My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

My life in pictures, stories and open letters.

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Thursday, April 13, 2017


It is often spoken of like it is the worst possible fate for a human.  Worse than cancer. 
The tone with which people even say the word makes you think it is shameful and disgusting.
I suppose it is.
People have been known to say, to me, “I don’t want to get fat!”  And they use that tone.
Do you know that fat people are harder on themselves than anyone else could ever be?
Yes, I’m fat.
I don’t have a thyroid condition.  I have no other possible medical excuse.
I’m fat.
Because I have had a life full of bad habits.
Because I love sugar.
Because I have a sedentary job.
Because I have crappy genetics.
Because after baby number three, I just didn’t have it in me to fight it anymore.

Because, dammit, I like to eat.  And even as temporary as it is, eating makes me happy. It gives me pleasure.
But you know what? It turns out happiness is just as temporary.  
And so I will eat.  And enjoy it.  And be miserable.  And hate myself.  But I will still eat. 

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