My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
Warning

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My blog.
The opinions herein are mine.
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Monday, September 15, 2008

Tickle Me Monday!

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!" Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."




Walking through the jungle an
Elephant meets a naked man.
The elephant slowly looks the
Man up and down and says,
'How the hell do ya
Feed yourself with that?'


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.




Today is International Disturbed People's Day
I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus
or occasionally pee on yourself..
You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special



14 comments:

Candid Carrie said...

Regarding the man/elephant picture:

I would have sworn that was a picture of my ex-husband (he who shall not be named) except the man in the photo had larger junk for a trunk!

Thanks for the early morning chuckles, grins and giggles!

Blog Stalker said...

Way to start off the week.

With a smile!

Have a great day!

Blog Stalker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Oh how nice to enjoy a laugh on this sad Monday! Thanks babe!

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh I do love funnies!!!
Thanks for a great start to my week!

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh I do love funnies!!!
Thanks for a great start to my week!

Ronda's Rants said...

Okay...I did not post that twice...I am not that special!

Tulsi said...

I just re read you "about me" thing. Mikele sucked her thumb until she was 31/2 We put the thumbsucking medicine on her thumb. It was so bad I almost gave it back to her. When Kass had his binky until about the same age, I told him that when he got to big his binkies would taste bad. I put thumb med. on all 10 of his binkies and laid them around the house. He would pop one in and then spit it out. After hours of trying this he told us he was to old. Easy to break. Mik wasn't so easy.

Shan said...

Those were funny, I love the In Laws one.

Betty said...

LOL! Thank you. I needed a laugh. I love the one about the in laws. I´m mad a my husband right now, so it fits perfectly!

Amy said...

Those are hilarious! Check out my blog to pick up your award :D

Mamahut said...

Just what I needed tonight thanks Miss Rhonda!

angie said...

Oh my gosh......you know how to start off the week with a bang. :)

Krazy Armstrong K's! said...

Thanks for the laugh! I love it!!!