My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Letter to Stupid, Lazy Lifeguard

Dear Stupid, Lazy Lifeguard:

Perhaps you will remember us. We were there on Friday. You were sitting at the top of a short slide when a cute little blonde in a pink bathing suit (get your head out of the gutter – she’s four!) ran up and plopped down onto her tiny little bum and proceeded down the slide you were supposed to be guarding. The slide you were to stop little people from going down.

You were sitting on your duff watching while my sweet little nutball discovered she could not touch the bottom.

You sat there while her arms flailed and she cried and struggled.

You continued to sit, watching, perhaps the fiasco down in the pool below you, or perhaps some little bikini clad thing walking by, while I ran over and jumped into the pool to save my little girl.

I know. I’m her parent.

I know. I’m responsible for her while I am at your waterslide.

I also know. You didn’t do your job.

I know. You didn’t give a damn.

Does it bother you, Stupid Lazy Lifeguard, that my little nutball was scared to go in the water after that? That my fearless freak of nature didn’t want to go down the waterslides by herself?

Do you care that Liv was up last night having nightmares? That in her tiny little four-year-old-person dream, we didn’t get to her on time?

Just so you know; I hate you, Stupid Lazy Lifeguard. I hate you, and by the way, you’re ugly too.

So there.




Evi said...

a-hem...well said...feel better now?

wy-not said...

And just an addendum to that: When I saw this four-year-old nutball yesterday, she looked sadly up into my eyes and said, "Grandma, I drownded in the water, and I cried. My mommy saved me." So, just fyi, I hate the stupid, ugly, lazy lifeguard too. Thank goodness our little chick is okay!

Ronda's Rants said...

Jeepers...I am sorry....I think I met his wretched sister at the hospital yesterday...I am so sorry!

angie said...

Dear Stupid Lazy Lifeguard. I hate you too.

Breanne Vasquez said...

Oh poor girl.

Did you say sometihg to Him then?

O' CanaDad said...

WOW! Was this the slides at winterburn? I may need to boycott them. Wait, my favorite Booster Juice is over there(inside joke).LOL

Melissa said...

Oh my that is scary!!! A little scarier than my boy jumping in the shallow end, still able to keep his face a bit above the water... I live in Florida and there's water everywhere; and it just makes me nervous!!!
About lifeguards-- I honestly don't think they do a darn thing...they sit up there, looking all cool, and not really paying attention to what's going on below!!

Stephanie said...

Hello from your fellow SIT lady! I was a lifegaurd at one time....and let me tell you...I still can not go to the Beach or a pool etc..without feeling like everyone is my responsibility. You should call the park and report him!

Lynda said...

So, how old was the lifeguard...16? It's a shame that's not a job full-grown adults take.

HiHoOhio said...


Karol said...

Holy crap! I would've reemed him a new one! Then spoke to the person in charge! *heart attack*

*thanks for stopping by! *hugs* from a fellow SITSta!

Preston said...

Wow. That boy should not be a lifeguard. Here's hoping it was a summer job and he won't be returning next year.

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a shame that happened to your little girl! You should have reported him; anyone is that oblivious shouldn't be a lifeguard! Found you on SITS.

Meaghan said...

You need to report that guy ASAP. Thank goodness you are a good responsible parent and were also watching, if not this could have had a devastating outcome

Abounader Photography said...

Seriously, someone should be fired and then the universe should leave him helpless when he needs someone eles's help!!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

People aren't hired to do their job. They're hired because, well,...who knows why they're hired, but it's not to do their job. I'd love to meet his mother.

Great letter, SITSta, and I love that zing at the end.

Emily said...

Wow. That guy should totally have gotten fired!! I hate him too and I don't even know him or you!

Veggie Mom said...

Hey there, SITSta! Gotta Super-Duper Giveaway that's Goin' On over at my place...please stop by when you have the chance!

Rachael said...

Here from SITS - that made me MAD just reading it! Jerk.

Anonymous said...

lifeguards are lazy I struggled in the rapid river thing at our local pool I was clinging to the wall and one of the stupid lifeguards blew her whistle and said don't hold on to the wall I was going under the water and frightened only one lifeguard done anything about it she pulled me out by my hand. this is not the only thing that happened in our local pool a 7 year old drowned and was lying at the bottom of a pool which had been covered apparently no one noticed i think lifeguards are too lazy