My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Another day. Another diet.

So, this isn't going so well.  The more I think about how I should be eating better, the more I crave the crap that has brought me to this point.  
Am I totally stupid?
I am foregoing a get together with someone I haven't seen in years because of the way I look.
I hang my head and hope people I see won't recognize me.
I see a picture of myself and am horrified.
And then I go and get something to eat.
I suppose that is emotional eating, though I have always been more of a boredom eater.  Too many nights alone while my kids and husband slept.  I am so determined to have a couple of childless hours at the end of each day that I have sabotaged myself.
I'm too young to be fat.  
Fat is for Baba's.  Kids don't like to sit on bony laps.
Fat is for round little babies.  Their dimpled knees and elbows are so cute on them. That look doesn't work so well for me.
I'm mad that I have "let myself go".  How do I "get myself back"?
How do I find time to get to the gym?  To plan menus.  
How do I do this, and still blog?
My kids are floored when they see pictures of me from only six or so years ago. I told them that I could look almost like that again, if I tried. "Would you like that?" They hooted and hollered and cheered, that yes, they would love that. "Go for it, Mom!"
Go for it, indeed.
Great.  Now I want chocolate.


6 comments:

angie said...

In January I made a resolution to lose all the weight I'd accumulated. I decided to cut out all snacking, eat a healthy but low calorie breakfast and lunch and enjoy a normal dinner with my family. It's July and I've changed the way I eat. Doesn't seem like a diet, rather better eating choices. I didn't lose the weight quickly, but it's slowly but surely come off......don't deprive yourself of good things, just cut the portions down. :)

Ronda's Rants said...

Good Luck...you can do it! I wish it were easy but it isn't for most people. I have gained 10 pounds these last five years...which might not seem like much but I am a small person and I can't seem to lose it! I am older than you and it seems harder now to lose added weight. I have statred walking 3 miles a day...which I do love...I have picked a great spot with a great veiw and I plan my day while I walk. I have lost only two pounds but it's a start and I am getting happier or more contented so less emotional eating! Get plenty of sleep too!

wy-not said...

Okay babe. Here's the thing. I could have written that. I wouldn't have written it as well. But that's my life you wrote about. Right down to the need for chocolate. Is this hereditary? Did you get it from me? Or are we both weak and susceptible to temptation?

Heather said...

You can do it!!

Emily said...

Oh, this is so me! Here's to chocolate, and 'starting over tomorrow'.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Argh. Pass the chocolate.