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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fart Cloud Etiquette

Today I was reminded of a situation our friend got himself into.

It involves a guy, an elevator and a high-protein diet.

Oh, and a cute young gal.

You know where this is going, don't you?

And you would be right.

A lone guy in an elevator, thinking he's free to let one rip.

And it is a fart cloud to beat all fart clouds.

So intense you can almost see it!

Suddenly, the doors open and a young lady walks in.

The doors close.

And she quickly puts her hands over her face and says, "Oh my GOD!"

Tee hee hee.

How embarrassing, right?

So, let's talk for a moment about fart cloud etiquette, shall we?

  1. Shoulder check. It's okay to let one go when there are people in front of you going in the same direction, but don't subject some poor soul behind you to your direct fart cloud. Not nice.
  2. When you MUST send out a fart cloud in a crowd, proclaim your innocence by looking around once you discover its potency with a look of horror and delicately put your sleeve over your nose, or tuck your nose into the collar of your jacket.
  3. If ever there is a question of it being a fart with real substance, just don't do it ... cause that's just yucky.
  4. Do not EVER send out a fart cloud where, in a pinch, you cannot blame the person beside you.
'Nuff said.


Controlling My Chaos said...

LOVE IT! Except that men usually don't give a rat's hairy behind WHO smells their fart cloud. They're proud of them. You made me laugh. Thanks. :)

lisleman said...

good rules
you may have seen this ad about the problem

You forgot the rule about leaving one under the bed sheets.

I try to clear mine out in the shower.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

These great rules should be posted in elevators and I know what to do.

And remember, it's safe to let it rip if you're accompanied by your dog.

Betty said...

Oh yes! I follow these rules diligently! :)

wy-not said...

Girls. Girls. Girls. We do not fart. We never fart. We quietly "fluff" and only when there's a man or a dog nearby to blame it on. All the rest of it applies only to men and dogs. :-) Great rules for them to memorize!

KK said...

LOL, accidentally tooted in my office today. I thought, no biggie, I'm alone. Then my clerk walked around the corner! I quickly acted like I was leaving so he'd follow me away from the smell :)

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Hehehe... This is a good rule for kids. Especially snorty kids

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Ato Basahona said...

It is good for health fart fart origin in the right place