My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Say What??

Okay, so I'm just going to come out and say it.

My family is crazy.

And I'm the sane one. So what does that tell you?

Seriously. I said that to Leon last night and he looked at me. Deadpan.

And I thought, WTF??

For the first 8 years I was monotone, even-tempered and b*o*r*i*n*g.

In other words, I was a doormat.

And that gets tiring.

And it hurts. Because no one ever notices your sacrifices.

So eventually I said fuck it.

Because I wanted a life too.

So now, I'm busy from working a full time job +.

I'm back to parenting three kids through tension so thick a machete can't cut through it.

And I've learned that to get anything done, I have to nag just a little bit.

Boiling over inside because no one was lifting a finger wasn't helping anyone.

Anger issues? Um. Yeah. It's called being busy, tired and stressed out.

And if someone takes me out in soccer I want to retaliate by destroying their knee caps. You have a problem with that?

And just FYI, having moods that consist of anger, sadness, joy and blah is not a mental illness.

At least that's what all the little voices in my head are telling me.

8 comments: said...

hugs! glad you have found an approach to life that you can live with... hugs and hope that you get some 'me time' to unwind and decompress from the stress and busy-ness

wy-not said...

Some people lose themselves so completely in motherhood that when the little darling grow up and move on, they can't cope. You will never have that problem. It's vitally important to always be the person you are. I discovered when you kids were small that the real person I am is a nagging, screaming, selfish, bossy, worrisome shrew. And I never had a problem with that. Now it's your turn. Who are you? FInd out and hang on to that. And don't worry about Asia. She's a little French-German-Scandinavian crossover kid with a hot head. She'll come around because she's well loved and she knows it. :)

Anonymous said...


Betty said...

Being sane is boring!

Rhonda said...

I agree Betty. The loony bin is THE place to be! lol

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Crazy is the new black. Embrace the darkness.

lisleman said...

Someone should explain to them that taking the dishes to the sink or dishwasher is much better than letting you get a hold of them because those dishes might start flying across the room. Same idea with setting any knives out on the dinner table. In fact keeping you out of the kitchen all together might be safer.

Teri said...

Yeah, I've been experiencing that same anger. The doormat thing, I can relate. Do you ever wonder how in the world you let yourself get to this point? I get angry at myself for letting it happen. Ugh.