My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

I Really Hate It When You Walk Into The Bathroom To Find A Coworker On The Toilet.

It's so true what they say about that "gut feeling", that "sixth sense". Oh so true, in fact, that you should listen to the damned thing.

I seriously had doubts when I was pushing the bathroom door open at work today. Part of my little brain registered that someone not overly concerned with the hospital electric bill and current need to cut costs left the lights on.

Next was just the fact that I was turned away as I was opening the door, perhaps subconsciously shielding myself and my victim from what was to come.

My third clue was the little "oh!"

I turned to see a co-worker, granted not one I know well, just from seeing her in the halls, as she shrunk to her tiniest self and she said "I swear I locked the door!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned and walked away without a word.

I then went back to my office and explained to my peeps to make sure the door is locked when they go to the biffy. Apparently our lock is broken again.

Like, I swear, HOURS after I heard the bathroom door close and I knew she was out, I went back, knocked and peaked, ever so gently, into the bathroom. I then tried the lock several times myself before I was confident enough to risk my pride and go to the bathroom.

I seriously pushed my pee out so hard I think I ejected my uterus - which is actually fine by me, because I'm done with it anyway, and from a preventative medicine perspective, it gives me one less place for cancer to inhabit - but I made it out without being anyone's peep show.

So, now, I ask you, W*H*A*T do I do when I see her tomorrow or the next day. Do I make light of it and say "Fuck, I hate it when that happens!" Do I apologize?? Do I instruct her on our finicky lock? Direct her to a bathroom down the hall with a code AND dead bolt?

How on earth do I handle this incredibly awkward moment????


Arielle Lee Bair said...

I think you just move right along. She's probably wishing it never happened and probably hoping to God it never gets mentioned again. So do her the favor and don't mention it. :) That's what I'd prefer if it were me!

KK said...

I'd pretend it never happened! We have stalls, but last week a man walked into the women's restroom! Now that was fun. I ran out to check that I was actually in the right place!

wy-not said...

The vote thus far is unanimous. Let your brain forget it ever happened, which is exactly what that other lady wants both of you to do. It happened to me on a cruise once, only I was the walked-in-on person. Pants down, bare arse and all. Cruise ship locks are weird and it was my fault. I prayed hard that I would never see that other woman again. And I didn't. Lucky me.

Betty W said...

ROTFL!! hahaha, don´t you just HATE when that happens! :) I laughed out loud imagining you on the toilet trying to pee fast! hahaha
When you see that lady again, just ignore it. Act as if nothing happened! That´s what I´d do.
(And I wrote this before I read the other comments,so I guess we all agree)

Bill Lisleman said...

I think ignoring it is best.
But I have another question - about those pictures - did you have any problem finding those? I mean with all the freaks on the net and all, searching for toilet images might produce some strange stuff. Come to think of it I have not been a reader of your blog for very long time so maybe I should check out your other posts. I like the storm trooper one because it shows how vulnerable they are.

Controlling My Chaos said...

I would seriously just pretend it never happened. Yikes! It could've been worse though, it could've been your boss.

Rhonda said...

OMG Iisleman, that is hilarious about the vulnerable storm trooper!! lol Seriously LOL over here!

And yes. Walking in on my boss would have been worse!!!! I didn't think of it that way...

Bree Shaw said...

i am with everyone else.... when you see her just talk to her like you would any other time and act like it didn't happen. maybe you should put a note on the bathroom door that says lock doesn't work very good so please knock before entering. that might save everyone some embarrassment.