If I was my dog, I would sleep on the tile laundry room floor on these hot, hot nights. In fact, I may just do that anyway.
If I was a carpenter ant, I would beware of the crazy lady wielding the can of Easy Off oven cleaner. That shit is DEADLY!
If I was my husband, I would tear apart the house on a whim....
If I was Olivia, I would happily run around naked also!
If I was a smoker, I would get "smoke breaks" throughout the day that wouldn't count as actual coffee breaks, and still get all my coffee breaks and my lunch break. (Why is that??)
If I was Olivia, I would yell out "Hulloh, nnnnayber!" to everyone that drives by.
If I was the bank, I would totally love me right now!
If I was Asia, I would be enjoying Day One at cheer camp in Seattle.
If I was Cassie, I would be disappointed that mom is too busy typing out her post to come and read together. (Don't worry, I plan on surprising her in a few minutes!)
If I was my dog, I would have been too stupid to notice the lack of fence and missed my opportunity to make a run for it!
If I was me, I would totally have misjudged how (really really really) bright the yellow was that I picked for Asia's room, and will hope that the polka dots I am adding will tone it down a little bit.
If I was Leon, I would be working a 24 hour shift tomorrow and would be extremely happy about getting away from this crazy, upside down house!!
If I was at the Big Valley Jamboree this weekend, where the stage collapsed and people were seriously injured, and one even died, I would still be shaking in my boots!
If I was you, I would be bookmarking my blog and coming back tomorrow for the book review I have been promising.