My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

My Kids Are Driving Me Insane!

I'm thinking it could be spring fever. They want to get their asses kicked outside, but they just don't know it yet. It's in their subconscious, just waiting to come out.

Either that, or they get their asses kicked against their will. They are smart enough to at least pretend to want it.

Even my amazing, wonderful, cute five year old is not herself. 

For example. This morning she woke up before anyone else (except "poor" Leon, who had to work) and I asked her very nicely to go back to bed, or play quietly in her room until everyone else was awake.

Do you know what my sweet little Olivia said to me?


Some might not sweat that. But this is Olivia. The almost perfect wee child.

I said again, "Olivia, go to your room and play quietly until we are all up."


She proceeds to go and bother Cassie. I came out and found her on the couch, with a clearly challenging look on her little face.

My first thought was, "Oh, God. Please don't let her start testing her boundaries, and begin to falsely believe that she is an independent person who is allowed her own thoughts. Please?" 

I need to keep Olivia sweet. And cute. And nice. And quiet.

"Lord, I have teenage daughters to survive. Remember?"

She still refused to listen. And so the morning began with me hauling one little five year old off to the bathroom to pry the liquid soap handle in between those tightly squeezed little lips.

And then she got her butt smacked. 

And was sent to her room.

And then the very sisters who yesterday called her a brat and a bitch and told her they couldn't stand her came out of their own rooms to be her knights. 

Her champions.

Her pains in my ass.

I ask you, is it okay that her sisters can discipline her and be mean to her all. the. time. and yet I can't parent my own child?

I think not!

And, because I know you're wondering, Olivia did not get any better. It was a continuation of Sunday's Olivia. THAT picture will be airing on Wednesday for Wordful Wednesday.

The caption will read:

Easter Egg Hunt Bitch Slap Session.

What fun!


KatBouska said...

Oh man you don't take ANY crap!! I'm surprised she would test you like that knowing what the reprecussions might be!

Betty said...

Don´t you just hate those days that start like that...! I´m sure it´s the spring fever, because you really have had a long winter!
Can´t wait to see the comments on Wed.´s picture. Should be good. :))

Melissa said...

Oh I am!!!! Except mine is a 3 (almost 4) year old; who is constantly challengin my authority...and when I discipline/time-out/spank her, she tells me "mommy. you hurt my made my feelings sad" hmmm... does she think I care?? (well, I do...but not at that moment... is that bad??) :)

Ronda's Rants said...

See...I can't remember Mommy stuff at all...I am a Gigi now and I am siding with your daughter...
My grandson wanted me to buy him an Easter bike...because you know all the kids get Easter bikes...I laughed so hard!

wy-not said...

Oh babe! I hope it helps you to know how normal your kids are. Cuz they are. Normal. In every way. Don't give up on them. What they're doing could be so much worse, and they need to keep challenging you just to figure out where the boundaries are - so they can keep moving them. One day they'll move right out of your house, and your pajama party will be over. Trust me, honey, that IS a sad, sad day. And at least Olivia waited till she was five. This could have started when she was only 2. Sometimes it does. :-)

Rhonda said...

A note to my mother:

The "sometimes it does" comment had me shaking my head and rolling my eyes at you.

I am the mother of Cassidy.

Remember her?

She's the one who got grounded from public when she was but a babe.

Houdini'ed herself out of her carseat and into the back of my van without my knowledge.


She is the one who covered herself in vaseline and flour while I tried to run a garage sale.

She is the one that NOBODY could handle.

I totally know what CAN happen. Olivia has just spoiled us, that's all! lol

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

My sweet youngest child is now 8 years old and mouthy as hell. I don't know where she gets it from. (ha!)