My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Eating Candy Destroys Your Brain Cells!

Yes, my friends. I'm afraid that's true. I actually thought I lost them all to my children-in-utero! However, it seems that we (I say we hoping that I'm not the only one out there!) truly do end up stupid from sugar.

We buy into magic pills.

We get suckered into fad diets.

We pay a fortune to shed these pounds by purchasing diet foods that, if you really investigate, are only changing the portion size on the label. And the product weight is less by half. For the same price, and sometimes even more.

We go to weekly weigh-ins that provide us with much social stimulation and not a whole lot of actual information. But, hey, the group usually goes out to eat after! So that's all good.

We think that going hungry for one day corrects all the damage we've done by eating garbage food all week.

We use humour to cover up how miserable we are inside. I don't think it works. It just makes skinny people uncomfortable. Which is also fun, don't get me wrong. For example: Leon had to play four games of baseball yesterday. By the fourth game he was suffering pretty bad - he's getting old ya know - and the guys asked him if he had a piano tied to his ass while he was running the bases? So I said to him "Did you tell them, 'No, I left my wife at home.'?"

He didn't like that.

People, I am seriously miserable here.

I have two chins, an awful round face, back rolls, big arms, a ginormous ass. My joints hurt, my shoes don't fit. I hide out in my house - which isn't helping my activity level - and I especially don't go somewhere I might see someone I know.

What's worse is that I know my stuff. I could practically train someone I know so much about it. So why aren't I doing it?

My willpower stinks. 
My taste buds are spoiled rotten. 
The number is daunting. 
My guilt at having more me-time, even after 13 years of everyone-but-me time. 
I'm not a morning person, but am too tired at the end of the day to exercise. 
Whatever would I wear?

What started this whole rant of mine was, of course my weight, but also I saw a link to register for free meal planning and exercise routine. This is that Jillian somethingorother from the Biggest Loser. So, I thought HEY! Sounds good! (I talked to a trainer here and he charges $700 for a 10 week program! $$Ouch!)

So I go through and enter my info. Answer the quesitonaire. Find out my body type and how my body type burns, or in my case, doesn't burn, it's energy/calories. It's all looking really great until I get to "Only $4 per week with a minimum five week registration!"

Hmmmm. Okay. I thought that free meant, oh, I don't know .... FREE?

Exit. Exit. Exit.

So that is essentially what started my post. Does she really think that just because I'm fat, I have no brain? That I've forgotten what free meant? That I would be so excited by what she is certain she can make of me, that I would just sign up anyway?

So I showed her. I'm not joining her "free" program.

I went out and got a slush and chocolate bar instead.

I'm not stupid.

(Oh, but I am heading out to the gym tomorrow. I've reached my low point - which is a necessity for any weight loss program. Wish me luck....)


Ronda's Rants said...

I do wish you luck!! I am trying to get better...I am a former skinny girl, well no more! I just want to be healthy and not miserable feeling. I walk three miles a day but I want to start some kind of exercise program...just not sure yet which! Good for you!

amelia bedelia said...

I am right there with ya! seriously! we talk about it all the time, and you are taking the inicitive and I am following. I will email you tonight, Im at work.

Veggie Mom said...

I believe you. I really do. But I'll probably still stop at the store and get a Hershey's bar after school today!

Mamahut said...

You are not alone my friend. I live so far from town and I really have enough jobs to keep a guy working for a I try to do them myself. That is after all when I got chunky, when I quit working. Picture this: I am going to put in my own spinkler's double what it was the first time. It sounded like a cow in calving season out there in those little tiny ditches. All of the grunting and sweating going on.
It is not pretty but we do what we gotta do right? Next I have to build fence...straight up and down a hill. 911 may have to get involved.

Shan said...

I could have written this post word for word, except for the husband part. Someone told me not too long ago to take it one day at a time, not sure if it works or not I only did it for one day.

wy-not said...

Oh baby girl, you are breaking my heart. You could have written this blog straight out of my life. I would have done anything to spare you this experience. Anything, apparently, EXCEPT raise you with a deep love of early mornings, long walks, spinach, running, wheat grass juice and weight lifting. (I myself am a weight lifter. I lift weights every time I get out of a chair. Do you see a picture attached to my ID here? No, didn't think so.)

Betty said...

Good luck! Good luck! I hear you!! I just went though the same emotions and started another diet journey on Sept. 1st. Not doing so great though....willpower is something I lack as well! And I hate vegetables!

RhondaLue said...

Good Luck Rhonda! I've actually put myself on food lockdown this week WITH nightly exercise. I'm impressed with myself for the past 3 days.

Don't ya just wish we would only BE fat on the days we ate poorly and didn't exercise and the day we eat good and exercise is a skinny day. If only there were instant results I'd never fail! It's a never-ending battle for sure. We just gotta keep gettin' up and gettin' movin.

Candid Carrie said...

S T O P ! ! !

Woman, you are beautiful. I love your soul, your writing, your wrinkles and your rolls. I love your flabby arms and your turkey-type neck (sorry, I am just assuming here). You are a sum of all your parts. And I love your parts.

Delete this post because I said so! You are a woman, a warrior, a writer and a wife. Shame on your husband for using sarcastic humor at your expense. Not only is it naughty, it is a sin.

If you want to get in shape to add years to your life, take it slow. Fads don't work and you know it, you wrote about it yourself.

If you want to get in shape for the health of it, I can give you my phone number In The Real World and you can call me anytime and we can chat your way through the low times and eat a moderate amount of M&Ms together during the high times. Internationally!

But I am not going to let you put your self-esteem in the toilet like this!

Please love you, I do. And by speaking like this about yourself contradicts everything the mental health authorities have already proven: this does not promote good body image for your daughters when you don't love your own person because the outside package isn't perfect.

Now, if you were here I'd be hugging you and we'd both be crying because you know I am right and I love knowing I am right.

wy-not said...

If Rhonda's comment made me cry, Carrie, yours has me sobbing. Every word you write is so true – with the possible exception of the turkey neck (that's me, not so much Rhonda :-)). God bless you girl, for telling it like it is!!!!!!

Rhonda said...

I so adore Carrie! I'll email you later. I'm just getting some groceries put away.

I do have to clear up that the piano/wife comment was mine, not his. He gets mad when I talk like that.


Blog Stalker said...

Good luck Rhonda! It is definitely a whole bunch of good decisions in a row that make us successful. The hard part is not falling out of habit when you have a slip up.

My favorite line(you may recognize it) Don't let a lapse become a collapse! Get right back on the horse. Don't know where the horse reference came from, just go with it.

Ronda's Rants said...

Rhonda...your Mom and Carrie made me cry!!! Blog Stalker...I love your favorite is now on my bulletin board! Thanks for the inspiration.

Rhonda said...

I say we have a milkshake candy bar and cheeseburger fun fest!
that's not helpful.
but I can soooo relate.
good luck!

AndBabyWillMake4 said...

I honestly feel you have to hit bottom in order to be ready to make the change! Good luck.


I'm laughing WITH you, not at you! Why does everything that tastes good have to be bad?
I blame Eve. More so than the monthly visitor, THIS is our punishment!

jill jill bo bill said...

So is being a fatass bad? Am I not "in" anymore? Am I not supposed to be unable to talk after I carry in groceries? When I wave, can my upper arm not say good-bye, too? Does the bond my belly has with the tops of my thighs when I sit not mean anything?