Is It Getting Hot In Here, Or Is It Just Me - And 800 Other Women...

For your viewing pleasure, Leon's 2011 Fireman Calendar Tryouts that went on last weekend. He got first place competing against 22 other firemen. I highly recommend you watch it with your sound up. The music is essential to the show - as is my mother's laughter!! lol

Laughter Is Always The Best Medicine.

1.) I sometimes laugh when I’m uncomfortable…or being yelled…or in church…or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

I'm a little late in my writer's workshop post. Life, and Facebook's Family Feud has gotten in the way of my blogging. But better late than never, though, and can you believe that I'm going to write about something other than Asia?

I definitely laugh at inappropriate times. Two in particular come to mind.

First was during Christmas Eve service at Leon's family's catholic church. Let me just say that I don't do silent, serious moments well. And even worse for me are catholic church moments. Even in my lowest moments, I will come up with something off the wall to lighten the mood. Now if something funny happens in one of these situations, I'm just screwed. I will laugh without ceasing for embarrassing lengths of time.

Church service was just starting and they were doing their processional down the middle of the church, the alter boys following behind the priest. They got to the dais, or alter, whatever, and one of the alter boys tripped on his little white dress thingy as he was going up the stairs. He stumbled up a couple of the steps and caught himself. I thought it was hilarious.

And then he tripped again.

And I basically just freaking LOST it. I laughed the entire hour. Leon's mom elbowed him and told him to tell me to get it together. Ha. Fat chance. It was by far my favorite Christmas Eve church moment.

The other time was actually when we were meeting with the minister for our wedding. Harold was my family's church's minister and thankfully he was very down to earth and pretty cool. Again, a serious, quiet discussion in his tiny little office.

For no reason at all, I started to laugh. I know it was nerves. But that didn't help to stop. I had tears streaming down my cheeks. My face was contorted into that awful look a person gets when they are trying their darnedest to stop laughing.

It was ugly.

And embarrassing.

Everyone was worried I wouldn't be able to get through the wedding without imploding. I did, however, thanks to the various moments during the ceremony when we could all laugh off the tension. Like the big "Yeehaw" when I came down the isle, jamming the ring on Leon's finger with full sound effects and wee Asia clapping her hands and saying "yay!" after we were pronounced husband and wife.

Knowing me, there have been plenty of other "moments". I do laugh a lot. Usually uncontrollably. Usually late at night. And usually at my husband's expense. Tee hee.

Okay, Now I'm Just Angry

I think I'm going about this in totally the wrong order, but whatever. I never have done things quite right. And I'm sure the subject of my ire will confirm that whole heartedly.

I'm angry.

I'm angry that she thinks she is such a victim.

I'm angry that she seems to hate us for no reason. (Unless you can consider opportunity, encouragement, love and a nice trip to Florida no reason.)

I'm angry that she is putting us through this.

I'm angry that she is just a selfish little brat who doesn't have a clue.

I'm angry that she thinks we owe her.

I'm angry that she can thrive in another woman's home while being nothing but hateful in mine.

I'm angry that we're having to put on smiles and pretend that everything is okay while our hearts are breaking.

I'm angry that she is still running my house when she no longer even lives in it.

I'm angry that she was so mean to her Dad when he was just going to the school to pay for HER bus pass.

I'm angry that she wants to use us and make demands and she thinks that this is okay.

I'm angry that she has told her Gramma and Godmother to leave her the hell alone.

I'm angry that she has so little respect for herself and her family.

I'm angry that she doesn't see that having friends who are okay with the way she is acting means that she needs to pick her friends better.

I'm angry because while she is happy as can be and apparently doing well, I can't see that for myself.

I'm angry that she has taught her sisters that running away is okay. Because it is so clearly not.

I'm angry that she phones just so she can pick fights and make demands and that she succeeds in making me feel lousy.

I'm angry that this is taking all my energy and the result is that I'm probably not the mother I should be to my other kids.

I'm angry.

I'm just plain old fucking angry.

I Wish There Was A Chapter In The Instruction Manual For This One

Asia came to visit Livvy today. She waltzed in like nothing happened.

Like she didn't just get kicked out of school and choose to run away when I tried to talk to her about it.

Like we didn't just go three days without hearing from her.

Like we are so completely in the wrong that we should have welcomed her with open arms.

I couldn't do it. To be honest, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

I've never been in this situation before.

But I get the feeling that I should figure out how to handle it really quickly.

Because it is probably going to happen again.

And again.

And again.

Because we will never be allowed to parent her.

And we can't not parent her.

So where does that leave us?

What's Your Status?

Some people are very vocal about what they think of facebook and status updates.

Some think it is a waste of time. Others quite happily keep up with your life via your status.

You can be funny. I have a past client who is an absolute HOOT on his status reports. For example, "I used to be schizophrenic. But we're okay now." Whenever he updates, you know it's going to be good.

You can be controversial if you choose. You want opinions on abortion or divorce or politics, put it in your status.

You can just plain old let people know what's going on in your day. "I'm off to the dentist. Yuck."

Some think that you should never put anything negative in your status, because people shouldn't have to see that you're having a bad day, or that you're sad. "Go to a therapist" was that person's general opinion. And if your status updates are routinely negative, then yes. You just might need a therapist. Sorry 'bout that.

Last night I updated my status to read:

"If anyone is FB friends with Asia and you see she's in a tight spot, please remind her that she is always able to come home. We're choosing the tough love option, but it's hard. I pray that she stays safe and makes smart choices."

The support poured in. I had comments on my status. I had personal messages.

To me, right now, my status update is my support system. That is the amazing thing with it. Friends and acquaintances sharing their own stories with me. Just sending a cyber hug. Words of encouragement.

I don't feel so alone.

Thank you, my friends.

Wordful Wednesday

As I posted yesterday, I think I would be quite happy to do this full time. The problem for now is the evenings and weekends the job entails. While the kids are young and Leon is a shift worker, I am a little stuck in the 9-5 grind. I'll keep doing this part time for now. To keep my head in the game.

One day, though.... This will be what I do full time.

And I can't wait!

I don't have an abundance of self confidence. I'm not a go-getter. And I'm a bit of a chicken.

But I have to tell you that I would love to take this photography gig to the next level. I love to do it and I usually love the results. I love the products I offer my clients. I love that they are happy with their pictures.

What I love most, though, is that most of my clients have come to be friends. I have clients on facebook. I see pictures that I have taken for them as their profile pictures. I look at the facebook photos and see in the background my work on their walls.

It's a great feeling.

I have clients that come back year after year. Even when I tried to convince one of them to go somewhere else, SHE had faith in me that I just didn't have in myself. (I don't do 'baby' pictures well, which is what she was needing... lol)

Now I know that I'm not overly artsy. I don't have time to take courses and learn all the new-fangled things that photographers are doing now. But what I do give is nice photos, fun photo shoots and good quality albums for a fair price.

And we have fun. And we stay in touch. And I think that rocks.

I'm so incredibly lucky!

And I just thought I would share that with you today.

Mother's Day - A Review

My facebook status yesterday was something along the lines of "I wonder how many moms are busting their asses today so they can have the 'day off' tomorrow?" Most people responded that they, too are cleaning house. If that is normally something you would tinker away at on Sunday, then it stands to reason that it is something your family will do for you on Sunday. Otherwise, it's really not that special, is it?

Now personally, cleaning house is more of an every second, third or even fourth Sunday event. So, technically, I could argue that it actually would have been done today. I would totally have been full of crap, and even I know it, so I did it yesterday. Just because. But it did feel good to have an almost clean house today.

So, not only did I have a cleanish house this morning, I woke to the pitter patter of little size 1 feet making their way to my room. I opened my eyes to a sleepy little blonde who still had her thumb in her mouth (she's my baby, don't judge me) who announced "It's Mother's Day!" I was treated to a great big hug before she went to snuggle with the dog.

Asia came in and said "What's the weather supposed to be like today?". Then "Do we have school tomorrow, or is Mother's Day a long weekend?". Bless her heart.

Leon got me tickets to our local dinner theatre and is even letting ME decide who to take....

I got up and plunked myself in front of the computer for a bit. Then we got ready and headed out for breakfast at Humpty's. I had a delightful breakfast of an apple cinnamon cheddar omelet and in Lemoine style, guessed correctly at the total bill. I'm so awesome. We are so classy, we even tell the waitress what we are doing. Yup. Thankfully she doesn't hear us discuss how the hell we're going to pay for it.

Then it was time for the zoo! Our tiny little Edmonton zoo. It was fun. We only got a couple of hours there, but it was a good time, and they had a spa set up to give moms mani's and massages. Deeeeelightful! We waited and watched for Lucy the elephant. (Yes, the same one that Bob Barker has been spouting off about for the last year or so.) She was out walking the grounds with her trainer of 21 years and sadly did not come back for her spa treatment mud bath until we had to hurry back to mom and dad's for our Mother's Day BBQ and my brother's 40th birthday.

Shortly after 2pm we were speeding toward my old stompin' grounds to pick up Asia's boyfriend and go to Mom and Dad's. We enjoyed a wonderful lupper (lunch/supper) and sang to my incredibly old brother, then were making our way to Leon's parent's house for more BBQ'd goods.

The day finished with a giggling little tiny person refusing to go to sleep, and was topped off with a chocolate coffee toffee frosty from Wendy's. Yumm!

I hope your Mother's Day was equally wonderful!

Happy Mother's Day

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up...

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.....



The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything!

14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn't have a clue..

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.




The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Society Embarrassed by Aging

Really?

Here's the article.

Obsession with youth appears in obituaries

There is a big increase in the use of decades-old photos showing the deceased as a strapping soldier or fresh-faced bride instead of the senior citizens most were when they died.

Photograph by : Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images

Shannon Proudfoot, Canwest News Service

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Our obsession with youth is obvious where least expected, new research suggests -- in the obituary pages.

In a new study, Keith Anderson, a social-work professor at Ohio State University, combed through four decades of newspaper obituaries and the photographs accompanying them.

He found a big increase in the use of decades-old photos showing the deceased as a strapping soldier or fresh-faced bride instead of the senior citizens most were when they died.

Anderson sees this as evidence of our society's growing obsession with youth and inability to see beauty in age.

"We don't select our own obit photographs in general, but the families do. It does point to what the families see as mom or dad at their best," he says. "As a society, I don't think we see someone who's 80 years old as at the prime of their life, which is a sort of ageist perspective."

Suzanne Scott, executive director of the Funeral Service Association of Canada, says funeral directors she spoke with believe it has more to do with families choosing a photo that represents the best of their loved one's life.

Anderson found that death at an older age made it more likely a younger photo would be chosen and women were twice as likely as men to have age-inaccurate photos, which he says points to the "double jeopardy" of ageism and sexism faced by older women.

© The Vancouver Province 2009

I think that your loved ones will post a picture of you at a time when YOU felt your best.

A young, strapping soldier, defending his country. Short of being a husband and probably father, THOSE were his years. That is what he was proud of.

A picture of a young woman, in her nursing degree photo. A time when education wasn't important for women, and she probably had to work extra hard for what she got. Perhaps those were her best years.

I don't think a family looks at photos of their dearly departed and thinks, "Ew! Look at her age spots! We can't use that ugly thing!"

Personally, when I go, use a young picture of me. I don't like me right now. I would hate that THIS was a person's last impression of me. Use a picture where I was young, slim, pretty, carefree, and yes, happy. With no bags under my eyes or jowls like my English Mastiff. These extra 40 pounds are torture. Please, if I die tomorrow, don't use a now picture.

And for that matter, only play '80s songs. Because clearly I'm okay with living in the past.