's why I have no "H" In my name which is another pain -in-my ass! Creepy guy who I used to babysit his kids when I was 16...used to croon ( and I do mean Crrooooon) to me "Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help me, Rhonda Get her outta my heart... boom boom boom" boom..." ugh so painful! Mine is Ronda Marie and I like the Marie...I gave it to my daughter and now my grandaughter has it as a middle name. Okay...this is a long comment...but my MIL use to say the funniest thing to me...She would say my name sounded prettier w/o the "H" in it! LOL I would just look at my Hubby!
Anyway...Good letter to yourself!

Los said...

Great post, Rhonda - and for the record, I think Rhonda's a pretty cool name ... heck it even has a song or two named after it ... I don't recall any songs named after my name ... as an aside, my first and middle name are the same as a comedian who was really famous in the 50's and 60's (his son was "Meat-head" in All in the Family).

Tiffany said...

Wow, our school years sound pretty similar. Kinda scary! My 20 year reunion just happened a few weeks ago but I had no desire to attend. I still can't believe I survived junior high and high school. Eeks!

Mamahut said...

I love your letter and your pictures. It kinda made my stomach hurt thinking about JR High. Tee hee. If we only knew. I also like your name, mine is Sherrel...now if you have ever been down south it is an African American name...I am not. My sisters name is Dawana...uh huh. It is a royal pain in the butt.
Have a great day!

Shan said...

Your post cracked me up! I don't know anyone that actually likes their name, myself included. Love the pics of the olden days, you are quite the looker!

Tabi said...

Yeah, stomach cringing here too thinking about the school days! And to think our kids have to go through it too. I wouldn't wish that on anybody let alone our children!

wy-not said...

Wow. That's so cool. So, let me get this straight. The homework was to write a letter to yourself in the past, kind of like the country song? I love it. Maybe I'll even do it. I like the pics too. We were all skinnier then, even DAD! Nice work.

Insane Mama said...

middle school kids SUCK BAD!

Emily said...

Oh Rhonda Jo. My mom's middle name is Jo. She has a love/hate relationship with it.
LOVE the pics- such a walk down memory lane, and it's not even my memory! Love it.

Blog Stalker said...

I actually loved Jr High and High School. But boy would I hav eloved to get a letter from my own today's self. I think it's funny how our kids wont listen to us just like we didn't listen to our parents. Maybe I wouldn't even listen to myself. Scary......

What a great post. I seriously will consider copying the concept. I hope you see that as flattery and not Plagery.

Any who, I think Rhonda is a great name. Be happy you are you!

Rhonda said...

Okay, to Ronda: An "h" doesn't change the sound of our name. Your MIL is crazy. AND, I had a doctor that I work for not long ago ask how often I'm asked for help. When met with blank looks, he explained "You know, like Help Me Rhonda!" hahaha! Do these people ACTUALLY think they are funny?

Los: Who is MeatHead? lol

All the others who hated "those years": You would probably be stumped and amused to find out that I have been the instigator/planner of two, count 'em TWO junior high reunions! I think I just needed to see for myself that everyone finally grew up.

Blogstalker: I just think you are totally cool, and I know that at some point, when you DO feel like divulging who you are, it's me you are going to turn to. We've bonded. lol Thanks for your kind comments, and I will watch for your "note to self".

Mom: I thought for sure you would apologize for the whole name fiasco, but apparently not. Sigh.

angie said...

I dont' think I've ever enjoyed a letter to childhood self more. This is fantastic, Rhonda.

MrsWhimsy said...

Middle school should be outlawed. Banned, I say! Growing up, I always disliked my name too. It kind of grew on me though. Great letter!

Krazy Armstrong K's! said...

WOW! I absolutly LOVED your post! I agree about losing the smile... gotta remember to find that! LOVE how you added old pitures! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Oh I love this letter!! I smiled through the whole thing!!!

Melissa said...

I love the post!!! I totally forgot to check Mama Kat on Tuesday, so I missed doing it! I love the pics too, looks like some I have from those years!!

Nancy said...

This. Kicks. Ass. What a great idea!! But...what are Quick Zips?

Noah's Mommy said...

love this post....oh the joy of junior high school...

Jen Sue Wild said...

girl this letter Rocked!!
JR high is so hard on girls I sometimes wonder how we all made it true.

Vickie said...

Girls are mean. I hated my jr and high school time. College life gave me more respect.

Nice letter, thanks for sharing.

sandy said...

Great letter!

Veggie Mom said...

The letter and pixes are wonderful! Are you recycling, since you're down in Sunny Mexico now?