My Name Is Rhonda. I Was A Blogger, But It Has Been Two Weeks Since My Last Post.

I feel like I should be reintroducing myself.

Hello self.

I say self because I'm pretty sure everyone else has given up on me by now.

I thought I would post a quick update. Life is getting out of hand and I just can't keep up. I'm PMSing. My body hurts from soccer and bug bites. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. I've gained 10 pounds. And I'm a little cranky.

Asia is still doing her thing. She has been gone six weeks today, but who's counting? She is coming over for supper tonight and to be honest, I'm a little nervous. How totally stupid is that? What do I do if she doesn't want to come home? What do I do if she does? Shit. Hahaha.

I got a new-to-me car. It's a Dodge Magnum. Black with tinted windows. I'm calling myself Mafia Mama. I think it fits, seeing as I'll be turning to drugs soon if life doesn't shape up, and since I'm PMSing, I may just off someone pretty damned soon.

We went to the lake for the first camping weekend last weekend. It was actually nice. But shhhh.... Don't tell Leon. It'll go to his head. I went fishing for the first time and entertained my family with how "excited" I got (truly it was just totally scared shitless, but it's my blog and I'll lie if I want). My very first catch was a jack that poked his face out of the water and opened up his big-ass ugly mouth so wide I thought he was going to swallow me whole. I screamed. Really loudly. Then he spit out the hook and swam away. I think he was laughing at me, but I can't be sure. I got totally sunburned and was really close to saying screw the rules and going braless at work on Monday. But I chickened out. It would have been really embarrassing if the ladies peaked out the bottom of my shirt to say hello, dontcha know.

I changed the layout of my blog and now have lost my daily reads. You know, the one that updates as my peeps post? Gone. I'm totally bummed, because if nothing else, I would now and then come on here just to keep up with others. And now I don't know how to get it back and I don't remember blog websites. So, what the heck do I do now?

Liv and Cassie have their last day of school today. Next week they will be heading off with their Dad to the lake for 10 days and I will join them on weekends. My weekdays will be booked with dates to see old friends that mom guilt won't let me see except for when my family is gone. The rest of the time I will work my full time job and my casual job for extra cash since we moms all know that when our families are gone, all we do is clean house anyway, right?

So, that's about it, I think. I don't know when I'll be back. I'm worried that if my blog is ignored for too long, then it'll be wiped out. Does that happen? Not sure, but I don't want to risk it.

Is It Getting Hot In Here, Or Is It Just Me - And 800 Other Women...

For your viewing pleasure, Leon's 2011 Fireman Calendar Tryouts that went on last weekend. He got first place competing against 22 other firemen. I highly recommend you watch it with your sound up. The music is essential to the show - as is my mother's laughter!! lol

Laughter Is Always The Best Medicine.

1.) I sometimes laugh when I’m uncomfortable…or being yelled…or in church…or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

I'm a little late in my writer's workshop post. Life, and Facebook's Family Feud has gotten in the way of my blogging. But better late than never, though, and can you believe that I'm going to write about something other than Asia?

I definitely laugh at inappropriate times. Two in particular come to mind.

First was during Christmas Eve service at Leon's family's catholic church. Let me just say that I don't do silent, serious moments well. And even worse for me are catholic church moments. Even in my lowest moments, I will come up with something off the wall to lighten the mood. Now if something funny happens in one of these situations, I'm just screwed. I will laugh without ceasing for embarrassing lengths of time.

Church service was just starting and they were doing their processional down the middle of the church, the alter boys following behind the priest. They got to the dais, or alter, whatever, and one of the alter boys tripped on his little white dress thingy as he was going up the stairs. He stumbled up a couple of the steps and caught himself. I thought it was hilarious.

And then he tripped again.

And I basically just freaking LOST it. I laughed the entire hour. Leon's mom elbowed him and told him to tell me to get it together. Ha. Fat chance. It was by far my favorite Christmas Eve church moment.

The other time was actually when we were meeting with the minister for our wedding. Harold was my family's church's minister and thankfully he was very down to earth and pretty cool. Again, a serious, quiet discussion in his tiny little office.

For no reason at all, I started to laugh. I know it was nerves. But that didn't help to stop. I had tears streaming down my cheeks. My face was contorted into that awful look a person gets when they are trying their darnedest to stop laughing.

It was ugly.

And embarrassing.

Everyone was worried I wouldn't be able to get through the wedding without imploding. I did, however, thanks to the various moments during the ceremony when we could all laugh off the tension. Like the big "Yeehaw" when I came down the isle, jamming the ring on Leon's finger with full sound effects and wee Asia clapping her hands and saying "yay!" after we were pronounced husband and wife.

Knowing me, there have been plenty of other "moments". I do laugh a lot. Usually uncontrollably. Usually late at night. And usually at my husband's expense. Tee hee.

Okay, Now I'm Just Angry

I think I'm going about this in totally the wrong order, but whatever. I never have done things quite right. And I'm sure the subject of my ire will confirm that whole heartedly.

I'm angry.

I'm angry that she thinks she is such a victim.

I'm angry that she seems to hate us for no reason. (Unless you can consider opportunity, encouragement, love and a nice trip to Florida no reason.)

I'm angry that she is putting us through this.

I'm angry that she is just a selfish little brat who doesn't have a clue.

I'm angry that she thinks we owe her.

I'm angry that she can thrive in another woman's home while being nothing but hateful in mine.

I'm angry that we're having to put on smiles and pretend that everything is okay while our hearts are breaking.

I'm angry that she is still running my house when she no longer even lives in it.

I'm angry that she was so mean to her Dad when he was just going to the school to pay for HER bus pass.

I'm angry that she wants to use us and make demands and she thinks that this is okay.

I'm angry that she has told her Gramma and Godmother to leave her the hell alone.

I'm angry that she has so little respect for herself and her family.

I'm angry that she doesn't see that having friends who are okay with the way she is acting means that she needs to pick her friends better.

I'm angry because while she is happy as can be and apparently doing well, I can't see that for myself.

I'm angry that she has taught her sisters that running away is okay. Because it is so clearly not.

I'm angry that she phones just so she can pick fights and make demands and that she succeeds in making me feel lousy.

I'm angry that this is taking all my energy and the result is that I'm probably not the mother I should be to my other kids.

I'm angry.

I'm just plain old fucking angry.