Wow!

I have scoped out some FABULOUS bloggers. Actually, the credit goes to Evi, and I just LOVED their writing, so I added them and will check them out frequently! I am laughing out loud, seriously! One called "Stretch Marks" has a post about being in one of those inflatable obstacle courses and then DESPERATELY had to go to the bathroom. OMG! I have a corner desk, thankfully, so the people coming in and out of the office could only see me shaking if they decided to look really hard. I felt I held it in (far better than she did! lol) and you could only tell if you saw me from the front. That must have been a sight! I had tears streaming down my face and probably had that ugly mouth look of someone only in a fit of laughter or crying jag can manage. I think that is probably the funniest thing I have every read!!!
Check it out ... http://reallybadhairday.blogspot.com/2008/05/somethin-bads-goin-down-at-fun-house.html
(I'm not very good at adding and editing my blogs, so I hope that works!)
Well, I'm off for more good reads. (Yes, all my work is done, but I'm trying not to draw attention to myself....)

He finally did it!

Leon graduated last night! Kudos to him for his perseverance and hard work! I have to say I was not the ultimate cheerleader. I honestly thought, for many years now, that he should just suck it up and work for a living like the rest of us. It turns out, he did it. He proved me wrong. I know. Shocking! It is rare that anyone can prove me wrong. At least in my eyes.
Pictures to follow....

My Meme list....

Okay, so Evi tagged me. I guess that means that I am "it". I honestly don't know any other bloggers, but I am going to do this anyway.


The meme tag topic is to share six unimportant things about myself and then to tag six other people to do the same thing I apparently have rules I need to follow and need to post them here for those whom I tag to follow.
So here they are:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.

Six unimportant things about me. Here we go:

1. I know this is going to be copying Evi's (and maybe I SHOULD - copy paste - to save myself from typing it out myself, seeing as she said it soooo much better than I can) but I LOVE to sing!!!! I belt it out best in the van also. I also open up the house windows in the summer when I am cleaning and blast the music and sing to the neighbours .... heck, to the next community actually! I have no shame. I know, also, that I am no good, but I still love to hear my kids tell me that I should try out next time Canadian Idol comes to town!

2. Okay, now it's getting harder. I daydream. I LOVE to daydream. Sometimes I end up talking out loud, or crying, or laughing at what my weee little imagination has created. Sometimes my life takes a tragic turn. One time I won the lottery and spent the better part of the next very long while (how's that for specific?) making sure that all the wee babies born long ago and gone to heaven before they even had a chance to live get proper headstones. (My great uncle out by Wildwood is one of those wee babes, although he does have a fairly new pretty little wooden cross.) Not just a little metal cross with a last name rusted off. Not just "Baby Jones". They lived. They were important. Don't they deserve their name on a real little white headstone? While I'm at it maybe I will try to find a living family member so that SOMEONE out there will know this sweet little one... I'm sorry. I rambled a bit on that one. In fact, I probably could have split that into two separate things. I may have to if I run out. Note to self....

3. I don't want to be a secretary. But, really, what else could I do? Anything else might take effort and hard work, and GASP, I might fail. I am a closet "content to be stuck" person. I am no closer now to knowing what I want to do when I grow up than I was when I was a kid. Suggestions anyone? (Just make sure it is easy, and that I already have the skills needed to do the job so I don't look like an idiot, and I'd rather not have to go back to school, and hey, while you're at it make me skinny, okay?)

Holy, I need three more??? Seriously? I may have to split number 2 after all....

4. I LOVE to make people laugh. Laughter is good for the soul, I know that, but I love to make people laugh more so than actually laughing myself. In fact, sometimes I feel so happy when I've made someone have a good belly laugh that I get tears in my eyes. Happy tears of course. I did that today at work, and no matter how crappy I feel right now (I am fighting one heck of a head cold!!!) I walked away feeling pretty darned fantastic! No chocolate, or slush or, well, other thing, could feel better than that!

5. When I do something nice for a stranger (this could be as simple as wishing someone "Merry Christmas" - Yes, you heard me. Merry Christmas, not "Happy Holidays"! or buy someone a drink or lend a little kid money at the till because he doesn't have enough for all his candy, or buy a homeless person a hot chocolate - AND give him the change!) I cry. Not big sobbing wails, but just tears. My eyes cry very easily!!! Stupid huh? Are you noticing a pattern than not only am I a closet "content to be stuck" person, I am also a marshmallow!? I suppose I could stand to share some of this "nice me" with my family and not just strangers!

6. My bladder just isn't the same anymore. I can no longer skip rope, jump on the trampoline, or sneeze quite like a used to.

Sorry about that last one. I absolutely could not think of anything else, so that's what was left. lol

I don't have any blog friends except for Evi!!! Sorry. But this was fun anyway! Thanks Evi!

OMG! Who's the fat girl?

At my stage rehearsal at the Myer Horowitz on Thursday night, I was practising with my group when suddenly we heard our music playing somewhere. We found one of our ladies at a table where she had set up her little DVD player and was playing a recording of us dancing at our last practise. I was busy looking for me, as we all tend to want to see ourselves. I looked to where I thought I should be, then looked again, because I couldn't find myself. I was certain that I was to be in that row in this portion of the dance, but nope. I wasn't there. I looked again, positive that I should be the third person back in that first row. Then I realized. I was the fat girl that I first noticed when I walked over to the DVD player. I don't remember now what I thought when I saw that girl I didn't know was me. It may have been something along the lines of "Oh, I didn't realize we had any larger dancers on our side of the routine." I'm sure it was close to that, anyway. When I realized it was me, I just watched for another minute, in absolute disbelief. Then that disbelief turned to embarrassment. Then disgust. I can't believe I've let this happen. But does knowing it help me to stop it? Nope. I think it has made it worse, actually. How friggin sad and pathetic is that?

My bucket list

I still have to check off which I've done. Some require stories that will follow on Sunday....


1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula - absofrigginNEVER!!!!
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone - no comment
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped - - twice, when I was smart enough to know better, but did it anyway
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game - many times, when my girls play sports (those are better than any prof sport anyday! And when Asia was an Eskimo Junior for a game. That was pretty cool.
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon -
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - OMG!!! When we met with Harold to go over wedding ceremony stuff!!!!! It was REALLY embarrassing!
27. Had a food fight Chocolate fondue in Lynne's white kitchen!!! Those were the days! Meanwhile, our kids were playing huff'n'puff vacuum cleaner with christmas rice krispies in the basement!
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger -
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - I was the screamer in a community haunted house when I was a kid.
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster - just tonight in fact, with Asia and a couple of her friends.
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking - and boy was I sick the next day!
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day Jodi Shewchuck and I went Australian on the ski hill for a day.
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - that was a really good day.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced - Tammy. She returned the favour, too, I must add. That's what friends are for afterall.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - A cute young guy on the pirate ship excursion in Puerto Vallarta
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip - - Drumheller last summer - good times!
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving -
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero.
58. Sung karaoke - Yes, and my apologies to all!
59. Lounged around in bed all day -
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater - Once in a trunk, another time in a toolbox of a truck. There were a few times as a kid, one of those was a horror flick followed by an X-rated film (flesh gordon). I was about 8. lol Ah, I have some great memories of my childhood. lmao!
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class -
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest me and Tammy and our beaus at the time dressed up for a hippie party. We were among the only ones in the bar who dressed up.
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo - I have a ghecko on my back.
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason - Leon was so good at this once upon a time. You are probably thinking the courtship was over and he stopped. Nope, this went on for many years until I told him to stop. I'm a moron. Yup.
84. Performed on stage Too many times to count. Next is May 12, and then June 14!
85. Been to Las Vegas When Asia was 8 weeks old and fresh out of the hospital from her stay with RSV. Oh, to be young and carefree and more than a little bit stupid. I had a great time, though!
86. Recorded music Becky and I used to sing Randy Travis songs into my little tape recorder. Oi!
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house Several, in fact.
92. Been in a combat zone I have daughters. One of them is 14. Need I say more?
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship Took the older two girls on a cruise to Progresso, Cozumel and Belize City.
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show -
97. Raised children - Well, I'm trying to anyway.
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking - With the girls, heading to Lane's apartment, we turned on this radio station that was playing this really upbeat mexican song!!! The people in cars all around us were laughing at us as my poor minivan is shaking and rocking and rolling!!!
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Written articles for a major publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds and gained, and lost and gained and lost.....
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart - yes, sorry.
111. Ridden a bike - I rode my bike almost all winter part of the way to work. It wasn't so bad actually. Except now that it is nice enough to ride all the time, and enjoy it, my bike is broken!!!
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone I fractured the tip of my middle finger in grade three when I slammed my finger in the door of my dad's car.
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours - When I was sick as a kid.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper - Most recently me and Cassie, and another of me and both my big girls was in the Sun/Journal at the Suicide Awareness March this past September. Another sad day that I would rather know nothing about. But, as it turns out, suicide has now touched our family, and the Suicide Awareness March is something we will do every September for many years to come.
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Here we go again.....

Here I sit. Another shift at AHE. This one is hopping, though, so it's all good. We have an OD that was sent to the hospital, a father in with his daughter right now, desperate because she continues to try to OD, then we have an agressive elderly lady snoring in the waiting room. Ah, the fun never ends.

I have been wanting to get something off my chest (althought Leon says I cannot afford to) for a little bit now, and, seeing as this is the only chance I ever have to write, I am just now getting to it. This is in no way to make people feel guilty or anger anyone. There is no repressed anger from my youth. It just is what it is.

I got a card from "Gramma Dolly" a few weeks ago. Inside was a picture of my paternal grampa. It stopped me in my tracks for a few minutes. I have never really gone where my head and heart took me in those first moments, but now I can't seem to shake it.

I felt sad. I felt more than a little bit ripped off. I felt awful. Not all for me though. I felt also for a man that I really never got to know. Here, just a province over, were three grandchildren that he didn't get to know. Did he understand that our annual phonecalls were of duty and our parents were standing there making us talk to these people that we hardly knew? Could he sense our discomfort? The awkward silences? I feel terrible just saying it. But we were kids, and kids don't think, and they definitely don't consider other's feelings.

It's amazing, really, all the thoughts that went through my head in such a short time. (Who would have ever thought me capable???) I switched places for a moment, and it was me taking obligatory phone calls from grandchildren who didn't care to talk to me. It was my own kids not knowing their grandparents - thankfully, they know both sides well. I felt for my Dad in that brief moment. How did he feel watching us talk to his dad? Did we roll our eyes? Fight that obligatory phone call, while happily taking the monetary gift he sent? I may have purposely erased memories of my behavior from my mind. I am thankful for that gift my subconscious gave me by removing it.

The other thing that went straight to my heart was that I missed getting to know him. I was just a kid, what did I know then of what I was missing? Would more visits to Saskatchewan have helped? I'm not sure. Probably. I wonder now, in my advanced age, what he was like? I know Charlene said that with Gramma Arndt, I missed out. That couldn't be helped. I should have known my Grampa Arndt, though. And to shoulder some of the blame, I was 25 when he passed away. I was old enough at that point to make that journey on my own. He could have known two of his great-grandchildren. Why didn't I think, even then, that it was incredibly important? Oh, hindsight and all.....

Again, I must say, this was in no way intended for anyone but me to feel terrible, just so you know (Mom).

Just another day at the office

A couple of things happened today to bring Shelley soaring back into my head.

We had a walk-in this afternoon wanting to "turn himself in" for depression. I heard him tell the nurse that he was worried because his wife came home everyday scared of what she might find when she gets there. When the duty doctor came in I told him what I overheard. I finished by saying that my brother went through that with his wife. And one day, he did come home and find her. I like to think that is why every effort was made to keep this guy here (many patients and units had to be juggled), at least for a couple of days. It was a chance that Shelley didn't get the second last time, when she needed it. If only the doctors had talked to Buddy so he could tell them he was scared.

Statistics say that this man will eventually do what he has "turned himself in" to keep from doing. That one day, it will just get away from him. One day, his wife will come home and find him. One day, she will have to learn how to live with what happened, and wonder if the system failed him. Maybe wonder if she failed him. One day she will wonder what the hell happened. But not this time. This is not her "one day". Tonight she will sleep well, knowing he is safe from himself.

The other was an autopsy report. She was 43. She was Shelley's age. An overdose. She had herself a pharmaceutical cocktail and went to bed. Never Shelley's chosen method. She was someone's daughter, someone's friend. Maybe she was a sister, or a girlfriend, or a wife. Or maybe, God forbid, a mother. This is somebody's "one day". Her "this time".

My goodness, listen to me. Aren't I a ray of sunshine this fine day. I'm sure you will (both) wait in anxious anticipation for my next shift at AHE, so that you can know the random thoughts that float around this (often empty) head of mine when all is quiet.

Hello again....

Hmmmm, it's been awhile I see. I haven't forgotten that people rely on and look forward to updates on my blog, I just have been so busy (well, not really) on Facebook (Oh yes, now you're understanding me, aren't you?) that the "life and times of Rhonda and family" have taken a backseat. In fact, laundry, dishes and family meals have also taken a back seat. To be honest, those fine things aren't even in the vehicle, let alone the back seat. If you happen to drop by unexpected (Lynne), you will likely be forced to wear a blindfold, or be asked to "excuse the mess". Then I will pretend to be not horrified and mortally embarrassed, all the while thinking about when I will get back to computer, because, I am expecting a poke, after all, and must be there to return it. Well, listen to me, sounding all important. I am actually not that addicted. In fact, I have been favouring the excitement of Club Pogo these days as my Facebook activity has been a little slow.

So now, not only do I sit on my rear all day at work (to the point where my hamstrings are completely non-exsistent - I know this, because I daily feel the pain of their demise) but I come home and almost physically remove whomever is at the computer only to sit on my ever-widening rear some more. I remember the days of dancing around my house with my kids, and not surprisingly, not having a weight problem then. Perhaps the two are connected?

Here I sit, once again, now at Alberta Hospital (I wouldn't want them to forget me here, you see). I suppose I should get to work. I just wanted to update everyone who reads this (all two of you) on the reasons for my neglect.

More later.

Evi's post that I just HAD to share!

trade you a smelly for a puffy, or a shiny...

those of you who spent anytime trading and collecting stickers on the playground in the late eighties will understand my title...we had our sticker books...filled with sparklies, smellies, minis...etc. What a blast we had. Collecting, having the chance to go to the mall and be the first to get some new fancy sticker, or trade with someone from another school who had a RARE smelly that no one in your school had.
Well, I now collect faces...on facebook, do you? Wanna trade? Just joking.
I have found all kinds of friends, ones that where harder to find than others and some where I was the first to find and could tell everyone 'look who I found'. Friends from all walks of life...childhood, family I haven't seen in years, high school, work, church, camp, different places we've lived etc.
Yet now...other than my regular favorites...my facebook is shamefully already starting to collect dust, like my old sticker collection. It's funny really. My personal collection, which hovers at around 96 people, seems complete and thus doesn't have the same thrill for me as before. It's actually all a bit overwhelming, the thought of maintaining 96 relationships. I can't seem to break 100 and yet some people have 100's and they seem to be really busy ALL the time on facebook. When do they find the time?
I love my collection even though the 'smellies have been scratched (or 'poked') to death' and I've realized that maybe even some of the shineys are a little dull (I imagine I've lost my own 'smelly wonder' over the years too!)
I have many who are stuck to my heart. Ones I've received as gifts from God. I wouldn't 'trade' them for anything

A very disappointing day at the office.

Well, it looks like I will leave here, after nine years, with a handshake or two and a simple farewell. I am not worthy of even a simple so long card from the doctors. Jane picked up a card that everyone signed. If it wasn't for the girls looking after things up here, then there wouldn't have been anything. Somewhat disappointing to say the least.
So here I sit, trying to get last minute house cleaning done at my desk. It isn't even a fun day here today. That sucks. I suppose it makes it easier to leave though. So maybe there is an upside.