Phriday Photo Phiesta! - A Girl And Her Dog.

Go see Candid Carrie for more!

She Said, He Said.

She Said....

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after.

She went shopping, dancing, lunching, drank martinis whenever she wanted, always had a clean house, only cooked if she felt like it, had many boyfriends and sex whenever she pleased, never got fat, traveled more, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, watched chick flicks whenever she wanted, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her arse, rarely had a reason to cry or yell, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, farted whenever she wanted, and had high self-esteem.

The End

He said....

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.

The End

I'm going to apologize to my gender and tell you all that HIS fairytale made me laugh out loud!!! 

HER'S just made me jealous.  lol

Wordful Wednesday

Happy Wordful Wednesday! 

Be sure to check out Seven Clown Circus to see more!

My eldest daughter came home FLYING! She was in such a rare good mood that I had to laugh at her. (It's gone now, but, whatever, right??) She was talking and laughing about what an AWESOME day it was! Then when we got home, I asked her if it was really a good day, or perhaps I should wait.

Her reaction of course, was "what are you going to do to wreck it?"

I turned and handed her a package that had come for her in the mail. It was from a male friend that moved away to England in 2007 (ish).

My delightful girl screamed her fool head off.

And then she started to cry.

And this is what was in it.... Just in time for Valentine's Day.




She also got a beautiful card and he wrote just the sweetest thing inside. And he sent her some pictures. In one he has no shirt on. She's over the moon, naturally. I mean, really, WHAT is sexier than a 14 year old practically pre-pubescent boy with no shirt on?

HAHAHAHA!

He is actually a very sweet boy who obviously adores my daughter. 

And, really, besides loads of money, what else could a mama want for her girl?

It's Not As Bad As I Thought...

Hey everyone. Betty tagged me for this "What's in your purse?" post. I warned her....

I would love to do something fun like Kat did, with her video, but we all know that while Kat can afford the 10 pounds the camera puts on .... I cannot.

Before you get to this, you might want to remember number 18 from yesterday's post. I'm just sayin'.

Meet Joe.  Joe Boxer.  I told Leon I wanted a big-ass bag for Christmas, and boy, did he come through for me!

I so love the inside of this bag!! And I so rarely see it....

Everyone, meet all my shit.

All my shit, meet everyone.

Now, to be more specific:

We have in the back row my make up bag, wallet and very full Weight Watcher's bible with about a gazillion week's worth of booklets in it.

Next-ish row, there is an oversized book (just to put it all in perspective for you), my cell phone (which is rarely answered), a few random coins, lip gloss that never quite made it back into my make up bag, and the schedule for last Saturday's cheer competition.

Also in there, empty gum wrappers, blockbuster card, three stray earrings each with no partner to be found, a business card for I can't figure out what (or why), deodorant, a coupon, pointsbooster, icky stained receipts, gum, tea, my work badge, my work keys and extra set of vehicle/house keys.

Phew!

I carry around one of my prizes from Angie at Seven Clown Circus.

And lots of gum.

Unfortunately, not too much cash...

and WAY too much garbage!

You've learned way too much about me in these past two days.

I apologize.

25 Things About Me - As Seen On Facebook

I don't spend a whole lot of time on facebook, and don't like participating in "forwards" because I feel like I'm pushing things on people. Here, however, you come and read because you want to. But, by all means, I'm totally okay with you clicking away if this isn't up your alley.

1. My husband's name is Leon, but is George on my blog when I'm being nasty or telling a story that would embarrass him.
2. We've been married for almost 13 years, and together for darned near 17. Wow.
3. I work in health care and am hoping that saves me in this time of economic upheaval!
4. I have three daughters.
5. I have a goal to weigh less than my dog before summer hits.
6. I hate the neighbourhood we live in.
7. I can't jump, skip rope, laugh, cough or sneeze without fear anymore.  See #4.
8. I want to travel the world, but money and bathroom issues hold me back.
9. I LOVE '80s music!
10. I also secretly enjoy some of my teenage daughter's music. Some of it still REALLY sucks though!
11. I HATE skinny jeans. We wore tight jeans way back when ... why did they not look as bad?
12. Junior high girls scare me.
13. I have decided that Blogstalker is a guy. But still occasionally wonder if I'm right.
14. I finally told Leon that once a month I want to either divorce him or kill him. You understand.
15. I have learned not to blame the dryer for my lost socks. See #4.
16. I think that the real reason there are not more female firefighters is because firemen act like children. Women just couldn't handle that level of stupid on a daily basis. See #1.
17. When I'm PMS-ing, I average 3-4 chocolate bars a day. This helps ease the pressure from #14.
18. I try to be organized, but sadly, I fail miserably.
19. I long to be a blogger with a gazillion followers and time to visit others regularly. But I just. can't. do. it.   Sigh.
20. I went blonde, had laser eye surgery, and got a tattoo of a flowered gecko all in one week back in 2006.
21. I did this to draw people's eyes AWAY from my ever expanding ass.
22. I don't think it worked.
23. I have never had a girl's weekend away. I long for it like you wouldn't believe. See #8.
24. I sometimes wish I had a sister.
25. I just spent $350 on portraits from a photo session.  Yes, I know I am a photographer, but sometimes it's nice to get something extra special done. And we haven't had family pictures since before Olivia was born. My Mom and Leon both think I should take my photography more seriously and make a full time gig out of it. But I lack self confidence. Oh, and money. That too.

I hope I didn't just succeed in boring you to tears!!!  Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Oh, and check out Tattooed Minivan Mom for more memes!!  (Her blog is adult only content, and it's frigging hilarious!!!)

Friday Foto Fiesta!

This is a must read!

Happy Friday everyone!!! I'm playing along today with

Candid Carrie's big Foto Fiesta! 

You should play too!!

Meet Matt and their new addition.

Isn't he gorgeous?

The baby, ladies. The baby!

(Oh, and remember when I told you about my teddy bear named Matthew?

Yeah, well.....)

Moving on.

Matt and his wife are the ones donating the awesome camera strap cover to giveaway on my blog!

But they've been a little busy.

You understand!

Awww, SO SWEET, you're thinking to yourself.

Two little boys to make mommy and daddy so proud!

Proud? Yes.

Two?

Notsomuch.

Meet six of their now eight children.

(Done one at a time, I must point out!)

This family is amazing.

These kids are amazing!

They quilt.

They bake.

They do chores.

They get top marks in school.

You don't even know when these kids are in the room.

ONE of mine is louder than all of theirs combined.

Some people were just made for parenting.

Oh, and I just wanted to confirm with you ladies....

You scrolled back up to see how fine the mom of eight looks, didn't you?

lol

Check out their quilting website!

Have a great weekend!

Mine's crazy, so I won't be back until Monday.

Play safe.

Thursday's Homework Assignment

Oh, this is your luckiest of lucky days! It is time for Thursday's homework assignment from Kat over at Mama's Losin' It, and let me tell you, I'm layin' down ALL my chips for this one.

The Prompts:

1.) Tell us about a lie you told that you later regretted.
2.) Choose a task you'd like someone to complete and write a poem asking them to do it.
3.) Describe a talent you have.
4.) Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.


Am I doing one? Nope.

Two? Not a chance.

Three? Ack! You insult me!

All four? Well, since you're asking so nicely!


Here we go!


1. A lie I regretted. First, let me give you some advice. NEVER tell a lie when you are in a split 3/4 class, and your brother is in the SAME class! Our teacher, Mr. Russell, was buying our row milkshakes from McDonald's because we got all of our spelling right. So he went along and asked everyone what kind they wanted. So I answered "I'll have strawberry. I'm allergic to chocolate!" Lane piped right up and said "NO you're not!!!" Shit.

The above advice also applies in piano lessons, when, at the recital you don't want to perform so you lie and say you forgot your music book. Don't do that when BOTH of your brothers are in the same recital. 'Cause that would be really dumb.



2. We'll come back to this....


3. My talent? I can purrrr. Jealous, aren't you? Well, if not, you're men DEFINITELY are. They're strange and predictable creatures that way.

4. What is on my mind?

1.  How the HELL am I going to get everything done this week??? I'm only one person.
2.  But, then again, I don't LOOK like only one person. 
3.  My Lordy, I love to watch Asia cheer!
4.  I'm PMS-ing, and I need chocolate. 
5.  By tomorrow, I'm either going to want to divorce or kill Leon. 
6.  Poor Leon.
7.  I hope our family pictures turned out okay!
8.  I'm totally bummed that I can't go to Australia!!! The team joined the 40+, so I'm too young.
9.  I can't wait until Leon writes his year exam so that number 2 can get done! (No, not #2, likt that! See assignment #2!) 
10.  Poor Leon!

2.   My poem....  

 Leon, oh Leon. Could you grab the mop

And duct tape the paint roller to the top?

We've got a wall, that's been waiting for you

And perhaps while we're at it, we'll get moulding too!

Oh, can you see it? It'll look so cool!

And if we do it just right, it'll hide the Mastiff drool!

Then from there, we'll work on the floor!

Rip out the lino from cupboard to door!

Something dark, that'll hide dirty footprints

And tough enough to handle scratches and dints.

Let's bust out the wall, and add a breakfast nook!

Oh, can you imagine how bright and open it'll look?

Then down the hallway, with beige or yellow?

Oh, you're gonna be a busy little fellow!

On to the girl's rooms with windows and paint,

You'll work like a dog, with nary a complaint!

Then our room, hmmm. Could you add a walk in closet?

And we can redo our bathroom, new toilet? Funky faucet?

With all this done, spring will almost be arriving!

Then we'll head outside, oh the plans I've been contriving!

Plants will be growing and flowers suitably dying.

I'll forget to water them, and in the sun they'll be frying.

You'll look at them and at me you'll frown.

I'll water them too much, and then they'll drown.

Then we'll sit out in the warm summer day

With a beer in my hand, the to-do list put away.

The kids will run and chase and play

And that's when we'll decide whether to move ... or stay.

Go see Mama Kat for more!

wordful/Wordless Wednesday

Asia's cheer competition!!! 

Go and see Angie at Seven Clown Circus for more!

A Lighter Day Today

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?' At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...'You agonna try again.'




This is so beautiful;

A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that fucking party, you're lucky you don't bark!

I Don't Get It.

No, this post is not about my sex life. Or, more accurately, Leon's.

A quick warning for all of my Christian friends:

You do NOT want to read this post today. 

I may swear.

And I may be downright offensive.

Because I'm feeling a little bit nasty today.

I was away from blogging for a couple of days to tend to my life. The life that I've been overwhelmed with lately. Everything hits at once. I know I'm not alone in this. It is the season for tournaments and competitions and championships and all sorts of crazy, let's see how much the parent's can take before they snap completely, schedules.

That isn't the reason I will complain and offend today, though.

It's this.

Meet Tuesday. 

Tuesday full of grace. 

Tuesday is two years old.  

Tuesday is battling cancer.

I've only been reading about Tuesday for the past few months or so.  But let me tell you, this sweet little girl touched my soul.

I read while they were anticipating her full remission.

I cried when they found a new tumor.

I don't pray, but I was definitely thinking of them all while she went through chemo. Again.

I was shocked when there was nothing more they could do. Her mother wrote that it was time to take her home. 

That was January 28/29.

I completely lost it when I returned to blogland to find that she had died on January 30.

I cried for about 20 minutes. Gut-wrenching sobs for this little girl. For her family.

And then I got mad.  I got pissed right off.

The way someone with not a whole lot of faith does when a child suffers.

I hope that there is a Heaven. I really do.  I hope it looks like a great big McDonald's Playland.

See. That's my version of faith. It's hope. 

Hope that there something out there a whole site better that this shithole. 

It's hope that Tuesday is no longer suffering.

It's hope that her mother gets to hold her again, happy and painless.

Let's be real for a minute though, shall we?

I'm not going to be stroking any heavenly egos and glorifying God and lifting up thanks that she is now in the loving arms of Jesus.

That little girl SHOULD be in the loving arms of her MOTHER.

God will get her in due time, but she was needed here. Now.

If He's all that great, why on earth do these little people suffer? Don't give me any free will bullshit, or Adam and Eve crap. I don't buy it.

I think people say what they think will justify the moment.

Nothing justifies this.

Nothing justifies a God sitting up on His little cloud watching while a child is tied to a bathtub faucet for 10 years.

Nothing justifies looking on while there is sexual abuse of any kind being done to a child. 

Nothing justifies a little person knowing cancer and pain as the norm in their life. 

If that's the kind of love God doles out to his "children", I don't want it.

Thanks anyway.

For anyone who lives in the area, here are the plans for the celebration of wee Tuesday's life.

Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 am

Colorado Horse Park

7522 South Pinery Drive

Parker, CO 80134