Because Princess Kat Says So...

It's time to participate in Princess Kat's Thursday Homework Assignment. I've chosen the New Year's Resolutions. The Bound To Fail Version. Hahaha.

Rhonda's New Year's Resolutions

Be forewarned, this post comes from much reflection and inner seeking. It may be just too darned honest for some people to handle. Myself included. Rest assured, it will be followed with a stiff drink.

1. The standard lose weight / get in shape comes in at the top of course. I have been spending much time on my Wii, and unfortunately much time on Christmas chocolates. However, I will soon be doing a post or two about fitness for anyone on the same wavelength as me.
   
2. I vow this year to find something I am passionate about. You can probably hear Leon whooping from where you sit reading this, but it won't be long until he figures out that that isn't the kind of passion I'm talking about!! lol
   
   
   
3. I want to complete a mini triathalon OR dualthon. There is a dualthon in April and a mini triathalon in September. Did I mention that I'm not a very strong swimmer and I hate to run? Yeah, well....
   
4. I want to find something I can take in school to work on my poor little brain. It could be something geography or history related, or perhaps upgrade a high school course so that at some point, if I decide, I can go back to school for real.
   
5. I am so tired of being so busy that we don't get to see our friends. I'm wanting to, at least once per month, just get together with someone. It doesn't have to be a huge deal. Coffee and a movie. Supper and drinks. Card games at home. I'm not picky. I just miss my friends.
   
6. I want to take a nice, hot holiday this year. Hopefully for Christmas/New Year's. Get away from the hustle and bustle that is Christmas. But first, resolution number one has to happen....
   
7. I don't need a super clean house, I'd just like to keep up. Amen.
   
8. Get money issues back under conrol. Holy Dyna!!
   

That's about all the potential failure I can take for now. Have yourselves a fabulous Thursday and party safely tonight!

Happy****New****Year!!!

So, Have You Ever Found Yourself Waiting On Your Doorstep For Your Mom To Come Home And Thought Licking Snow Off The Bannister Would Be Fun?

Yes, I know we've (almost) all been there, right?

It was so white and fluffy and fresh. And get this, I am STILL that girl who will get snow by the cupful and snarf it back with a spoon in front of the TV. It's a great low calorie snack!

However, when you are young and don't know that your tongue will stick to the metal railing, it's not so fun. And snow mixed with a layer of tongue and a whole lot of blood not surprisingly does not taste very good either.

So, anyway. There I am a few doors down from the school, standing at my front door waiting for my mom (how is it that when I tell this story NO ONE wonders how my mom could lock me out of the house on a horribly cold winter day...?) and decided to have a nice white snack.

As I was running my tongue along the deep snow, thoroughly enjoying myself, I found my tongue suddenly wouldn't move along anymore. I pulled a little bit. Okay, I pulled a lot. And if you've known me for long, you know that I am not one to call attention to myself or do anything under the sun to make myself look like a fool. (It takes an awful lot of work too, I must add!)

Instead of screaming to get someone's attention, or patiently waiting for my mom and risk having people see me stuck to the railing, I just ripped my tongue away from the railing.

I lost an entire layer of my tongue. (It was a full-tongue railing lick!!)

And then, suddenly, I didn't mind looking like a fool. Or as the British would say, a "bloody fool". With blood pouring out of my tongue, I screamed for all I was worth.

Brad's older sister happened to be walking home and heard me screaming and came to rescue me. She took me back to the school and straight into the office.

They cleaned me up the best they could and asked me what happened.

They said, "Rhonda, did you touch your tongue to any metal??"

"Mo."

"Rhonda, are you sure?"

"Yeth."

Somehow I don't think they believed me. But they found my mom, who came to get me and took me home.

My poor, poor self.

Christmas Holidays You Say??? When Does The "Holiday" Start?

Who says Christmas "Holidays" are actually a holiday? With Christmas festivities starting Christmas Eve in Leon's family, Christmas Day in mine, Liv's birthday on Boxing Day (26th for my American friends) and Cassie's soccer tournament starting on the 27th and Leon's niece's engagement pictures and five hours of editing and slideshowing on the 27th also, it has been a very busy time indeed.

Tomorrow I will be back at work, anxiously awaiting this coming long weekend where I have announced that we will be celebrating an annual "Mom is not leaving the house" day on January 1st.

This week you can expect some pictures of the Christmas festivities. I am also excited to share with you an opportunity I have been given, with get in shape New Year's Resolutions fresh on our lips, to share some fitness tips using a Bosu Ball!! I'm hoping to be doing that for you in the month of January, while you are still in the fitness mindset.

For now, though, I will leave you with pictures from the photo shoot!

Merry Christmas Santa ...

... Wherever you are!!

So these pictures are not quite as good as when the big man in red actually shows up, but they have to be a close second, right?

Leon phoned the mall today to find out if Santa was going to be in after supper, and they refused to tell him, because "It's a separate company."

So off we go with our three young ladies to hit the mall for Santa pictures - Only to find that he leaves at 3:00 on Tuesdays.

Phew. It's a good thing gettin out of the house with two fancy-pants teenagers and one clean little five (almost six) year old is such a piece of cake.

Otherwise I'd have been totally pissed enough to break into the North Pole and take my own damned pictures.

Oh, wait.....

Welcome to the Coldest Place on Earth, My Friends!

Yah. You heard that right.

The C*O*L*D*E*S*T place on earth!

Colder than the Territories.

Colder than freaking ALASKA, people!

Seriously, WTF???


It was minus 59 at the airport today.

Who knows if my van will even start tomorrow!

Yes. I know I'm using a whole lotta exclamation points.

But they are totally necessary!!!!

Colder than freaking Alaska, and you can bet your arse than we don't get to close up shop and stay home. No sir'ee.

Because WE are CANADIANS.

We're used to this shit, right?

W*R*O*N*G!!!

Holy shitfuck it's cold out there!

Liv

I N*E*V*E*R buy the big package of school pictures, but this time, I just couldn't help myself!

Merry SITSmas!

Always a day late and a dollar short. Oh well!

Merry SITSmas anyway!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

What I'm Reading

This one is my current read. I'm quite enjoying it, and am about 1/2 through.

I thought this would be a hoot, being a hard core soccer mom and all. And you know, now that I think about it, I don't think soccer was even mentioned!! It was a desperate housewives sort of book. Enjoyable, light, dorky, and pretty funny in some spots. I would like to read this author's book, the journal of somethingorother moments. I'll know it when I see it! lol

I got a few stories in and realized that this is NOT the book for me. It was just dumb.

Sad. Incredibly vulgar. I have no interest in seeing the movie, but hey, knock yourselves out.

This one was definitely better than Cross Bones below. A pretty OK read.

Not horrible. Just not for me.

So tune in again in a couple of weeks for another edition of "What I'm Reading". I have a bag of books from the library awaiting my attention. And you know, that sad thing about all this reading is that while my brain is soaking it all up, so is my ass! Holy COW!!

Hurry and get here Wii Fit! I don't know if my wardrobe can wait until Christmas!

Oh My God, Did She Just Spit On Me?

Fun in our household is pretty rare. Rarer still when our 15 year old is home. Today, however, we had some very inappropriate hilarity.

We were eating supper, when Liv looked at me with her little cheeks full of water. So I, of course, put a hand on each side of her face and squished.

Water dribbled down her little chin, and she giggled and giggled.

So, my turn. I put water in my mouth and got nice and close to her. This time, she put her wee hands on my cheeks and pressed.

I shot the water out of my mouth and got her right in the face!!

We laughed pretty uncontrollably for a few minutes.

Then Liv continued to try to put water in her cheeks for me to squeeze so she could get me back, but she would laugh too hard and just spit it all over herself!

So then the other two girls join in and shot water at each other.

Asia had her head on the table, laughing, and I snake spit water across the table and got her in the ear. She had no idea where it came from, but now she's laughing even harder!

Not being one to pick favorites, I then snake-spit Cassie.

Livvy now is picking up her whole glass of water to throw at someone.

It was at this point that I was thankful that when Liv set the table, she did so with about 10 tea towels to make a nice "tablecloth".

When one of them picked up the whole water jug, I knew it was time to run!

So I went and hid in the bedroom while poor Leon is trying to talk on the phone with all the screaming going on.

It turns out the phone was for me and when I came around the corner to get the phone, one of the girls got me right in the face with a full glass of cold water. I happened to be looking up at Leon at the time, so the water actually shot me right in the eyeball, under my eyelid. I seriously could not function for a full minute, my eye hurt so bad.

So now, at this point, I'm thinking we're done.

It's all fun and games until someone drowns their eye, right?

Wrong.

One last shot was from Liv.

A full glass of COLD water down my back!!

It was a lot of fun. Fun and laughter at the expense of my mascara and clothes that had done their time anyway.

Totally worth it, I'd say.

Dear Santa

Language warning!! Language warning!! Language warning!!

Don't say I didn't warn you....

It is time for another edition of Thursdays with Kat!! She really pretty cool, especially late on a Wednesday night when you have writer's block.

This week's prompts:

1.) Verse by verse, dissect a favorite song you had in 7th grade. (Okay, one I remember from grade nine was Too Many Men!! lol Me and Char would sing it at the top of our lungs!! How totally inappropriate is that?? Grade seven, though, heck I was still into cabbage patch dolls!! lol)

2.) List 5 must have gifts you are purchasing for a loved one this Christmas. (And spoil the surprise?)

3.) Open letter to Santa Claus. (Oh, this is so mine!)

4.) Describe how you would celebrate the holidays if it was totally up to you and money was not a factor. (Easy. I can do it in three words: Tropical Tropical Tropical)

5.) Book review time! What winter read has you snuggled in and turning pages? (I did this one fairly recently and I will have another coming out next week.)

Let's begin, shall we?

Dear Santa:

My request this year is not for me. There are so many other needy people in the world. I don't technically NEED that awesome Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Christmas candle. I don't technically NEED the Biggest Loser Wii Fit game, because I don't yet have a Wii. I could use a lifetime supply of Slimweigh, but screw that noise!

This year, Santa, I want to think of others. One person in particular comes to mind.

This dumb-ass fuck face this morning seriously held up traffic while in the lane next to me, going about 15km under the speed limit. Then, wouldn't you know it, when his lane ended in a mandatory right turn, he just glided straight into my lane.

Being the incredibly considerate person I am (Okay, everyone who knows me can just quit laughing and get back on their damned chair now!! Sheesh!) I slowed down to let him in.

Suddenly, dumb-ass fuck face realized what he did, and S*T*O*P*P*E*D!! Right there in the only lane there was. Somehow he thought that this incredibly stupid move was going to save the day. Seriously??? Coming to an immediate stop in the lane you just illegally sidled into was a really bright idea, you idiot.

Now, even though he was clearly in the wrong, it is me that would get in trouble if I had hit him. So maybe, Santa, you could straighten out some of these "to cover stupid people's asses" traffic laws while you're at it, okay?

I pretty much knew he was an asshole at that point. And while we all waited for him to figure out what to do (uhhh, DUH!! DRIVE YOUR STUPID CAR!!) he rolled his window down a bit and lit himself a cigarette before he slowly started to creep forward.

Now, I'm not normally an ass-rider. Seriously. I do not want my insurance to go up just because I'm angry. But this time? I rode his ass harder than some of the scene's in my friend's gay soap opera.

He was all over our one scrawny little lane. He held up traffic trying to turn right up ahead by his swaying.

As I got closer, I realized the problem. He could not take two minutes and an old credit card to scrape his windows. His entire car was covered in frost! He couldn't see a damned thing!

I'm afraid visibility was an option for this dumb fuck. My safety wasn't much of an issue for him this morning, either. Nor is the cleanliness of our streets, as he threw his cigarette butt out the window in front of me.

When I finally got to go around him, I could barely see in his window, but I could see that he was hunched over his steering wheel, trying to see out of a tiny spot in the lower portion of his window where his defrost had started to work.

So that said, Santa, there are three things on my list for the poor soul.

1) General driving ability would be nice.

2) Even just a teensy amount of common sense.

3) An ice scraper.

It's not much. But, really, you have the power to save lives here. Because next time I see him driving like that .... I might just kill him.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!