To all you blog hoppers - Don’t underestimate the severity of depression … we did.

Often I lie awake at night and wonder:
How deep and dark and lonely was that pit, that death was the only option?
How could stopping your breath be better than waking up in the morning?
Did she have a cup of tea first?
Was she calm? Relieved? Just plain tired?
Was she in a frantic rush, so as not to get caught this time?
Was it fair for her to cherish that last night with the man she loved, and not share what she knew so that he could do the same?
Did she know his heart would be shattered?
Did she have any clue that all these "if only's" would haunt our dreams?
Did she know, deep down, that we loved her? Her smile. Her laugh. The breath of fresh air that she was.
It still seems so unreal.
But it's not.
It happened.
I hope she is somewhere in the light. Is there a light? Who knows.
I hope, if there is a heaven, she is there.
I hope it's nice. I hope she is happy.

Liv - our little fire fighter

Suicide Awareness March September 8, 2006

Ready to leave for the march. Starting at the Royal Glenora Club and walking up the hill to the eternal flame at the Leg grounds.


The banner that Shelley's picture was on. She was joined by two brothers, both at 17, three years apart, who committed suicide. One in 1999, the other in 2002. They also had three cousins kill themselves within those same three years. There was a son and brother of another family on there. Another was a 15 year old boy who shot himself in his bedroom. His Dad was home at the time and heard the gun shot and had to kick his door down to get to him. His name was Rory, and a bus load of his classmates came for the march from Westlock.


Off we go.


Buddy carrying one side of Shelley's banner.

Calaway Park September 3, 2006

Long Lake with our Marriage Group

Okay, so here are some photos of our weekend. First off, I must say that I enjoyed my solo time. Leon went ahead with all three girls on Tuesday. I followed on Thursday evening. We bought Dianne and Gord's tent trailor so it wasn't as ugh! as tenting. Still not my favorite past time, but it was bearable. (Too see the picture better, just double click on the picture, then arrow back)


The new tube ... for kids only!


Leon and Jay


Asia skiing against her will!


Cassie cutting on ONE SKI!!!


Rob and Richelle's little Olivia


Enjoying the boat!


Two of my favorite bums.


Another favorite bum


Mr. Ringo

GREAT MOM

great mom

wednsday July 16th 2006
12 and a half years ago i was born into a wonderful family.mom i just wanted to tell you how great of a mother you are and if i had to pick another mom i wouldn't do it. Mom sometimes we fight and don't like that but together we can change that.I will work on my adittude and you can work on how tough you are on me, and you tone of voice.If we we have a problem me and you will sit down and talk about it anyways that's not what i wanted to tell you.I just wanted to tell you how great of a mother you are,and how much i love you.Sorry i never say,so i'm saying right now,I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.And i am so glad God brought me into your life.I can tell you this much i can't be more happy to in your life today.(i have no clue if this note thingy makes any sense so if it doesn't i will ake a fool out of myself.


I LOVE YOU!!
ASIA!!!!!!!!

Wedding bookings

Well all, my June 2007 is now full. I am very excited! I've got Lisa's wedding on Aug 5 and Nicole's on Sept 30, so more will be posted soon.

A tribute to Shelley

Shelley Alexandra Lappenbush Gordon
July 15, 1964 - July 10, 2006

Four and a half years ago, a bright light walked into our lives. Buddy introduced her as Shelley. She was an absolute joy to be around and a welcome addition to our family. She was the sister my parents neglected to give me. She was soft-spoken and sincere. She would ask how you are, and mean it. And she would really care about your answer. She was, quite honestly, the nicest person I have ever known. She is in the family portrait, and there she will remain. She was our heart and soul. She was Buddy's best friend. We will miss her and cherish her memory forever.

She left this world in a way unbefitting a warm soul. Someone who smiled and laughed and loved. Who held kitty cats, and snuggled babies. Who had a big, strong man who loved her and supported her the best he could. Who held her during the last few weeks of trial and upheaval and uncertainty and told her the last three words he will ever share with her. I love you.

In these situations there are so many emotions. There is shock. There is anger. There is sadness. There is disappointment. But there is also so much love. Many may be asking themselves, "Why couldn't I see it?" Please know that in Shelley's own words she asks us not to feel responsible. There is nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.

So go ahead and feel disappointment over a life too short. Sadness for the ones left behind, but also for Shelley. Put away your guilt. It won't bring her back anyway. Miss her, because you won't be able to do otherwise. And love her. Just love Shelley for the ray of sunshine that she was!

well, it's been awhile

Needless to say, my first comment is "Way to go Oilers on that fabulous run!" I have to admit, that i have become a hockey fan. I'm going to have to apologize to my gender, I'm afraid. I guess there is something to hockey after all. Who knew that a bunch of men with no teeth, skating around in what looks like a great big diaper, chasing a little black puck, and slamming each other into the boards could be so much fun.
Thanks to Diniz and Lynne of course for putting up with us through four of the games. It's so much more fun to watch it with friends!
Leon is in Fort McMurray until probably Thursday sometime. The children are driving me nuts ....... Oh wait, they were doing that even before he left. I think, actually since birth!
Have a good day all!

hmmmmm.....