My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.
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Monday, September 08, 2008

Because the week should start with a giggle:

Sorry guys! I've been a little under the weather this weekend, so I threw together what I could. Don't give up on me! I'll be back in full force tomorrow with the Walmart story.


I tried my best to pick out some of my favorite dumb laws (dumblaws.com) for the majority of people on my blog roll.  Check it out!

For you in Oregon:  
One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway. (Oh, good! Cause that's just gross!)
Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.
One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing,”
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.

For Texans:
It is illegal to sell one's eye. (Well then, how am I supposed to afford to put gas in my car?)
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. (Well, thank the Good Lord that I don't live there!)
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (How considerate...)

The Cheese State:
State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese. (Do you seriously eat cheese with apple pie?)
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
It is illegal to kiss on a train.
It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.

Florida:
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
It is illegal to sell your children.  (Phew! Thank goodness I don't live THERE!)
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (I have no words!)
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Can you say OUCH??)
You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.

Tennessee:
Driving is not to be done while asleep. 
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. (Now this, I'd love to see!)
It is illegal to place tacks on a highway.
Skunks may not be carried into the state.

Michigan:
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.  (Nice.)
You may not swear in front of women and children.
A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. (This just makes me sad.)

And California:
Women may not drive in a house coat.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. (Guaranteed??? How do they do this? And who, I ask, would be punishable if this were to fail? God Himself??)

And New York, just for fun!!!
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing. (So, basically, they would prefer you just go naked!)
Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Really?)
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

12 comments:

Ronda's Rants said...

Wow...The only one that makes since for Florida...is the door opening outwards...it would be for wheelcahir access, I guess. Aren't we strange people?!!
I hope you are feeling better!

Melissa said...

Those are funny! I'm gonna go to that website and check out NC's dumb laws! It should be interesting!! Hope you feel better soon!

amelia bedelia said...

I'm going to jail. I own 12. I'm giving away dildo's! anybody want one????

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I live in Florida, and I'm really gonna miss my husband when he goes to prison for breaking the Fart Law.

Ronda's Rants said...

I meant sense not since...wow!

Shan said...

Thanks for those, I was planning on moving to Texas but I couldn't bear to part with my collection.
I hope you are feeling better!

jill jill bo bill said...

WOW!!! I am proud to be a Texan. But I swear, Amy, if I get one of your toys for Christmas, I will hurt you.
And I am marking Florida off my "have to live there" list. Here in Texas I can park my elephant for free.

Ronda's Rants said...

You are so funny....You are now my best friend! All my future grand daughters...Rhonda with an H!!!

Veggie Mom said...

I've never heard of that law in Wisconsin, but I imagine the Dairy Industry got the legislature to pass it. No cheese on your apple pie? Outrageous!! Thanks for making me laugh!!!

angie said...

Thank you for the laugh (s). Plural. :)

wy-not said...

Okay, why didn't somebody tell me this five decades ago? I'd have moved to Oregon where drying dishes is against the law. I always suspected it should be.

Blog Stalker said...

These "laws" just go to show you that sometimes politicians pass laws just to be doing something. And maybe just to see if anyone is paying attention.

Really, no ice cream cones in pockes? Oh, JUST on sunday. Whew!

And I totally want to live in Texas. At least I know those who would break the law would have to obey the law and give me notice. At least then I could put it on the calender and it wouldn't be such a time disrupter.

Great post, can't imagine what it would have been like if you were feeling 100%